


Fumbling Towards Something

by kyuuketsukirui



Series: Using Words You Will Find Are Strange [1]
Category: Natural Nylon RPF
Genre: M/M, Teenagers, The Establishment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-25
Updated: 2005-12-25
Packaged: 2017-10-11 17:37:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 71,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyuuketsukirui/pseuds/kyuuketsukirui
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's 1991. Jude and Ewan are flatmates and best friends. And maybe more, if they can figure this relationship thing out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Only Sex

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written with [Dee](http://diamona.livejournal.com/).

Ewan makes his way back from the bar, a pint in each hand. Looking around, he's glad he told Jude to grab them a table; it's pretty crowded and it looks as if they may have got the last free spot. He sets a glass down in front of Jude with a thunk and claps him on the back as he takes his seat. "Drink up." He grins. "No moping, now."

"Cheers." Jude pulls a face and reaches for the beer. "I am not moping," he says crossly. "I am drowning my sorrows in proper fashion, like what any bloke does when his heart has been ripped from his body and callously steamrollered into oblivion by yet another heartless cow of the female persuasion." He sighs and sips his beer. "And by phone, too. Oh, the indignity!"

Ewan laughs and raises his glass in a salute before taking a long swallow. "Aah, that's good," he says, sighing happily. He runs a hand through his hair and leans back, his mood completely unaffected by Jude's depressed state. "Maybe you should just give up women altogether. Save yourself the heartbreak."

"It's all right for you, you tosser," Jude grumbles. "You can laugh."

He reaches for his cigarettes and lights one before pushing the packet across the table towards Ewan. "Bloody women. Maybe I should give them up. Go join a monastery or something, or join the ranks of the mincing nancy boys. You never seem short of a shag."

"Mincing nancy boys?" Ewan's voice rises in indignation. He glares at Jude for all of five seconds and then grins. "No, I never am short of a shag, am I?" He lights up and takes a drag, exhaling slowly, then adds casually, "You don't know what you're missing, mate."

"Yeah, well..." Jude shrugs. "Just not my cup o' tea." He stares at his pint in irritation before taking a few gulps. "Anyway, how do you know what you're missing? That bird...maybe she was just a rotten shag."

"It wasn't rotten, it was just...eh." Ewan shrugs. "I didn't even fancy her. I mean, I suppose she looked all right, but I didn't think she was sexy or anything. I've never thought that about a girl, yeah? Not like with blokes. But the point is, I did try it, and I didn't like it. So I can say with a clear conscience that I do, in fact, know what I'm missing." He takes a drink, eyeing Jude over the rim of his glass. "See?"

"Huh, that's what they all say, the dirty old geezers who are trying to get into my pants..." Jude scowls. He flops his hand about in exaggerated imitation of a theatre queen and adopts an affected accent. "'How do you know you won't like it til you've tried it, dearie...?' Well, I can bloody tell you," he adds, dropping back into his normal south London accent, "even if I were tempted to try out the...uh...other side of the fence...which I'm not saying I am, mind...it wouldn't be with one of that lot. Bloody letches."

He takes another drag of his cigarette and shrugs at Ewan. "Anyway...no offence, mate."

Ewan rolls his eyes. "None taken. Anyway, we're not _all_ dirty old geezers, obviously." He grins. "I'm only two years older than you." Finishing off his beer, he pushes the glass to the side. "Here, why don't you get us another round, then."

"I didn't mean you, you tosser..." Jude stands and gropes for his wallet. "Yeah, my round... Same again?"

"Yeah, same." Ewan takes another long drag and watches Jude make his way across the room. "I didn't mean you, you tosser," he mimics under his breath, making a face. Sighing, he stubs out his cigarette and calls out after him, "And get some pretzels or something, will ya? I'm starved."

Making his way to the bar, Jude sorts through his wallet for a note and waves it at the barmaid, smiling at her cheekily as he orders. She's not a bad looking sort, he thinks. Maybe it would be worth stopping for a chat with her but... He turns and looks back at Ewan, sitting at the table and looking bored... He can't just leave Ewan at a loose end, and besides, there's serious drinking to be done.

"There you go, mate," he says, plonking the beer on the table in front of Ewan and squashing in next to him on the bench seat. "And some crisps...salt and vinegar for me and the chicken ones are yours."

"Ta." Ewan grins and helps himself to a handful of the salt and vinegar crisps. "Anyway, the girl's obviously addled if she'd break it off with you. Only a matter of time til she's in the paper, wanted for the brutal slaying of her lover or some such. Better some other bloke than you, eh?" He offers by way of comfort, punching Jude on the shoulder.

"Yeah, well...she's not really the bunny-boiler type...more the 'Nathan's got a better car and a better job and he's bought me this great jewellery and he's taking me to Paris' type." Jude shrugs miserably and picks up his beer. "Lucky old Nathan, eh?"

He takes a couple of thoughtful swigs of his beer and then curls his lip into a sneer. "Wait til Nathan finds out she won't go down on him," he adds wryly. "Poor old Nathan..."

He lifts his beer in ironic toast. "To Nathan and Fiona, who deserve each other."

Ewan laughs incredulously. "She wouldn't go down on you? Now that's just..." he casts about for a word to express his disgust, "intolerable, that's what it is." Alternately munching on his own and Jude's crisps, he continues. "See, if you were shagging a bloke, you wouldn't have to take him to Paris, or buy him jewellery, and the last thing you'd be worried about is a shortage of blowjobs." He smiles and takes a drink. "It's a win-win situation."

"Oh God," Jude groans, clapping his hands to his face, "let the cat out of the bag there, didn't I, after all that making out my sex life was so fantastic..." He shakes his head, half-embarrassed, half-amused. "You're right, you know...sometimes I envy you blokes. You don't have to go through the rigmarole of flowers and dinner and no shagging til the third date..."

Snorting into his beer, Ewan shoots back, "If you're envious, you should give it a go." He looks around the room, trying to see if there's anyone decent. _No. No. Had him, terrible shag. No._ His mouth twists into a grimace. Definitely _not_ a good place to pick someone up. "Well, I'd tell you, you could have anyone here, but that's really not saying much." He pauses and adds casually, "Or there's always me, of course."

"Nah...not my cup of tea." Jude shrugs and takes a few gulps of his drink before placing the glass carefully back on the coaster. He glances over at Ewan, noting how his hand cards through the coppery hair, the workman-like way Ewan holds his pint, the way his thin, mobile lips reach for the glass as he takes another sip. Jude looks down, uncomfortably hot at the sudden thought of that wide, expressive mouth wrapped around someone's cock.

"Besides...I wouldn't do that to you," he says, his fingertip idly tracing patterns in the spilt beer, glistening on the dark wood of the table. "You're a mate and all..."

"Do what to me?" Ewan asks, genuinely confused. He looks over at Jude, brows drawn together, and then suddenly it dawns on him and he smiles. "Use me, you mean?" Followed quickly on the heels of that question is the thought that he wouldn't mind it at all, providing Jude kept coming back, and just as quickly he's making excuses, telling himself it's only because Jude is pretty and a good mate, and it's always good to have friends you can shag when no one else's available. Definitely _not_ because he has any sort of vested interest here. _Right._

"It wouldn't be anything." He leans closer, his hand brushing Jude's as he reaches for more crisps. His tongue flicks out over his bottom lip as he lingers there, his skin hot where it touches Jude's. "It's only sex," he says, before finally moving back.

Eyeing Jude's empty glass, he downs the last of his own pint and stands, placing one hand not-so-lightly on his friend's back. "I'll just get us another round, shall I?"

"Yeah," Jude nods absently, "that would be great.

"After all, we do have some serious drinking to do," he adds with a grin. Ewan squeezes past him to get to the bar and Jude leans back, trying to give him room. He's suddenly conscious of Ewan's body, looming close, and the odd undercurrent of tension between them, neither pleasant nor unpleasant, but there nonetheless. Frowning, he lights a cigarette, watching Ewan head to the bar and wait to get served.

It's probably just his imagination, he thinks; Ewan's just a mate and he's never tried to pull any of that gay stuff on him. Jude takes another drag of the cigarette. It's not like he would mind a guy coming on to him - he's had enough offers to last a lifetime already - it's just that this is _Ewan_ , who is a mate, and far too...special a friend to lose over something as meaningless as sex. Even if it was good sex. It's not something he wants to risk. Besides, he reminds himself, he likes girls. And Ewan is not a girl.

Watching Ewan stroll back from the bar, a pint in each hand, Jude wonders absently how a conversation about giving up on women changed so much he was actually contemplating having sex with Ewan. Well, not thinking about actually having sex - more the fact he was even thinking about it at all. And not with just some random guy... Ewan.

Not that it was ever going to happen, of course.

Taking his pint from Ewan, Jude grins up casually at him and shuffles up to give him room.

"I intend to get royally pissed tonight," he says, taking a sip. "And you're not allowed to let down the side down either."

"Oh, I don't intend to." Ewan grins back as he takes his seat, deliberately sitting closer than before, his thigh pressed against Jude's. Leaning forward, he props himself up by his elbows on the table. "After all, we're here to drink your sorrows away, right?" He looks sideways at Jude and raises his glass. "That's what friends are for."

"I'll drink to that," Jude says, raising his glass.

The pub is filling up now and so Jude doesn't really mind being squashed up close to Ewan. It wouldn't be odd at all if he weren't so suddenly hyper-aware of the warmth of Ewan's leg, pressed against his thigh, or the way Ewan's cigarette packet, tucked into the pocket of his jeans, digs into his hip whenever Ewan moves. He wouldn't normally notice how often Ewan's elbow nudged him, or how his eyes glowed in the mellow light of the pub interior or how brilliant his smile was when he was telling another one of his awful jokes. It's not uncomfortable but it is...odd. He's almost surprised to realise he's gone through yet another pint without really noticing.

"My round this time, is it?" he asks, reaching in his pocket for his wallet.

"Yeah," Ewan replies absently. His eyes follow Jude's hand as he goes for his wallet, lingering on the curve of his arse long after both hand and wallet have moved out of his line of sight.

He wonders if this is going anywhere and then wonders when the point of the night shifted from helping Jude drown his sorrows to getting Jude pissed enough to sleep with him. It certainly wasn't a conscious decision. There's a small flicker of uncertainty, but then Jude is back, grinning and handing him a glass and soon any doubts are being drowned out by a sea of alcohol and hormones.

Several rounds later, Ewan's got his arm slung around Jude's shoulder and is trying without much success to keep a straight face while pointing out the dubious charms of some of the pub's less attractive patrons, both male and female. "You could 'ave any one of 'em," he says, giggling. "Who needs whatsername, anyway?"

His own glass is empty, one of many covering the table in front of them, so he reaches over for Jude's, their fingers touching as he takes the half-full pint from Jude's hand. Grinning, he raises the glass before downing most of what's left. "Ta."

"Oi!" Jude pretends to be indignant. "Get your own, you cheap tosser," he exclaims, conveniently forgetting that Ewan paid for the last round, and grabs for the glass. His fingers close over Ewan's and he pulls the pint towards him. For a moment, Ewan holds on, grinning. Jude stares back at him and a jolt of recognition shivers delicately through him. Ewan is definitely flirting with him. And what's more, he likes it.

Slowly Jude drains the glass, keeping eye contact with Ewan as he swallows each mouthful. He sets the empty pint back down with a satisfied sigh.

"Another one, then?" he says, glancing over at the glass-strewn table. "Or should we just grab a few more from the Off License before it shuts and then get on home?"

"Sounds like a plan," Ewan says, grinning. He stands and digs in his pocket for his cigarettes. Lighting up, he takes a deep drag and, cigarette still hanging from his lips, shoves the package back in his jeans, his other hand resting lightly on Jude's shoulder. His fingers seem to move of their own accord, sliding across the back of Jude's shirt and twining in the hair at the nape of his neck. "C'mon, then. Let's go." Reluctantly, he drops his hand and squeezes by, winding his way through the pub without a backward glance.

It's cooler and quieter outside the pub, the usually constant traffic having died down this late in the evening. Jude absently rubs the back of his neck and falls into step with Ewan. He's feeling awkward now...or perhaps not quite awkward, but a little tense. He's not sure how he feels and thinking about it is just making him nervous. Something is happening between them, or maybe nothing is happening at all and it's just his imagination. And that, Jude realises with a small twinge of disappointment, would be the worst thing of all.

He's not looking at Ewan right now. Deliberately not looking. Which is stupid, he knows. Whatever happens, whether it is anything or nothing at all, it shouldn't change the way he acts towards a mate. Or at least not obviously. He glances over at Ewan and smiles.

"Beer and cigarettes, then?" he says, as they reach the corner store. "Anything else we need?"

"Don't think so, unless you're hungry." Ewan shrugs.

Now that they're out of the pub, everything seems a little bit different, and he's suddenly unsure of what he's doing and where this is going. His gaze slides sideways over to Jude and he lets out a small sigh. It's probably useless. This is probably a total fucking waste of time, and even if something does happen, Jude is probably going to regret it in the morning. And then where will Ewan be? Common sense says he should just lay off it, let Jude come to him if he's interested - which he's probably not - but even though he's sobered up a bit from the walking and the crisp night air, the carefree and stubbornly optimistic side of him is winning out. What will happen, will happen. Everything will be fine.

He slings his arm around Jude as they enter the shop, humming under his breath.

Jude shoots Ewan a quick grin and leans into him a bit.

"You're not pissed already, are you, mate? The old coot might not serve you if he thinks you've had too many."

Grinning back, Ewan resists the almost overwhelming urge to just lean in and kiss him. "Course not." With a great show of mock indignation, he adds, "Do I look drunk?"

"Nah," Jude says, glancing sidelong at Ewan again. "You never do. Bastard. Well, not unless you're completely rat-arsed." He elbows Ewan gently in the ribs.

It is a little awkward, though. Ewan's arm around him feels heavy, restricting, somehow encroaching on him. Jude wonders why it has never bothered him before and why it should bother him now, except now he feels there's some significance to it. Growing uncomfortable, Jude is slightly relieved when Ewan's hand drops away, brushing over his back, as Ewan reaches for the beer.

Grabbing a basket, Jude holds it out for Ewan to deposit half a dozen bottles inside. Jude looks into the basket for a moment and adds his own six, because it would be terrible to run out tonight and besides, with the weekend coming up, extra beers are not going to go to waste.

The walk home is a silent affair. Ewan is still humming gently to himself and Jude can't really think of anything to say. He glances over at Ewan occasionally, but only once does he catch Ewan looking back at him. Again, a sudden spark flares between them and Jude looks away again. It's ridiculous, he knows, but there it is. Starting a conversation simply to fill the silence would be even worse.

The carrier bag with the beer hangs heavy from his wrists as he trudges up the steps to the door of the flat. Jude waits for Ewan, carrying his own shopping under his arm, to open the door, and then follows him in. It's easier inside. Normal. Everything is going to be normal. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a can, handing the rest to Ewan, who is already digging in the fridge, the glow of the fridge light illuminating his cheerful smile. "Here, put these in there for me, would you?"

He cracks open his beer and adds, "So, do you want to watch some telly?"

"Sure."

Ewan puts the rest of the beer away and kicks the door shut. He toes off his shoes and leaves them in front of the fridge. Then, because Jude is making a face at him, he pushes them aside with his toe so they're at least against the wall and not in the middle of the floor for one or the other of them to trip over.

Beer in one hand, he half walks, half hops over to the couch, pulling his socks off and tossing them behind him. Off comes his shirt as well and that, too, joins the socks on the floor. Now clad only in his jeans, he flops down onto the sofa, taking up most of the space, and cracks open his beer.

He takes a drink. _Ah, that's good._ The walk home was entirely too sobering, and he's eager to get back to that happy, drunken place where it seemed possible that there might actually be some small chance that Jude would... Would what? _Let me go down on him?_ It sounds rather pathetic, even in his own mind, but at this unfortunately clear-headed point in time, he can't imagine Jude letting it go any further than that. _Stop thinking about it._

Annoyed with himself, he pulls up his feet so there's room for Jude and he adds, "Unless you had something else in mind...?"

"Nah, not really." Jude shrugs and drops onto the sofa next to Ewan, tapping Ewan's feet imperiously to remind him to make more room. When Ewan rolls his eyes and pulls his feet back, Jude makes himself more comfortable, settling back in the sofa and looking expectantly at the blank screen.

"Might be better if I turned it on, eh?" he laughs, and jumps up again, thumbing the switch and waiting for the screen to hum into life. It's some talk show he thinks, tilting his head to see if he recognises the guests, but he's not really that interested. He turns to glance at Ewan. Ewan doesn't seem that interested either. Ewan is watching him.

"Maybe there's some football on in a bit on the other channel, and The Film Show will be on later... There's bound to be a movie on ITV," Jude is chattering away, hoping his voice sounds normal, that he doesn't sound as off kilter as he feels, "or some music programme on Channel 4. Any preference? Where's the remote?"

Remote? "Hmm?" Ewan hadn't been paying attention to the content of Jude's nervous chatter - _is that a good nervous or a bad nervous?_ \- and it takes him a moment to realise what Jude's asking. Ewan scans the coffee table, lifting up yesterday's paper, but there's nothing under there but a couple magazines and a plate of toast. _Huh._

Letting the paper drop, he feels around under the couch and in the cushions and is just about to give up and tell Jude to check the other side when his fingers close around it. Fishing the remote out triumphantly, he tosses it onto the table and settles back to finish his beer.

The chat show droning on in the background, Jude settles himself down again comfortably and takes a good long swig of his beer. Just another quiet night in front of the telly. Perfectly normal. He glances over at Ewan again, who is staring at the screen, looking bored.

"Not to your liking then?"

At Ewan's grunt and shrug of indifference, Jude reaches for the remote and tries another channel. There's a movie on and he watches it for a while, sipping his beer, but it turns out to be some romantic comedy and not particularly funny. News on the other channel.

Jude tosses the remote on the coffee table in disgust. "Maybe something on later," he mutters and reaches for his beer again. It's empty. He had hardly noticed it going down.

"You want another?" he says, standing and heading for the fridge.

"Yeah, sure..." _Fuck it. This is going nowhere._

Ewan digs in his pocket for his cigarettes, but finds to his dismay that the box is empty but for his lighter. He frowns at it. _Must not've been paying attention in the pub._ He's about to ask Jude if he knows what Ewan did with the packet of fags he just bought when he sees them on the edge of the coffee table.

When Jude comes back with the beer, Ewan has already lit up and is now sitting with his legs out, feet propped up on the table. His head lolls to the side and he takes the cigarette out of his mouth, blowing smoke in Jude's direction. "I'm bored."

"Uh oh." Jude smiles, dangling the beer in front of Ewan. "This means trouble. A bored Ewan is a dangerous Ewan."

Whatever was happening in the pub, if anything was happening in the pub, it seems to be slipping away slowly and Ewan is not looking happy. Jude squashes down a growing sense of disappointment. If only they could get back to that cheerful teasing because, if he's honest with himself, he was enjoying it.

"I shall have to entertain you. A short recital from one of Shakespeare's lesser known works?" Jude strikes a pose, holding the beer bottle just out of Ewan's reach. "Alas poor Grolsch, I knew him well..."

"No? How about Monopoly, then? Or cards? I'd suggest strip poker, but you seem to have a head start on me there." Jude grins, eyeing Ewan up and down. "Mind you, it's not so much fun with only two players.

"Although," he adds, circling the coffee table and perching on the arm of the sofa, feeling greatly daring, "sometimes it can be... And anyway, we're supposed to be drowning my sorrows and helping me forget the cruelty of women." He presses the fresh beer into Ewan's hand and slides into the seat next to him. "Come on, drink up."

After a final drag, Ewan leans forward to drop the cigarette butt in his empty beer bottle. "I _was_ helping you forget," he says animatedly. When he sits back, it's with his legs curled underneath him and his arm draped around Jude again.

"And did you listen to my - sage, if I do say so myself - advice? No." He takes a drink and then waves the bottle in front of them for emphasis. "You could've gone home with any of those lovely folks I pointed out to you, but what did you do? You went home with me. You could be having sex right now, but instead," his thumb rubs lazy circles on Jude's shoulder, "you're here," he pauses and leans in, their heads nearly touching, "with me."

He pulls back then, but his arm is still around Jude's shoulders and he's still much closer than he'd normally be sitting. Tipping his head back and watching Jude through his lashes, he takes a long swallow, deliberately making a show of it, his lips and tongue sliding over the glass as if it were Jude's cock. His eyes drift shut and a barely audible moan rises up from his chest. All calculation is gone now; he's totally lost in the moment.

Glancing sidelong at Jude, he releases the bottle with an audible pop. He smiles. There. If Jude wants to take it as a joke, then Ewan is willing to laugh it off as well. If not, then maybe they actually will get somewhere tonight.

Jude just stares at Ewan, open mouthed. His hand strays unconsciously to the front of his jeans, rubbing gently. He is already half hard.

Nervously, he laughs, a short breathless sound. Ewan frowns and then pulls away slightly, already beginning to paint a fake smile on his face.

"No," Jude raps out sharply, and then so there's no mistaking his meaning, he leans in to Ewan and slides an arm around his back.

"I mean..." he says breathlessly, and gulps, looking at Ewan, "I mean, yeah, I could have gone home and had sex with anyone in that pub tonight. Only I wanted to go home and..."

He can't say it. He can't put it into words. The desire he hadn't thought he could feel, hadn't acknowledged until now. The attraction he has been denying.

"...and see what happened," he finishes lamely, turning red. He can't look at Ewan. "With you, I mean."

"Yeah?" Ewan reaches out and places the bottle on the coffee table, and it's pure luck that it only wobbles a bit and doesn't spill, because he's not watching what he's doing at all. He's watching Jude, still, and the moment his fingers leave the bottle, he's not even doing that. His eyes are closed and he's kissing Jude, tentatively at first, ridiculously afraid even now that Jude is going to change his mind.

Kissing is kissing and kissing is good. Kissing Ewan is even better than good. It's exhilarating, nerve-racking, triumphant, scary, glorious, and so...so much of... Jude can't even begin to think.

There are soft lips against his own. Sweet. Demanding. Soft at first but growing more and more eager as he finds himself responding. His lips scrape over rough stubble and Jude knows he should be surprised, should be cataloguing the difference between kissing women and kissing men, but it's Ewan, Ewan he's kissing and the analytical part of his brain seems to have shut down and all he can think about is how good this feels and how he wants more. More. His fingers slide over Ewan's soft naked back and he pulls him down on top of him, melting and moaning beneath him.

His initial surprise at Jude allowing this having faded, Ewan throws himself into the kiss. Jude tastes like cigarettes and beer, but that's hardly surprising; his own mouth undoubtedly tastes the same. One hand slides under Jude's shirt and he brushes his thumb over Jude's nipple, feeling it harden under his touch. That's not the only thing hard, either; he can feel Jude's growing erection pressing against hip as they writhe together.

Jude squirms, his body rising to meet Ewan's wandering fingers, one hand snaking up to tangle in Ewan's hair, pulling his head down to deepen the kiss. Some small sober part of him still can't believe he is doing this. His fingers itch to explore this new territory, wandering aimlessly over Ewan's back, his ribs and up to map out the strange contours of Ewan's chest. He moans again, thrusting up against Ewan's hip, hard and exhilarated.

The kiss becomes rough, demanding. Ewan's tongue slides against Jude's as he tries to cover every last millimetre of Jude's mouth. He reaches between them, cupping Jude's cock through his jeans and squeezing.

"Oh God..." Jude whimpers, thrusting up into Ewan's hand. He's not used to being pursued this aggressively, to having someone else make all the moves, and he loves it. He loves it. "Please," he whispers, lifting his arms for Ewan to slide his t-shirt over his head. "Please, show me."

Ewan gives Jude's cock another squeeze and then pulls his shirt off, tossing it onto the already cluttered coffee table. No longer hesitant now that Jude is obviously enjoying this, he nips lightly at Jude's neck and then moves down, his tongue leaving a wet trail to Jude's nipple.

Jude can hardly breathe. Ewan is painting his body with hot, wet strokes of his tongue, rapidly cooling lines of moisture marking his skin. Jude grips Ewan's shoulders, solid and real, and rubs his thumbs into the grooves of his collarbone.

Ewan makes muffled, happy noises against Jude's chest and down his belly. His skin is warm and salty and Ewan is filled with an overwhelming desire to have Jude's cock in his mouth right now. Sitting back, he starts unbuttoning Jude's jeans.

 _God_... Jude's face is flushed, his eyes closed and his lips parted. _Absolutely beautiful_ , Ewan thinks, and he doesn't think he's ever thought that about anyone before.

Finally finding his voice, he says, "Here, c'mon. Lemme get your jeans off."

"Yeah...yeah..." Jude is panting, eager and ready. He lifts his hips to let Ewan slide his jeans down and the thrill as his cock springs free shivers through his entire body. His fingers tighten on Ewan's shoulders, digging in. "Wait," he gasps, "wait..."

"Huh?" is all Ewan says, but he's thinking, _Nonono, God, please don't fucking change your mind now!_

"My room... Come to my room..." Jude's eyes widen, looking up at Ewan. He runs a hand up to stroke the hair from Ewan's eyes. "Bed's more comfortable."

"Yeah?" Ewan blinks, surprised. He's probably had sex on more sofas than beds, when it comes down to it, and they seem to do the job just fine for him. Better than the floor, but all right. He's not going to complain. "Yeah," he repeats, scrambling to his feet and pulling Jude up after him. "All right, sure."

Grabbing the waistband of his jeans to stop them from sliding down, Jude nudges Ewan. "At least I made the bed." He laughs nervously. "Come on."

The room is dark. Jude shivers, conscious of the sudden incongruity of having Ewan in here in this situation. Ewan's breathing sounds loud, his presence pressing on Jude's space, and when Ewan's foot connects with some unseen thing with a loud thud, Jude jumps. He turns, reaching for Ewan in the dark and slides an arm around his waist, leaning in to him, connecting with him again.

Hands sliding down Jude's sides to rest on his hips, Ewan pulls him closer and moans as he grinds against him. Their mouths meet again hungrily as he manoeuvres them towards the bed.

Solid and warm, Ewan just seems to fit in Jude's arms. Jude feels light headed, wanton and daring, and he pulls away from the kiss to whisper in Ewan's ear. "Show me. Show me what you were talking about in the pub..." He thrusts gently against Ewan's hip.

"You mean this?" Ewan wriggles out of Jude's arms and sinks to his knees, tugging Jude's jeans down as he goes. He runs his hands up Jude's thighs, splaying them out over the sharp jut of his hips. His tongue darts out to taste the pre-come already leaking from Jude's cock. Moaning low in his chest, he rolls his tongue around the head and then slides his mouth slowly down the length.

"Oh..." Jude whimpers, his hands flying to tangle in Ewan's hair. "Oh...oh...yes..." He is barely able to speak. Ewan's mouth is hot and warm and sucks him in, sucks him down, and he feels like he's falling even though his trembling legs still, miraculously, hold him upright. He sways, unsteady. "Oh God, Ewan," he gasps.

Ewan pulls back and looks up at him, grinning. "You look like you're about to fall over. I s'pose we oughtta make use of the bed since it's here." He takes this opportunity to skin out of his own jeans, leaving them in a puddle on the floor as he clambers onto the bed.

Trying to sound casual, he asks, "D'you wanna fuck me?" The words hang in the air, and he quickly adds, "Just, well if you do, I'd better...I have lube in my room, I mean. I'd better get it now..."

"No...no..." Jude pulls back, suddenly out of his depth. "I mean... Oh God..." He runs shaking fingers through his hair. "I'm not...I wouldn't know what to do."

He sits down heavily on the bed. "I'm not ready for that. Christ! I'm not sure I'm ready for this, but..." He sighs, feeling awkward with his jeans pooled around his thighs, his cock still hard. "I'm not a virgin, I'm not shy but...I don't know... I just don't know if I could."

"No, it's all right, don't worry about it." Ewan stands again and pulls Jude's jeans all the way off, then pushes him back onto the bed. He wraps his hand around Jude's cock, stroking slowly. "This is good. This is better than good." Leaning in, he tangles the fingers of his free hand in Jude's hair and kisses him hard, just in case he was thinking of protesting further.

Jude can breathe again, pressing into Ewan's mouth. There's nothing to panic about. He slides an arm around Ewan's waist and pulls him closer, shivering at the uncanny feeling of another man's erection nudging against his hip. And oh, the hand sliding up and down his cock, it seems to know just what to do. There's no timidness, no tentative exploration, just the sure steady stroking he likes so much and the quick play of fingers occasionally brushing over the sensitive head. Jude moans, spreading his legs slightly and lying back, letting Ewan do what he wants, what they both want.

That little hitch smoothed out, Ewan eagerly returns to the task at hand. He could keep on like this, but what he really wants is to go down on Jude again, to have him come down his throat. He groans at the thought and gets up on his knees, pushing Jude's legs apart and settling himself between his thighs.

He's determined to do this right, use every trick he knows. He wants Jude to remember this, wants to make an impression.

Starting slowly, he laps at Jude's balls, already drawn up tight. He continues up the shaft with long, hard strokes of his tongue, tasting every inch of him.

Quivering with anticipation, Jude can hardly breathe, panting shallowly as the touch, the sensation grows more and more intense. His fingers flutter over Ewan's hair, touching lightly. He looks down at Ewan, barely able to see his face in the dark, but he catches the flash of white teeth, grinning at him before Ewan bends once more to slide his tongue around the head of his cock - _Oh God..._ \- and he finds himself suddenly holding his breath.

"You..." Ewan murmurs against Jude's cock. "God...taste so good..."

He tongues at the slit, his hands on Jude's hips, keeping him pressed firmly to the bed. His cheeks hollow as he sucks at the head, and then his lips are sliding slowly down the length until he can feel the tip of Jude's cock at the back of his throat.

"Ungh..." Jude moans as he screws his eyes closed, his head falling back against the pillow. He is frozen, desperately wanting to thrust up into Ewan's mouth but scared of choking him. "Oh...that's good...so fucking good."

Releasing Jude's hips, Ewan instead plants his hands on each side of him. He relaxes his throat and takes Jude all the way in. His face buried in Jude's groin, he moans and then swallows around Jude's cock.

Somewhere far back in some slightly more coherent part of his mind, he wonders if this is, in fact, all a dream, though if it is, his sub-conscious must surely hate him, or Dream Jude would have agreed to fuck him. Still. This is good. Very, very good.

"Fuck!" Jude fists his hands in Ewan's hair, clinging to him as he strains upwards into his mouth. "You...fucking hell..." This is the most amazing feeling, the best blowjob he's ever had in his life and he wonders, vaguely, how much longer he can last. "Oh God, Ewan..."

Ewan's cock twitches at the sharp sting of his hair being pulled. It's unexpected and it hurts enough to bring tears to his eyes, but fuck, it's good. He moans again and sucks harder as Jude thrusts into his mouth.

Incredible. This is incredible. Warm and wet and sucking him down and Jude can feel his balls tightening as the pressure builds and his orgasm is rushing towards him. Abruptly he lets go of Ewan's hair, releasing him. "Coming, Ewan...coming," he gasps.

Ewan doesn't move, except to pull back slightly, keeping his lips wrapped around the head of Jude's cock til the last tremors subside. Jude's come is warm on his tongue and he makes a small satisfied noise as he swallows.

Slowly the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears and the sound of his own harsh breathing quietens and Jude lets out a soft moan, his legs moving weakly on the bed and his fingers resting gently on the back of Ewan's neck. He can't remember feeling this good for ages... for ever, even. He laughs, high and incredulous, and pulls gently on Ewan's head, urging him up. "That was...that was incredible. I've never..."

Positively beaming at the praise, Ewan grins and says, "Well, I get a lot of practise."

He falls silent then, still kneeling between Jude's thighs. Now that the rush is fading, he finds himself almost painfully aware of his own erection and unsure what to do about it. He should have just jerked off when he was going down on Jude, but he was too absorbed in _Jude_ to think about anything else. "I'm glad..." He clears his throat and finishes awkwardly, "I'm glad you liked it..."

"I did...fucking hell..." Jude nods. He stretches languorously, revelling in the feeling of well being and then looks down at Ewan. Carefully he raises himself up until he is propped on his elbows. "But what about you?" he asks, almost shyly. "Do you...can I do something? Help out?"

He pats the bed beside him. "Come up here, Ewan."

Climbing over Jude's leg, Ewan stretches out beside him. "Yeah." He grins. "Maybe you can do something about this." He takes Jude's hand and places it on his cock, groaning as Jude's fingers wrap around him.

Jude jerks his hand away in surprise and then carefully replaces his fingers. "Wow," he murmurs, almost to himself, as the reality sinks in. He has another man's cock in his hand and it's hard, the skin as smooth as silk under his fingers. Just like his own. Only not. Tentatively he begins to stroke up and down the shaft, still only touching lightly. "Like that?" he asks nervously.

"Yeah, unngh..." Ewan thrusts into Jude's hand, wanting more. "Just...do like you'd do yourself, yeah?" He leans forward and kisses Jude, sucking on his lower lip before pulling back to whisper hoarsely, "Do whatever you want."

"Yeah." Jude nods absently. He tightens his grip, speeding up the rhythm, trying to keep it deep and even, just how he likes it. He looks down, concentrating on his task, wishing he could see more of what he is doing in the dark. Ewan kisses him again and he pulls away slightly, thinking he can taste his own semen on Ewan's lips. That's weird. But not so weird after all; it's only his own come. He rolls a little closer to Ewan, his hip nudging against Ewan's and his leg stretched out to wrap over Ewan's knee, and leans in to kiss him again.

Ewan deepens the kiss, his hands roaming over Jude's shoulders, his back, and down to cup his arse. "Yeah...yeah, that's good...oh..."

This is definitely not a dream. Dream Jude would be fucking him; Dream Jude has, in fact, fucked Ewan many times, though he'd die before telling Jude that. He would not be giving him an enthusiastic, if rather unexceptional, hand job. A hand job made memorable only by the fact that it's Jude, and Ewan doesn't want to think about why that matters so much.

His arm is tiring slightly. Jude shifts to get a better angle, and rests his forearm on Ewan's hip, using his wrist more now. It still seems odd - in fact the whole night has turned out rather strangely, but Ewan is clearly enjoying himself, moaning and thrusting against him, touching him, and it's nice...in a weird kind of way. Strange but nice. He wonders what it would be like to taste Ewan's cock, run his tongue along it like Ewan did for him. He couldn't do that swallowing thing, though, and the thought of anyone coming in his mouth makes him feel uncomfortable. He presses his lips to Ewan's again, thrusting his tongue inside, and that definitely feels good.

Whimpering into the kiss, Ewan slides his hands up to Jude's shoulders again, clutching him tightly. His whole body tenses as he gets closer; this might not be anything fancy, but it's sure as hell getting the job done. Sure as... _oh God, yeah_. "Yeah, oh fuck, oh...Jude...uuungh!" He throws his head back, arching into Jude's hand and coming hard, his feet skidding on the blanket and his fingers scrabbling at Jude's shoulders.

"Yeah..." Jude murmurs absently. He shifts uncomfortably, wondering where he can wipe his sticky fingers. It was good though, Ewan moaning and gasping and coming in his hand like that, and he really wanted to make sure Ewan got off, too. It's just - his mind skids over the knowledge that he has just had sex with another man and that it was good - it's just that he never thought this would happen, never expected this to happen, never thought it could be this good, and now he doesn't know what to think at all. Perhaps he is thinking too much.

He nuzzles into Ewan's shoulder. "Hey," he says, aiming for a light tone. "Hey, Ewan...thanks, mate. That was real good."

"Mmm..." Ewan stretches and smiles happily. "Any time." He pulls Jude's face up and kisses him lightly. "Any time."

Jude smiles, and rubs his cheek against Ewan's. It's comfortable, lying here like this, Ewan's softening cock slowly slipping from his fingers. Jude is mildly surprised. Surely he should be bothered by something. Everything's odd, off key, but it's...it's just Ewan. "I shall have to break up with my girlfriends more often," he murmurs happily.

Ewan can't help the little thrill that runs through him at Jude's words any more than he can help the voice in the back of his head telling him how utterly pathetic he is to be happy about _that_.

"Yeah, you should," he agrees, but there's just a hint of bitterness in his voice and he doesn't mean it at all the same way that Jude did. "Or, you know, whenever. If they won't put out." Propping himself up on one elbow, he adds with a grin, "It's a great sacrifice, having sex, but you're a mate. I might be able to manage it."

"How generous of you..." Jude thumps Ewan's arm lightly. And then a horrible thought occurs to him. Ewan could be out right now, having fantastic sex with one of his gay mates, someone who knew what they were doing, who would fuck him like Ewan asked and who would know how to go down on him properly. "Thanks again," he murmurs. He smiles, trying to cover his sudden uncertainty with a weak joke. "At least you don't have so far to walk home."

"Yeah, just down the hall..." Rolling onto his back, Ewan looks up at the ceiling. "Or I could just stay here." He spreads his arms and legs, taking up most of the bed, hoping that if it looks like he's just fooling around, Jude won't have to feel weird about it if he says no.

"Wanker!" Jude grins and pushes Ewan's legs away with his own, fighting for bed space. He laughs then, conscious of the irony. "Nah, 's okay. Stay here. I'll kick you out in the morning."

"Ha! That's what you think!" Ewan sits up and pulls the covers back, scrambling under them and making himself comfortable. "This one's much better than my bed. You'll never get rid of me now."

"Oh God..." Jude murmurs. "Just what I need...a squatter." He snuggles down under the covers, close to Ewan but not quite touching, wondering if he should put an arm round him or something. That would just be too weird, he decides. He's comfortable as he is.

Beginning to yawn, Jude slides a hand up to grip Ewan's arm, friendly but no more than that. He squeezes. "Night, then," he murmurs.

"Night," Ewan echoes, turning his back to Jude. "And don't think you can push me out while I'm sleeping. I'm heavier than I look."

Smiling, Jude rolls over as well, turning his back on Ewan and closing his eyes. "Don't steal the blankets, then."

Ewan grunts in agreement. His eyes are wide open, staring at nothing. It feels weird, being in bed like this with Jude, with anyone, really, because he doesn't usually sleep with the blokes he shags. He's not used to it, and add to that the fact that he's tense, trying to fight his natural inclination to sprawl out, because he can feel Jude, feel the warmth of his back just inches away and he doesn't want to touch him. Or rather, he does, but he knows Jude wouldn't like it. He wonders if he should just go back to his own room, but to do so now would be weird. Maybe if he got up to piss and just didn't come back... But he doesn't, because despite everything he falls asleep almost before he can finish the thought.


	2. Between Mates

Somewhere between waking dream and sleepy awareness, Jude is contentedly burrowing further into his pillow. He's nicely hard; the sort of pleasantly satisfying, full to bursting hardness that you really only get in the mornings and, sliding his fingers over his shaft, he rolls onto his belly to press sensuously against the mattress. The movement dislodges the hand that had been lying curved over his hip and, caught in that dreamstate limbo, Jude rolls back again, meaning to snuggle up against his lover.

Strangely, this lover has a penis too, nudging gently against his hip. Or not really so strange because, after all, it's Ewan, and Ewan has a penis doesn't he? He touched it last night. And so it's not odd at all except... _Oh my fucking God!_ Jude's eyes flick open as he tenses. He slept with Ewan last night.

Hardly daring to breathe, Jude turns his head carefully to check. His head throbs a little as he moves. It's definitely Ewan lying there next to him, gingerish hair on the pillow and his fingers curled lightly in the sheets. He's still fast asleep, looking better than anyone ought to after a night of heavy drinking. He's naked too. Jude is fairly sure of this without having to check. After all, they both are. _Fuck_ Jude screws his eyes closed to shut out the too bright morning. _What the fuck is he going to do now?_

Ewan mutters something in his sleep and tries to roll over, only there's someone in his bed blocking him from doing so. Even mostly asleep like this, he knows that's not right. He cracks open one eye and peers muzzily at the man next to him and _oh, it's just Jude_. And somehow that _is_ right, so he slings his leg over Jude's hip and promptly falls back asleep.

 _Oh God,_ Jude chokes back a whimper. Ewan's cock is nudging at his thigh. His leg feels scratchy and hairy. Male. Just how drunk _had_ he been last night anyway? His own erection is slowly deflating and he feels a growing need to piss, but he is effectively trapped by Ewan's leg and Ewan's hand now resting gently on his shoulder. Perhaps he should just keep his eyes closed and pretend to be asleep. Ewan would wake up eventually. But then he might want to do something... something like last night. _And would that be such a bad thing?_ a tiny voice in his head asks.

Carefully Jude peels himself away from Ewan's leg, pushing it off and down. His feet hit the floor the second he is free and he is searching for some clothes on the floor. Those jeans pooled by the bed aren't his, he realises with a cool shiver. Finally he locates a pair of shorts and slides into them, hopping from one foot to the other, and looks around for a t-shirt. Yesterday's shirt is out in the living room, he remembers, and sighs. He bolts for the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him.

After a few minutes of half-conscious feeling about for Jude, Ewan comes awake again. "Jude?" he asks sleepily, though it comes out as more of a grunt than anything.

He doesn't know what woke him or why he thought Jude would be in his bed. Only, it's not his bed, he realises, blinking and rubbing his eyes. It's Jude's bed. So theoretically Jude _should_ be the one here, and not Ewan at all. _Oh._ But he shagged Jude last night, that's why. It all makes sense now, though he can't imagine why he thought it would be a good idea to sleep here. It's not like his own bedroom is all that far away.

Maybe he should get up, find Jude, say good morning and nick Jude's toast and act like nothing happened. Or maybe not. He's not sure he wants to find out what Jude thinks about last night. Ewan imagines that something like shagging your best mate when you thought you were straight might look totally different in the morning than it did at the time. _Fuck._

Groaning, he pulls the covers over his head and pretends to go back to sleep.

Bladder emptied and teeth roughly cleaned, Jude stares into the mirror. He doesn't look different at all. Hardly even rough around the edges although, looking critically, he could probably do with a shave. Not even a raging hangover to give credence to the idea he must have been very drunk. For a moment he entertains the absurd notion of waking up with a big neon sign on his forehead flashing "Gay! Gay! Gay!", a Las Vegas version of Hester Prynn's scarlet letter. Jude splashes water on his face. No, he doesn't look any gayer.

Wandering into the kitchen, shaking water from his hands, Jude wonders what to do next. It's not like some bird he's not sure if he wants to see again. Just make her coffee and wait for her to get her knickers and go. Ewan's not going anywhere. He lives here too. Jude yawns and fills the kettle. Coffee. Toast. That sort of thing. Act normal. Act like he hasn't just shagged his best mate and now doesn't know what to do about it. At least the coffee will wake him up.

His shirt is somewhere over by the sofa. Jude slides it on while waiting for the kettle. It's more comforting to be vaguely dressed. He can probably face Ewan now. With coffee.

There has to be some instant around here somewhere. Jude tries not to bang the cupboards too hard before he finally locates the coffee, over near the sink, and spoons a couple of heaps into two nearly clean mugs. The kettle boils and Jude fills the cups, adding milk, and a couple of spoonfuls of sugar for Ewan. At least he doesn't have to ask him how he takes his coffee.

Two hot cups in his hand, Jude toes open his bedroom door.

"Hey," he says gently, wondering if Ewan is awake yet at all. "Hey, Ewan. I have coffee."

 _Okay, that doesn't sound so bad_. Ewan cautiously pokes his head out from underneath the blanket. Jude is standing there, already dressed, and does indeed have coffee. _Right. Acting normal. Not a problem._

"Hmm? Oh, thanks," he says, sitting up and holding out his hand. Taking the mug, he pulls his knees up, resting his elbows on them as he sips his coffee. "So...um..." He tries to think of something to say, but all he can think of is the fact that he's hard, still, and he really wishes he weren't.

"Sorry about the milk," Jude mutters, staring down into his coffee ruefully. "It's a bit lumpy. I think it's on the turn... I would have gone out and got some more but... uh..."

He's babbling. He know he's babbling. He can't quite bring himself to look Ewan in the face. He sits down on the bed, not quite facing Ewan, not exactly facing away and takes a sip of his coffee. "Well, anyway, I can go shopping later or something."

"Must have been a bit drunk last night," he adds casually and then ruins the effect by nearly dropping his coffee mug out of nervousness. He can feel his cheeks flaming.

"Yeah, must've been. I s'pose you wouldn't've shagged me otherwise," Ewan says, trying to sound light, but unable to help the hint of bitterness that creeps in.

He runs his fingers though his hair and frowns down at his coffee. "Sorry. I shouldn't've said that. Anyway, um, yeah. Shopping would be good. This does taste a bit off."

"Oh, hey, that's not fair. I didn't say that." Jude says hotly, embarrassed because that was almost what he was trying to say. Except he wouldn't have said it so bluntly or made it sound so... _callous_. "Don't put words in my mouth."

Suddenly angry, Ewan plonks his mug down on the nightstand and says, "Well it's true, isn't it?" _You don't have to fucking lie about it._

"What _are_ you saying, then, huh?" He closes the distance between them quickly, the blankets falling away as he does so, leaving him exposed. He doesn't care. What the fuck does he care if he's naked; he's naked all the time. Admittedly not usually with an raging hard-on, but still.

"Would you do it if you were sober?" Ewan asks softly. He grips Jude's shoulder and leans in, feeling the harsh scrape of stubble as he brushes his lips across Jude's cheek. "Would you do it now?"

"Wait!" Jude gasps, a hand on Ewan's chest to ward him off. "Wait a minute..."

He can feel the heat rising from Ewan's bare skin, smell the raw naked maleness of him, the hard planes of his chest under his own fingers and the soft lips pressing along his jaw. "Oh God..." he whimpers, torn between bolting out of the door or just succumbing to his own rising desire. "I just meant... Oh fuck it." Hurriedly he pushes his own coffee cup aside and places both hands now on Ewan's chest, not pushing him away just holding him slightly at a distance. "I don't know! All right? I don't know!"

"Yeah..." Ewan sits back on his haunches, his shoulders slumped just a little. He doesn't want to push it. He doesn't want Jude angry with him. Or rather, this sort of angry is all right, the sort of fights mates have every once in a while. But he doesn't know if it might not end up as something more than that.

So he backs off.

Looking away, he says, "Yeah, sorry... I didn't mean it."

"Oh..." Jude is almost disappointed. His hands fall away and he sits there staring at them blankly. He is nervous and awkward and embarrassed and it's all his fault, not Ewan's, and he doesn't know what he can do or say to fix it. "Look... I didn't say I wouldn't. Just... last night, I wasn't thinking too much. And if I had been thinking too much, maybe I would've got scared and yeah, if I had got scared then I wouldn't have slept with you and..." He trails off, beginning to think he is sounding ridiculous. Ewan is just looking more and more miserable, his shoulders hunching over.

"Fuck," Jude mutters and reaches out a hand, touching Ewan lightly on the back. "Ewan..."

"It's all right," Ewan says, more to reassure himself than Jude. He should get up now. Put on his jeans and go out. Buy milk, that's an excuse. But he doesn't. He stays right where he is, Jude's hand hot on his back. "It's all right. It's not anything, right?"

"It's not..." Jude snorts, shaking his head. "I thought it was quite something actually. Don't sell yourself short, mate. That was the best blowjob of my life!" Tentatively he strokes his hand over Ewan's shoulder. "It's just... it's just sex, right?"

"Yeah? The best?" Preening a bit at the compliment, Ewan adds, "And yeah, it was only sex, I just...I don't want it to be weird between us, all right?"

"Course not," Jude grins, relieved. "I don't either. That would be... awful."

Playfully he thumps Ewan's shoulder. "Don't get too big headed now, just because I said you were the best." He grins, a little shy but covering it with bravado. "I haven't actually had that many. Working on it though."

"Yeah, well, you are just a kid after all," Ewan says airily. "You haven't my years of experience."

"Fuck you, McGregor," Jude growls. "You ancient old git. I'm surprised you can still get it up."

Ewan's eyes dart down to his cock - _definitely still hard_ \- and then back up to Jude. He smirks. "I don't think there's any question about that."

"Well?" Jude raises an eyebrow, his breathing quickening. They're flirting again and this time he doesn't have the excuse of not being sober. And it's still thrilling. "Are you going to ask me again?"

"Ask you what?" Ewan teases. Before Jude can answer, he leans forward again, cupping Jude's face in his hand and kissing him hungrily. He pulls back slightly, his fingers still caressing Jude's jaw. "Do you want me?"

"Do I want you to what?" Jude murmurs breathlessly and leans in to kiss Ewan again. His arms slide around Ewan and he's awkwardly shuffling forward to get closer to the naked man in his bed. And even though part of him is still uncertain, his body is sure, because he's hard again, as hard as he was waking up with Ewan's arm wrapped around him. "Oh... yes."

"Do you want _me_?" Ewan clarifies, adding breathlessly, "However...however you want."

He lets himself fall backwards on the bed, pulling Jude down on top of him. Ewan is amazed, really, that Jude is allowing this, enjoying this, wanting this. _Should've tried to seduce him ages ago._

Jude's erection is rubbing against his own, only the thin fabric of his shorts separating them. Tangling his fingers in Jude's hair, Ewan kisses him roughly, bucking his hips and thrusting against him.

Jude moans. This is crazy, absolutely crazy and he's still half terrified that this is going far faster than he had ever imagined or ever expected and yet it's exhilarating. He straddles Ewan, grinding against him enthusiastically, any doubts melting away as Ewan's tongue rolls around his own, hot and demanding, and as Ewan's hands slide carefully under his shirt, lifting it off over his head. Skin on skin, so delicious so thrilling and all that separates their two bodies is his stupid shorts which he should never have bothered putting on. So when Ewan slides his fingers under the waistband, Jude whimpers. "Please... yes please."

Ewan tugs Jude's shorts down enough to pull his cock free. He wraps one arm around Jude and reaches down between them to wrap his free hand around their cocks, grunting at the sensation. "Oohhh...fuck yeah... Jude..."

He wishes the shorts were gone, but he doesn't want to let go of Jude long enough for him to take them off. By this point he's no longer worried that Jude will change his mind, but still. He doesn't want to let go. Hips rocking against each other, lips locked together, and his hand pumping away... _oh, it's good_.

This is hot and heady. Jude sprawls over Ewan as he bucks against Ewan's body, pushing, thrusting into the warm channel of Ewan's fingers, Ewan's cock hard against his own. His toes dig into the sheets as he pushes for a better angle, closer to Ewan, aiming for more contact with naked sweaty skin. This is so much better than jacking off on his own. His hands are free to hold Ewan, to grip his shoulder tightly while the other wanders over his body, sliding up his ribs to his hard flat chest and tentatively caressing a nipple, rolling it between his fingers until it peaks. He sighs gently, rubbing his cheek against Ewan's prickly jaw. "You're good at this," he murmurs softly.

"Thanks," Ewan replies inanely. "Heh..." He's ridiculously pleased, though. He wants Jude to think he's good. He wants Jude to think he's fantastic.

His hand slides down Jude's back, feeling the ridges of his spine. Licking a trail down the column of Jude's neck, he nips at the base and sucks hard, wanting to leave some sort of mark, something that says this really happened. He speeds up, his hips and hand moving faster, bringing him closer and closer. They strain against each other, the harsh sound of their breathing filling the room.

"Jude...Jude, fuck..." His fingers claw at Jude's back as he shudders and comes. He gasps, trying to catch his breath, and his hand goes slack for a moment. Then he starts up again, shakily at first but soon steadying, working Jude's cock with hard, fast strokes.

"Oh yes," Jude gasps, "just like that... just like that..." He moans into Ewan's hair and, as the pleasure builds, bites down on Ewan's shoulder. This is no tentative and nervous lover, expecting him to take the initiative, but someone who knows how to touch him, strong confident fingers working him hard, pushing him surely and steadily towards a climax. "Oh God..." he chokes out, and he is coming in Ewan's hand, sticky semen spilling between their bodies to mingle with Ewan's own. "Oh..." Jude's hips buck a few more times and then the tension slowly drains out of him and he sprawls over Ewan, loose limbed and satisfied, absently kissing his neck and jaw. "Fucking hell..."

"Mmm..." Ewan smiles happily, feeling relaxed and a little light-headed. He absently wipes his sticky hand on the blanket and then pokes Jude. "Oi, that'll teach you to call me an ancient old git, eh?"

"Heh..." Jude chuckles, still hazy, coming down. "Yeah, teach me." He turns his head to kiss Ewan affectionately, his lips pursing, and then thinks better of it. It's a bit stupid he knows, lying there half naked with their mingled come cooling between their bodies, to be worried about snogging his best mate, but there it is.

Pushing himself up on his elbows, Jude settles for giving Ewan a broad beaming grin . The crescent imprint of his teeth show clearly on Ewan's shoulder. Jude rubs at the mark absently. "Hey, sorry about that, mate." He smirks, slightly embarrassed, and makes a weak joke. "Guess I must have been hungry."

"Don't be." Ewan grins back. "Felt good."

He puts his arms above his head and stretches. "Anyway, I _am_ hungry, and I could use a shower, too, so if you'd be so kind...?"

"Yeah, sure." Jude levers himself up and carefully rolls away. He could use a shower himself but he can wait until Ewan has finished.

"Hey, seeing as we have to go shopping anyway... how about going down to Vic's caff for breakfast. Bacon, eggs and beans on toast. My treat." He grins. Everything's going to be normal. Everything's going to be fine.

"Sounds fantastic," Ewan says, sitting up and swinging his legs off the bed. Jude seems all right, and that's good. Ewan can do this so long as Jude doesn't get weird. He picks up Jude's t-shirt and half-heartedly wipes the come off his chest and belly. He is going to take a shower after all; that'll clean him off. Standing, he grabs his jeans off the floor and tosses the shirt back at Jude with a grin. "Might want to wash that."

"You fucking wanker!" Jude screeches, grinning and grabbing his shirt. He quickly wipes down his own belly and tosses the shirt back at Ewan's retreating head, hitting the door instead as it closes behind him. Smiling to himself, he collapses back on his bed, folding his arms behind his head and looking up at the ceiling. Ewan's a mate, a good mate. And what's a little sex between mates?


	3. Highly Educational

The street is deserted this late at night, his footsteps echoing hollowly between the tall terraces. Jude fumbles for his keys and pauses outside his front door, looking up. There's a low glow coming through the window of the flat but it's probably just the hallway light.

"Hi Honey, I'm home!" he yells smirking, before tossing his keys on the hall table. It's dark in the main room so Jude flips on the light in the kitchen and opens the refrigerator. Surprisingly, there's still some beer in there. He's probably had enough to drink down at the pub though, so he pulls out the milk, drinking it straight from the carton.

There's a good chance Ewan's gone down to the West End to some club or other and won't be back for hours. Jude has the place to himself for a bit. He wanders back into the sitting room thinking about watching telly or maybe a video. He's not going to sit up and wait for Ewan, oh no, but... His foot connects with something lying near the sofa and he almost trips. It's one of Ewan's shoes. Surprised, he peers round. Up the hallway he can just see the low light coming from under Ewan's door. He _is_ home then after all.

Kicking off his own shoes, Jude pads up the hallway. He is just about to knock before barging in when he realizes he can hear low voices coming from inside the room.

 _Uh oh._

Jude beats a hasty retreat but before he can get very far the door swings open and out steps, not Ewan, but some dark haired bloke. He's carrying his shoes in his hand.

"So where's the phone then?" the guy asks, looking over his shoulder. There's a slight edge to his voice when he adds. "That is, if you don't mind me waiting for a cab."

"No problem," Ewan says, tugging on his jeans as he follows the man out into the corridor. "Phone's out on the little table by the sofa."

"Right. Thanks." Ewan's date turns and heads up the corridor. He halts suddenly when he sees Jude standing there, his eyebrows shooting up. "Well, what have we here? _Hello_ darling."

Cool blue eyes rake Jude up and down before the man's face slowly twists into a knowing smirk.

"Uh... hi," Jude says, somewhat at a loss for words. "Beer?"

"No thank you sweetie. I'm just leaving." The guy smiles. "Although I suppose I could be persuaded..."

"Cut it out, Brian." Ewan frowns, his eyes flicking over to Jude. "He's...he's straight." Pushing past Brian, he makes his way to the living room. "Phone's right there," he says, pointing to it before turning and heading into the kitchen.

"No, it's all right, love." Brian's blue eyes twinkle with amusement as he bends to slide his shoes on. "I can tell which way the wind is blowing here... I'll just hail a cab on the high street."

He gives a little wave and heads off down the hallway. "Ta ta, luvvies. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

The door slams behind him and Jude breathes a guilty sigh of relief. He turns to Ewan, loitering in the kitchen and raises his eyebrows. "New boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend?" Ewan snorts. "Not hardly. Don't think I could stand that for more than an hour or so. Brilliant shag, though. You want one?" he asks, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"A shag?" Jude smiles crookedly. "No, I think I'll pass. Beer would be good though." He takes the proffered beer from Ewan's hand and settles himself on the sofa. "I didn't think you were in."

"Huh? Yeah, I guess it's pretty early, but you know." Shrugging, Ewan follows him out of the kitchen. He flops down on the other end of the couch and cracks open his beer. Grinning at Jude, he adds, "I got what I was after."

"Good for you." Jude sips his beer thoughtfully. "So, what did he mean? 'Which way the wind is blowing'?" He looks at Ewan. "Did he think you and I...?" He waves his beer in between them, pointing first at Ewan and then at himself. "Well, you know..."

"Apparently so," Ewan answers, slightly irritated. Is it really that farfetched? "Anyway, you're home early, too."

"Yeah, yeah... Jonny copped off with some bird so there didn't seem to be much point in me sticking around."

Jude puts his feet up on the coffee table. "I was thinking of watching some telly or something. So, where'd you go then? Anywhere interesting?"

"Nah...same old thing. What's on telly, then? If it's rubbish I might go out again." The remote is, for once, sitting on the coffee table and not buried in the sofa cushions. Ewan nudges it towards Jude with his toe. "Can't believe Jonny copped off and not you. No taste, that girl, eh?"

"Well, he spotted her first... I wouldn't want to stand in the way of a beautiful friendship," Jude sniggers, reaching for the remote. "Speaking of which, you didn't have to send that guy home on my account. I'm not going to get ticked off if one of your boyfriends stay for breakfast. I mean... you don't have to act careful to spare my delicate feelings."

Ewan rolls his eyes. "I didn't send him off to spare your delicate feelings, I did it to spare my sanity. Like I said, he was a good fuck. I don't need to have him hanging around after."

"Well, all right..." Jude doesn't particularly like Ewan's tone. "I was only saying... only you've been acting all careful, since the other night, and I don't like it. You know? You can still walk into the bathroom for a piss if I'm having a shower. You can still make stupid jokes about my boxer shorts at breakfast. You don't have to... treat me with kid gloves or anything."

"It's beginning to piss me off," he adds sulkily.

"Oh, come off it. I haven't," Ewan retorts, but his words lack conviction. He hasn't meant to; he's tried to act as if nothing happened, only sometimes it gets weird.

"Anyway, I'm hungry." He stands suddenly and stalks into the kitchen. "Have we got anything here? Maybe I should go out after all."

"Well, there's the remains of yesterday's Chinese if you want to heat it up... chip shop might still be open on the high street." Jude takes a gulp of his beer and turns on the TV. He's about to tell Ewan he doesn't care if he goes out, he can fuck off for all he cares but... knowing Ewan, he would probably do exactly that.

Frowning, Jude flicks through the channels and then sighs. He looks over at Ewan. "Look... it's just... I don't want it to be weird, that's all."

"Meaning I do?" Ewan pokes around a bit, but there really isn't much besides the Chinese. It's not even anything good, mostly just rice. Whatever. He doesn't really feel like going out again, despite what he'd said. He puts the carton in the microwave and waits for it to heat up.

"Of course not!" Jude says hurriedly. "I never said that at all. I don't mean you're... like... doing it deliberately. It's just the other night in the pub you were like... making sure you didn't touch me. And that was even weirder than if you'd been all over me. And when you sit on the sofa you're always... right up the other end. You don't have to, you know... really."

He pats the sofa next to him. "So... come on over and bring that Chinese."

The microwave dings and Ewan takes the carton out, stirring it around a bit to see if it's warmed through. Good enough. Grabbing another fork, he heads back to the sofa and sits down, closer this time, his thigh touching Jude's. "Here." He hands Jude a fork and starts eating.

"Look, 'm sorry, all right?" He says with his mouth full.

"Nah, 's all right, you know." Jude digs in, suddenly realising he is quite hungry after all. He's very aware of Ewan's knee pressed against his own but... it'll pass. At least it's not that wary distance.

There's not really enough rice for both of them and only just enough of the black bean beef, or whatever it was, to give the rice flavour. Politely Jude puts down his fork and lets Ewan finish off the carton. "That's better," he says and wriggles a little to make himself more comfortable. His arm stretches along the back of the sofa, fingertips just touching the back of Ewan's neck. And suddenly he's very aware of that, too.

He doesn't know why he starts stroking Ewan's neck. He doesn't whether it's to prove something about how he cool and un-weird he is about everything or whether it's just because his fingers are idle and want something to play with. He thinks maybe it's just because he wants to and he wants Ewan to turn to him and... then he doesn't want to think too hard about that at all.

It takes a few minutes for it to really register that Jude is...what? Playing with Ewan's hair? Sort of lightly massaging his neck? Ewan freezes for a moment and then relaxes, leaning into Jude's touch as he finishes off his dinner. The television is still on, but he's not paying attention; he doesn't think Jude is either.

There's no more Chinese food left, but putting the empty carton on the table means leaning forward, away from Jude's hand, and there's no guarantee that his hand will still be there when Ewan sits back again. So he hangs on to the carton and takes a sip of his beer, instead. Unfortunately after a few drinks the beer is empty as well.

Now he's self-conscious because he's sitting here like an idiot with a pile of rubbish on his lap. And he's getting hard.

Right. Fuck this. Obviously Jude's "I don't want us to be weird" means "Let's have sex again, now". All right. Fine with Ewan.

He leans forward, half-placing, half-dropping the empty carton and can on the coffee table, and then quickly turns back to Jude. There's always a chance that Jude wasn't thinking about what he was doing, that he wasn't consciously coming on to Ewan, and Ewan doesn't want to give Jude a chance to think about it now, if that was the case. Hell, even if Jude _was_ aware of what he was doing, Ewan doesn't want to give him a chance to think about it, because then he might change his mind and that's the last thing Ewan wants. Hand on the back of Jude's neck, Ewan pulls him in for a kiss.

Eagerly, Jude responds. He had almost been frightened that Ewan would pull away, get angry with him for teasing him but no, that had never been his intention. He'd wanted more of _this_ : Ewan's lips hot upon his own, Ewan's tongue sliding into his mouth, Ewan's arm pulling him closer and closer... He pulls away slightly.

"I just thought," he says lightly, "that your bed is probably all messy after that bloke's been there and I just wondered..." He smiles shyly and then takes a deep breath. It all comes out in a bit of a rush. "I just wondered if you wanted to share mine again."

Ewan blinks, surprised. "Yeah, all right." He'd been aiming for casual but doesn't quite pull it off. "Now?" he murmurs, tugging at Jude's earlobe with his teeth.

"No, next week..." Jude says, squirming under Ewan's touch. He smiles again. "Of course I mean now. Unless..." A sudden thought occurs to him. "Unless you're knackered or something."

"I'm not fucking knackered or _something_ , no," Ewan laughs. "What I _meant_ ," he presses his palm against the bulge in Jude's jeans, "is are we moving to the bedroom now, then?"

"Seems as good a time as any," Jude gasps breathlessly. Fuck, this is moving fast, but he can't put the brakes on now. He stands, pulling Ewan to his feet. "Come on then."

Following Jude into his bedroom, Ewan unbuttons his jeans and starts pulling them off. It makes walking a bit awkward, but it means he's already naked by the time they're through the doorway. He doesn't bother asking whether he should get the lube this time. He's sure Jude'll just say no again, and he doesn't really want to hear that. Besides, he's already been fucked once tonight, and is still pleasantly sore from it, too. So, fine. Whatever. He doesn't need Jude to fuck him.

Not bothering with the main light, Jude turns on the bedside lamp, almost knocking over his pile of books in his haste. Shirt. Then shoes. Then socks...and, sitting on the bed to make it easier, jeans and underpants. Jude concentrates on getting his clothes off, sneaking the odd glance at the naked man in his bedroom. Ewan's skin glows in the warm golden light. He looks beautiful. So does his smile.

Standing again, Jude stretches out a hand and instantly Ewan is in his arms, pressed up against him, hard cock grinding against his hip, just as his own is crushed warmly between their bodies. He moans, writhing against Ewan and then leans in to kiss him.

Ewan kisses him back hungrily as he maneuvers them onto the bed. They end up side by side, Ewan's leg thrown over Jude's hip and _oh God_ , who was he fooling? He does want Jude to fuck him. Badly. But he doesn't want to risk rejection, so he scrambles to get into a different position, trying to get his mind off it. He scoots down the bed, kissing and sucking and licking his way down Jude's chest and belly to his cock.

Oh yes, this is more like it. This was what Jude was thinking about all that time Jonny was chatting up that girl. This is what he has been thinking about when he jerks himself off in the shower - Ewan, his tongue warm and wet, his lips firm and confident, sliding down over the head of his cock and sucking him in.

"Oh God," he whimpers. "You're so fucking good at this. So fucking good..."

Smiling around Jude's cock, Ewan hums happily. Part of him is saying of course he's better than anyone Jude's had before, seeing as that "anyone" amounts to a handful of teenage girls. The other part, the greater part, really, is just inordinately happy that Jude thinks he's good. Ewan wants him to keep thinking that.

Pushing Jude's legs further apart, he runs a finger down the cleft of Jude's arse and over his entrance. His mouth still working Jude's cock, he rubs his fingers over the puckered skin there, not pressing in yet, just teasing, testing Jude's reaction.

"No..." Jude squirms, clenching his buttocks. It's not that it feels bad, it's just that it feels strangely invasive. Or not so strange, really, it's the most private part of his body and he's not used to being touched there at all. And it might be dirty, or something unpleasant and embarrassing. He squirms again, lifts his head and looks down his body at Ewan. "I don't want anything up me, okay..."

If only Ewan's mouth wasn't quite so skillful he might actually be able to manage more. Jude lets his head fall back on the pillow, panting as he rocks up into Ewan's mouth, his legs slowly relaxing.

"Mmmph," Ewan says by way of acknowledgement, trying not to be too disappointed; it was only what he'd been expecting, after all. His finger slides once more over Jude's hole and then he puts his hands to work elsewhere, cupping Jude's balls and rolling them in his palm, his other hand kneading the inside of Jude's thigh. He swirls his tongue around the head and then deep throats him, sucking hard and swallowing around Jude's cock.

"God!" It comes out like a squeak. Jude has never felt anything like it before. _OhGodohGod!_ He grips Ewan's hair, belatedly realising he shouldn't tug too hard, and throws his head back, letting go of any reservations now. This is good. So fucking good. Ewan swallows again, a sucking pulse running the length of his cock. He can feel it in his balls, he can feel it in his arse, he can feel it in his belly and his knees as the pleasure rushes over him and he is coming, right down inside Ewan's throat.

"Oh God..." he moans again, weakly petting Ewan's hair. As Ewan looks up at him, grinning, Jude tugs gently on his ears. "Up here, mate."

"Mmm, you taste good." Giving Jude's cock a final lick to catch the last drops of come still leaking from the slit, Ewan crawls up and kisses him. He bites Jude's lip playfully and grins. "You gonna do something for me now, eh?"

"Yeah, yeah... course." Jude kisses Ewan again and then pulls back. He still isn't used to the idea that he can taste his own come on Ewan's mouth.

"Lie back then." A little nervousness creeps into Jude's voice as he pushes Ewan back onto the bed. It's not just that he wants to please Ewan. If he admits it to himself, he is more than a little curious.

Carefully Jude slides his way down Ewan's body. His thumb rubs lightly over one of Ewan's nipples and he is struck again by the flatness and firmness of his chest. Jude slows, kissing Ewan's belly, getting and closer and more and more nervous. Finally he is nuzzling in the short hairs of Ewan's groin.

Curling his thumb and forefinger around Ewan's erection, Jude looks nervously up at him.

"Hey Ewan... earlier... did you shag that guy? I mean..." He looks dubiously at Ewan's cock, now mere inches from his face. From his mouth. "Well, you know what I mean," he mutters.

"Huh?" It seems like such an odd question, and Ewan's not sure what Jude's getting at. "...He fucked me, all right?"

"That's all right then..." Jude's fingers are still slowly stroking Ewan's cock. He frowns, watching his hand as it moves on the skin and the way Ewan's foreskin rolls and stretches as he pulls back. It's fascinating. Ewan sits up, leaning on his elbows, and looks down at him quizzically.

"Err... sorry," Jude mumbles. It's a little rude to keep Ewan waiting like this. "I'm just... I hope you're not in a hurry."

"No, 's all right..." Ewan pauses, and then adds, a little irritably, "You don't have to if you don't want."

"Oh, I want to..." Jude says defensively, although he's not even very sure about that either. "Just... God, I've never done it before all right?" And just to prove to Ewan he's willing, he bends that extra inch and licks Ewan's cock.

"Fucking hell," he says, somewhat taken aback.

"What?" Ewan sounds faintly worried.

"Well, it's supposed to be this big scary thing, right? And it tastes just like your fucking arm or leg or something... See?" Jude rolls so he can lick Ewan's thigh. "Leg," he runs his tongue up Ewan's cock again, "dick... leg, dick... Not much different at all."

"'cept for you, of course," he adds.

Ewan stares at Jude for a moment, speechless, before collapsing back onto the bed and dissolving into a fit of giggles. "You..." is all he manages to get out between gasping breaths, but it doesn't matter, because he doesn't think Jude would appreciate being told he's cute. But he is. Cute and...earnest. Yeah, that's it. Cute and earnest, and Ewan can't stop laughing. It's not even that funny, it's just...nervous energy or something, though he's not sure why he should be nervous, after all, he's not the one who's never done this before.

"Sor...'m sorry," he says, finally calming.

"Huh." Jude can't say he's impressed. Here he is trying his best and, while his efforts no doubt leave a lot to be desired, there's no fucking reason Ewan should be laughing at him. Well... not really. He snorts ruefully.

"Look, if you've got any tips..." Jude growls, even though he is half smiling, "now is probably a good time to mention them."

"Look, I'm not laughing at you for that, it was just...never mind, all right?" Ewan sighs and smiles up at Jude. "Just do like I did, yeah? 's not hard, really."

"'s easy for you to say," Jude grumbles, under his breath. He frowns again, considering his options.

 _What do I like? What feels good when Ewan does it?_

Slowly he runs the circle of his thumb and forefinger up the shaft and follows his fingers with a firm lick. He tries to press as hard as he can, flattening his tongue against the silky skin. Again and again he licks, growing in confidence until he can actually swirl his head over the very tip of Ewan's cock.

That gets a bit of a reaction, Ewan jerking slightly underneath him. Jude glances up at Ewan through his eyelashes and smiles slightly. He swirls his tongue again, feeling how smooth and firm the head of Ewan's cock is and how the slit in the end makes a dip that invites a little probing lick. And that does taste different, sort of moist and musky and salty. Jude tries it out on his tongue, smacking his lips. He looks up at Ewan again.

"You taste all right."

"Good...thanks." Ewan grins, trying to remember if he was this tentative his first time. _No, definitely not._ He'd just gone for it. "Just...just keep that up then," he says as Jude bends down to lick the head again. Trying to be helpful, he adds, "You can use your hand, too, like. When you're sucking, yeah?"

Jude nods, wrapping his hand around the base of Ewan's cock. It makes it easier somehow, holding it more erect. Carefully he licks around the head again, finding Ewan pushing upwards gently, nudging against his lips.

 _Okay._

One last swirl around with his tongue and this time Jude doesn't pull away. He wants this, he really does. Wants to experience this strange sensation of sucking a cock into his mouth, feeling it nudging past his teeth, hitting the back of his throat far too soon. He gags slightly, pulling away. How does Ewan _do_ that?

But it's not as unpleasant as he feared. Again he pulls Ewan in, deep as he can and pulls back, his hand working in counterpoint. _Yes, he's doing it._ He's elated. He can even manage to slide his tongue around a bit next time he sucks Ewan down and at that he has to glance upwards again, checking Ewan's reaction.

Ewan's eyes are half-closed, and he watches Jude through his lashes. He moans, reaching down to tangle his fingers in Jude's hair. That was getting good; why'd he have to stop? "That's it...yeah." He bucks his hips slightly, urging Jude to continue. His tongue flicks over his bottom lip. "Don't stop."

 _Stop?_ Jude has no intention of stopping. He's got the hang of this now and, like everything he sets his mind to, he's determined to do it well. He hunches forward, getting a better angle and dives down again, taking Ewan even deeper. His hand tightens around the shaft, pulling firmly as he sucks.

Ewan is breathing harder now, his fingers moving rhythmically through Jude's hair. Jude wonders if there is anything else he should be doing. He's really enjoying the way Ewan is beginning to squirm and moan. Tentatively he grips Ewan's balls, squeezing them a little. Ewan moans again and spreads his legs on the bed, giving Jude all the access he needs.

 _It's fucking thrilling._ The noises Ewan is making, his little unconscious movements, his utter vulnerability. Jude loves it. He pushes a finger down behind Ewan's balls, seeking, sliding it between Ewan's cheeks and then, just as Ewan did for him, runs his fingertip around and around the hole until it naturally finds the centre. Almost before he knows it the very tip of his finger is pressing inside and Jude almost forgets to keep sucking. Almost.

"Ungh, fuck...Jude..." He's a fast learner, Ewan has to give him that, and for all his earlier hesitation, he seems eager enough now. Squirming, Ewan tries to push down on Jude's finger.

Jude just loves the way his name sounds on Ewan's lips, low and breathy and needy. He loves the way Ewan writhes, trying to get that finger in deeper. And really, it just seems to slide in of its own accord, pushing easily into the slick warm passage. Jude catches his breath, almost expecting to be repelled, but there's nothing revolting about it at all, just Ewan, pushing, trying to get more. He wonders idly if he should use two fingers because, after all, earlier on Ewan had another man's cock up there... and at that thought, of Ewan lying there gasping and moaning and bucking under someone else, a pang of hot and unexpected jealousy shoots through him and Jude redoubles his efforts, sucking harder, pushing two fingers inside Ewan, making him writhe and clutch his hair even tighter.

His mouth is getting tired now though and his jaw is beginning to ache. Jude pulls back, letting his hand take over for a bit as he nuzzles at Ewan's belly, looking up at him

"Give me fair warning, okay?" he murmurs softly, his tongue stealing a long lick up to Ewan's navel.

Ewan nods and grunts. Warning. Right. At Ewan's muttered "faster", Jude picks up his pace and Ewan moves with him, thrusting into his hand and then rocking back onto his fingers. God, it's just almost-but-not-quite there, until Jude's fingers brush over that spot and _oh, fuck_. "Close," he pants, pushing down. "D'that again...nngh, please..."

 _God, he's gorgeous like that._ Jude risks a last lick of Ewan's cock and then brushes his lips over Ewan's balls, feeling how tight they are underneath the skin. He bends his elbow, pushing in hard, because that makes Ewan gasp and pull his legs up, bearing down on his fingers. _I'm fucking Ewan with my fingers,_ he thinks to himself in amazement. Ewan's got to be nearly there because his eyes are screwed tightly closed and his head moves distractedly from side to side. Again and again Jude pushes forward with his fingers, pulls upward with his hand, push, pull, push, pull as Ewan pumps his hips and moans.

"I want to see you come," Jude whispers.

In a matter of seconds, Jude gets his wish. Hands twisting in the sheets, Ewan writhes, bucking up, his cock pulsing in Jude's hand as hot come paints his belly. "Fuck, Jude," he gasps. He sinks back onto the bed, feeling loose and boneless and utterly relaxed. "Mmm..."

"That was... brilliant," Jude breathes. Carefully he withdraws his fingers and examines them but there's no sign of anything dirty, just the faint glistening sheen of lube. "And highly educational," he adds, changing his tone of voice to one far more cheery and lighthearted. After all, Ewan would never let him live it down if he sounded too impressed by the whole business.

Sliding up the bed he snuggles up to Ewan happily. "Hey... thanks."

"Not bad for your first try," Ewan teases. Jude has his head on Ewan's chest, and Ewan unconsciously curls his arm around Jude's shoulders. It feels a bit weird, lying here like this. Comfortable, but...weird. Once he starts thinking about it, he has to force himself not to pull away. Clapping Jude on the back lightly, he grins. "Not bad at all once you got going there. You can practise your technique on me any time."

"Sure, teacher." Jude laughs. "Do I have to pass an exam at the end of the course?"

"Nah." Ewan grins. "Blowing the teacher gets you out of that sort of thing."

"Yeah well, it's a useful skill for an actor to have, I reckon. Never know when you might have to blow the director..." Jude laughs, still a little too pleased with himself to notice Ewan tensing. "But look, like I said, thanks for putting up with my ineptitude. I can only get better, right?"

"Yeah, and I'm sure there'll be no shortage of blokes willing to help you out there," Ewan replies, a little tightly. "Anyway, I've gotta piss." Extricating himself from Jude's embrace, he gets up and makes his way across the room, stooping to pick up his jeans on the way.

Stretching out comfortably, Jude thinks that maybe he should go to the bathroom too. Maybe after Ewan gets back. It's only when he hears the bathroom door open and the door to Ewan's bedroom close that he begins to suspect Ewan isn't coming back. He sits up and looks around. Ewan's jeans are gone.

With a sinking feeling, Jude swings himself out of bed and pads up the hallway. Ewan's door is firmly closed and there is no light coming through the gap below.

Right.

It was just sex after all. Nothing personal. No reason to get all cuddly afterwards and pretend it was anything more than just getting off. Still, Jude can't seem to shake the feeling of disappointment. Perhaps he did something wrong.

The light is still on in the bathroom. Jude takes his time. He makes plenty of noise too, flushing the toilet, washing his hands thoroughly, cleaning his teeth and all the while listening out for Ewan's door opening. Nothing. Eventually he just has to head back to his room and his empty bed.

Fine. Ewan can be like that if he wants. Angrily, Jude closes his door behind him and then reconsiders. He's being silly. Ewan can sleep wherever he damn well wants to and it's no skin off his nose. He opens his door again, just a crack, just in case and climbs into bed.

Even so, it's a while before Jude finally falls asleep, his arm curled around his pillow.


	4. Fantasy

They were supposed to go down the pub, hang out, get drunk. The usual. And the sort of not-so-usual, the new and exciting possibility of shagging once they'd left Jonny and stumbled back to the flat. But instead there's to be none of that. Instead, Jude's gone off with Jonny and Jonny's bird and some friend of hers. Ewan hopes she's ugly and won't put out. Would serve Jude right.

Still, none of that explains why he's home now. He should've gone out. He should've gone out and copped off with the first fuckable bloke he could find. Gone back to his - in Ewan's mind, it would be somewhere posh and modern and altogether different from here - and got shagged senseless. Absolutely no need for Jude, except maybe to brag to about his fantastic shag. Jude can stay out all night with the stupid bint for all he cares.

Shoving his jeans down over his hips, he lets them drop to the floor and then kicks them off, watching them hit the wall with a dull thunk and slide to the ground.

He could still go out, he thinks, flopping back on the bed, glaring up at the cracks in the ceiling. It's not late. Not too late, anyway. He could-

The thought trails off, lost in the fog that settles over his brain when he grasps his cock, hard already, and starts wanking. It's rough and fast, designed to get him off quickly - do not pass go; do not think about Jude - and it does. His toes curl in the blankets and he arches up, cries out, come spattering his t-shirt.

He rolls onto his side, breathing heavily, lies there staring at the wall through heavy-lidded eyes. Posters of U2 and R.E.M. and a collage of motorbikes blur together.

His breathing slows, eyelids drooping further, and when he wakes up, he can't tell if he's been asleep minutes or hours. Maybe not so long. He hasn't moved, anyway; his hand's still wrapped around his cock.

This time it's slow, eyes closed, lazy strokes until he's fully hard again, and this time he doesn't try not to think of Jude. He sucks two fingers into his mouth, twisting around to get them up his arse, and it's half his fantasy Jude and half the real, clumsy-but-earnest Jude he's thinking about.

His breathing, his half-choked-back moans, the occasional squeak of the bedsprings: everything sounds too loud in the empty flat. The bedroom door is open; if Jude were to come home now... If he were to come home now, he would stand there for a moment, eyes wide watching Ewan. He would cross the room and sit down on the bed, reach over and wrap his hand around Ewan's cock. It would be Jude's hand Ewan's thrusting into and Jude's fingers fucking him. He loses himself in the fantasy and it's almost a shock when he shudders and comes and there's no one there but himself.


	5. You Know You Want To

Ewan lies on his back in bed, the sheets tangled around his thighs as he strokes his cock almost absently, still more than half asleep. Every so often his hand stills as he falls into a deeper sleep for a while. It's Saturday and he's not in any hurry to get up.

It might be minutes later when he finally does wake up, or it might be hours; he can't really tell. His stomach feels hollow and his first thought is that he hopes there's something in the flat to eat. Maybe Jude will be up and making coffee.

He should take a shower first, though. _Take care of this,_ he thinks, as his fingers glide over his shaft again, an image of soft lips wrapped around his cock and green eyes looking up at him flitting through his mind. He shakes his head. It's been weeks and Jude hasn't approached him again, and Ewan's determined not to bring it up himself. Better not to think about it at all. Not that his subconscious listens to him anyway, considering the alarming frequency with which Jude has appeared in his dreams.

There's a sharp crack of plastic breaking when he slides out of bed and onto his feet. He blinks down at the pile of clothes on the floor; clothes don't normally crunch. He hopes whatever was underneath them wasn't that important.

Not bothering to get dressed - he's only going to get undressed again to shower, after all - he stumbles out of his room, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Mornings, Jude thinks, should come with the gentle twittering of birds, a soft morning glow through the window and a warm body in the bed beside him. Not with some moron exercising his car horn in the street below, harsh stabbing sunlight through the open curtains, an unpleasant taste in his mouth and an aching bladder. Groaning, he pads up the hallway towards the bathroom, stopping short when he almost collides with a naked, hairy Scotsman. Well, not that hairy although Ewan's still unshaven and dishevelled from sleep, but definitely, obviously, prominently naked.

 _Oh God, I'm staring at his cock._ Jude turns crimson, realising he still has his hand on Ewan's arm to avert the collision and has been frozen in place for several long seconds, his gaze fixed on Ewan's erection. He drops his hand as if burned and turns for the bathroom.

"Gotta piss," he mutters irritably. _If Ewan gets in there and into the shower first, he'll be there for hours._

"Sure, go 'head," Ewan says, following him into the bathroom. No reason why he should wait in the corridor; Jude's the one who said not to be weird, after all. Even if Jude is the one acting weird now. Jude had been staring at him and for a moment, Ewan thought... And then nothing. Jude had practically jumped backwards in his haste to get away.

Annoyed both with Jude and with himself for...getting his hopes up or whatever had happened, Ewan pushes past Jude and starts the water running, waiting impatiently for it to warm up before he gets in.

The sound of rushing water hisses in the background as Jude pisses. Almost immediately he is feeling better, more comfortable. He scratches himself idly and glances over at Ewan. Ewan has his hand in the stream of water, testing the temperature. He is still hard. Jude pulls his boxers back up, flushes the toilet and takes the two steps to the sink to wash his hands. He can see Ewan in the mirror, frowning as the water pressure fluctuates wildly. Ewan glances over at him, catching his eye. Jude smiles tightly. "Sorry, mate," he calls out. "Won't be long."

"You could always join me." Ewan straightens up and stretches, eyebrows raised and a faint smile playing around his lips. "I wouldn't complain," he adds as he steps into the shower.

He's not sure what made him say that when he was so sure he wouldn't be the one to make the first move, but there it is. _Take it or leave it._

Slowly Jude turns. Ewan has left the shower curtain open invitingly and is standing there, waiting for him, hands gliding over his body.

He could leave right now. Shrug and walk out the door. And that would be the end of it, probably. Jude's heart sinks. No, not like that. He doesn't want it, whatever it is, to end like that. He tears his eyes away from the way Ewan's hand is slowly moving over his cock and looks up at him. Ewan is looking back with that "You know you want me" smirk. _And fuck it, he's right._

Moving quickly, Jude skims out of his boxers, kicking them aside. Determined now, he steps into the shower. Ewan's smirk widens. Jude grabs him, pushes him against the tiles and grinds against him.

"All right," he mutters. "All right." Ewan's eyes widen and Jude leans in, wiping that smirk away with a wet kiss.

Ewan melts, feeling as if he would simply sink to the floor if Jude weren't pinning him to the cold wall. This is more like it. Fuck, this is perfect, and Ewan is two steps away from just begging Jude to fuck him. He slides his feet apart, thrusting against Jude's already hard cock as Jude's tongue thrusts into his mouth, twining with his own.

 _That'll show him._ Jude presses his hands against Ewan's chest, holding him in place as he rubs against him. Water is splashing on his shoulder, running in rivulets down their bodies and he skims his fingers over Ewan's water slick skin, down, down, following the stream to wrap firmly around Ewan's cock. Determinedly, Jude begins to stroke his hand up and down, the water providing enough lubrication for his hand to move smoothly. He breaks the kiss long enough to look Ewan in the eye, grin at him and then lean in hungrily for more.

Thrusting into Jude's hand, Ewan tangles his fingers in Jude's hair, kissing him fiercely. Fuck, this is good, but he wants...he wants... "Please, fu...suck me off," he moans, teeth scraping along Jude's jaw as one hand slides over his shoulder, urging him down.

"Yeah." Jude grins at him and slowly kneels, kissing his way down Ewan's chest and across his firm, flat belly. The water is cooler down here, pooling around his knees. Using his hand, he guides Ewan's cock between his lips, sucking it in. He's been wanting this, the solid weight of it in his mouth, the way his tongue curls round it lovingly and the slight ache in his jaw as he stretches his mouth wide. He looks up at Ewan, blinking away the water falling in his face, smiling around his cock. _Want this, want you_ , his eyes say.

"Nnnngh..." _God, but he catches on fast_ , Ewan thinks. He pushes his hair out of his eyes with one hand, his gaze locked on Jude's face, watching the way his cock glides between Jude's lips, taking in Jude's obvious enjoyment. His hand slides over Jude's head, his hair plastered to his skull by the pounding spray. "Jude..."

Kneeling up slightly, Jude can take even more of Ewan's length into his mouth. He can't manage it all, not without choking, and it's already hard enough to breathe with the water dripping down his face. He snuffles through his nose and pulls back slightly, using his hand to work Ewan's shaft. _There, that's good._ Jude settles into a comfortable rhythm, pleased with himself, pleased with Ewan's moaning reaction. His free hand steals down to play along his own cock, timing his own strokes to match Ewan's gentle thrusting. _That's even better._

Ewan lets his head loll back, enjoying the sensation of the warm water running over him and Jude's warm mouth around his cock. He's vaguely aware that the water will only be warm for so long, but it's so good like this. Slow and lazy. Looking down again, he's suddenly struck by the thought that Jude might've been going down on some other bloke like this these past few weeks. Maybe that's why he hasn't said anything.

A sick, twisty feeling settles in his gut and his fingers tighten in Jude's hair, nails digging into his scalp as he pulls Jude's head forward.

It's not so comfortable any more, with Ewan holding on to his head, thrusting in deeper than before. Jude is still sucking but a sudden moment of panic, the thought of Ewan pushing in further or worse, coming in his mouth, threatens to close his throat. He gasps, gagging and pulls back slightly, his hands digging into Ewan's thighs as he braces himself.

"Sorry," Ewan mumbles, loosening his grip and smoothing his hands over Jude's hair. He grins encouragingly and lets his legs slide even further apart, hoping Jude will take the hint.

"'s okay," Jude mumbles although his mouth is full. In truth he's a little ashamed of his panicky reaction, thinking he could do better and he redoubles his efforts, sinking Ewan's cock deeper into his mouth, one hand moving to cradle Ewan's balls. Glancing up again, he can see Ewan watching him, his mouth open and panting as the water streams down his chest.

Gliding a wet finger back between damp cheeks, Jude searches upwards until he finds the pucker of Ewan's entrance. His finger slides inside easily. Ewan pushes down and Jude tries to thrust his finger in deeper, back and forth, listening to Ewan moan.

Jude's lips and fingers are pushing Ewan inexorably towards orgasm. He can feel the pull in his balls, the way everything tightens up just before release, and _oh fuck!_ "Coming. Coming, Jude," he pants, pushing him away.

Quickly Jude pulls back and turns his head away. He can feel Ewan's body tensing, clenching around his probing finger and something warmer than the cooling shower water splashes on his cheek, on his neck and on his shoulder.

Sagging back against the wall as he catches his breath, Ewan notices the water is barely even room temperature anymore and getting colder. Eventually he reaches for the faucet and shuts it off. _Fucking hot water._

Jude is still on his knees, Ewan's come splattered over the side of his face and _Christ, that looks hot_. Ewan leans down and, taking Jude's chin in his hand, licks the side of his face clean, followed by his neck and shoulder.

Jude laughs. "So..." he says cheekily, squinting up at Ewan with one eye, "did I get the part?"

Grinning, Ewan says, "I dunno...I might have to see you for callbacks."

"Fucking bastard..." Jude says amiably. "And besides... I dunno if I want to work with you yet, you know? I think it's your turn to convince me."

He stands, touching Ewan gently on the shoulder and chest as Ewan straightens with him, bringing his hand up to cup Ewan's cheek and pull him around for a kiss. They bump elbows, knees banging together awkwardly but Jude can feel a soft caress on his back, moving down to his arse and, more urgent than anything, his hot erection nudging against Ewan's hip.

"Let's get out of here," he murmurs, feeling far too enclosed in the shower space. He slides his hand down to Ewan's elbow and tugs. "Come back to my room."

 _Like I'm going to say no to that?_ "Right." Ewan pushes back the shower curtain and steps out, grabbing a towel and drying himself off. He tosses it to Jude when he's finished and leans back against the wall, his arms crossed and one hip canted.

"And what are we going to do in your room, eh?" he teases.

"Rehearse..." Jude says, chuckling as he dries himself off. Soaping up his fingers, he rinses his hands in the sink. He looks at Ewan then, propped casually against the wall, and his face falls a little. "I thought... You don't have to, you know."

"But if you want..." he puts his hands on his hips and imitates Ewan's canted stance, "you can suck my cock. I won't even charge."

"Oh, I want." Ewan smirks. "I was just making sure there wasn't anything else..." And with that, he turns and makes his way out of the bathroom.

In Jude's room, he throws himself down on the bed, his wet hair soaking the pillowcase. He turns on his side, his back to the door. This has certainly been an interesting morning. _And so far not weird at all_ , he thinks, deliberately ignoring his earlier surge of jealousy.

Jude pads in close behind him. At least Ewan seems enthusiastic... well, of course he is, it's just that Jude had a moment of uncertainly there. He has to grin. Ewan has managed to take up almost all of the double bed all by himself. Far more carefully, Jude climbs onto the bed behind Ewan and aligns himself behind him, not touching yet. Lying down like this, they are almost the same length and build and Jude wonders if this is what he looks like from behind. Fascinating. Reaching out, he places a hand right in the middle of Ewan's back, spreading the fingers. Slowly he draws the fingers down, pressing either side of the long spine, and then up, over a hip and then down again to cup Ewan's arse. Different.

"Mmm..." That feels nice. On the one hand, Ewan wonders if he should roll over and get down to business; it's his turn, after all. On the other hand...he's curious to see what Jude will do if he just stays as he is.

Curiosity wins out.

Shuffling a little closer, Jude presses his lips to Ewan's shoulder blade. The freckled skin smells... of very little really. Freshly washed, but without soap, Ewan just tastes Ewanish. Again Jude slides his hand down and this time his fingertips slide into the cleft of Ewan's arse. He rubs them slowly up and down, exploring this hidden area. Perhaps he should pull Ewan round to kiss him, to go down on him like he expected but Ewan shifts, sliding a knee up to give him even greater access. Jude has a good idea of what Ewan wants. He just isn't sure he can. Isn't sure what to do. Isn't sure he even wants to but... he brings his index finger to his mouth, wets it thoroughly and then, sliding his hand back between Ewan's cheeks, pushes it inside him.

Ewan moans and pulls his knee up even further as he presses back onto Jude's finger. "Yeah...fuck me..." He twists around, looking over his shoulder, and gives Jude his best seductive look. "You know you want to," he adds with a smirk.

 _Fuck him._

 _Yes._

Oh yes, he wants to. His cock is hard, even harder at Ewan's words. Jude shifts closer so that his chin scrapes along Ewan's shoulder and he kisses Ewan's neck softly. "Yeah," he whispers, his breath barely brushing over Ewan's ear. "Yeah, I want to."

It's a hard admission to make, even to himself. Words dredged from his nighttime fantasies, words he'd only imagined ever uttering while hidden in darkness, late some drunken evening, now spilling softly from his lips on a sunlit bed. "I want to fuck you."

Pushing his finger in as far as he can reach, Jude can't imagine what it would feel like to be encased in that tight heat. Impossible. His body lies close alongside Ewan's back, skin against skin. His mouth is too dry and his lips too rough and the sound of his breathing is too loud, too harsh in his ears. "Only..." his voice wavers, another bubble of uncertainty welling up, "I don't know how. Please..."

Twisting around so that he can kiss Jude, Ewan tries to reassure him. "'s not so different, really. I, unngh," he writhes as Jude continues to fuck him steadily with his finger, "I've got lube... 's on the nightstand, or maybe the floor by the bed." He's still twisted around, tangling his fingers in Jude's hair as he kisses him again, nipping sharply at his lower lip. "You wanna go get it or should I?"

"Oh God, I don't know..." Jude pulls his hand away and flops backwards. "Yeah, sure. You get it. I'll just sit here and..."

"We should have gone to your room," he adds miserably.

Scrambling up, Ewan grins down at him. "We can, if you want. C'mon, then."

Without waiting for Jude's answer, he hurries to his room, frowning when he sees that the only thing on the nightstand other than the lamp is a couple paperback books. A quick search through the drawer produces johnnies, a whole handful of them, but no lube. He doesn't want Jude to change his mind, something he's convinced will happen if he doesn't hurry and find something. Dropping down to his knees, he pushes aside a pile of clothes and pokes around under the bed.

Jude peers in carefully. He doesn't often go in Ewan's room so he's curious. He's greeted by the sight of Ewan's backside pointed towards the doorway as Ewan pokes around for something. Jude shakes his head. He's beginning to think that this whole thing has turned into an epic performance instead of the quick blowjob he'd anticipated. Then again, he hadn't really been thinking of fucking. Of fucking Ewan up the arse. God. He leans against the door jamb looking down. Ewan does have a nice arse though. Jude gulps and pushes away from the door post. He _has_ been thinking about it; when he's lying alone in his bed, his hands busy and his mind wandering, Ewan has been cropping up all too frequently. And he's let those thoughts come, played the images over and over in his mind, embellished them and expanded on them until thoughts of fucking Ewan are his jerk off fantasy of choice. Only now that it comes right down to it, he's nervous. He's _afraid_. His palms are sweaty and he's beginning to lose his erection again.

 _It's so confusing._ Jude sighs and runs a hand through his damp hair. It's so much easier not to think about it. When Ewan is kissing him or holding him or even just looking at him and smiling the way Ewan does, he doesn't have to think at all and it's the easiest thing in the world. He has to make up his mind right now or nervous panic is going to send him dashing back to his own room. Either he wants it or he doesn't. Fuck. Of course he wants it. He just doesn't want to have to think about it.

Taking a deep breath Jude pushes past Ewan's feet and into the cramped room. It's a mess and his feet bump against clothes and books as he makes his way to the bed and hops onto it. "Come on, mate," he says, settling himself on his back with his arms folded behind his head. "We don't have to..."

Ewan's hand closes around something that's either the lube or a smallish tube of toothpaste, and he can't imagine why he'd have toothpaste under the bed, though he can't rule out the possibility. Sitting back on his heels, he takes a look at it. Yes, that's...not the one he was looking for, but it'll do. Possibly left here by a previous shag? Not exactly the size you carry around in your pocket, though. Huh.

Suddenly his head snaps up and he frowns as Jude's words finally sink in. "Don't have to what?" Definitely not the words he wants to hear. He crawls up next to Jude and bends over him. "What?"

"Nothing," Jude says, sliding his arm around Ewan's waist and pulling him closer. "Just nervous, you know?"

And that's better. Touching. Physical contact. Legs twining up around his own and a warm body in his arms. Even if they don't get round to the actual fucking, Jude would be happy simply to get off like this. "I just meant we don't have to fuck right now. You've already... uh..." Jude gestures vaguely at Ewan's groin, "you're done, I mean." He takes a deep breath. They don't have to do it now. It can wait. "I want to. I really do. Only I don't want to just shag you if you're not going to get anything out of it."

Ewan hesitates. He could just go down on Jude now, jerk him off, not push it. That would make this _his_ decision, and then it wouldn't be so bad, not quite so bad as Jude coming right out and saying he doesn't want to fuck Ewan, which is where it feels like this is going right now.

"Hell, it's gonna feel good either way," he says, but his voice is lacking a bit of its earlier enthusiasm. Grabbing Jude's hand, he wraps it around his cock. "Besides," he grins, feeling it beginning to swell in Jude's grip, "I could go again."

"But," he opens the lube, squeezing some into his palm, "we could always just do this." Reaching down between them, he grasps Jude's cock, his slick hand gliding smoothly up and down the shaft as he leans down, teeth and tongue playing at Jude's nipples.

 _Oh, that's good._ Jude can feel himself firming again, nicely hard as he thrusts into the silky hand. Ewan's mouth is hot and wet on his body and he can feel Ewan himself responding, his cock filling out as he strokes it. So much for his last objection.

"Here, give me some of that," he says, pulling his hand away and holding it out for the lube.

"Mmm?" Looking up, Ewan blinks slowly. The lube is on the blanket beside him, cap still off. He hands it over and turns his attention back to Jude's chest.

 _Damn, this stuff is fiddly._ Jude fumbles with the tube irritably, grateful he doesn't normally have to bother with such things. Slicking his hand, he grasps Ewan's cock again, the fingers now sliding easily over the firm length. Ewan murmurs something encouraging and Jude lifts his free hand to stroke his hair. He should say something. Because that hand on his cock and that mouth on his nipples are so good - pushing him to a point where fucking or not fucking is immaterial - because, _Oh God_ , he's going to come soon anyway.

He moans. "Ewan..."

 _Oh God, yeah, say my name like that..._ Still pulling on Jude's cock, his fingers twisting around the head on each upstroke, Ewan gives one last sharp tugging bite to the swollen nipple he'd been sucking on and leans up to crush his lips to Jude's.

It feels like he's been hard forever. All morning, ever since he stepped into the bathroom, just waiting for this building tension in his groin, his balls tightening. Jude whimpers into Ewan's mouth, holding him tightly.

"So close, Ewan," he gasps. "So close, I'm... sorry, I'm... ohhh." And then with a strangled moan he comes, clinging to Ewan's shoulder, his hand tightening on Ewan's cock in a vice-like grip. "Ohhhh."

 _So tight. Fuck...so good._ Jude's fingers on his cock are crushing, even as his own grip loosens, his hand skidding up Jude's belly, smearing come across sweat-damp skin. He keeps thrusting into the almost too tight channel of Jude's hand, and then even as Jude is still gasping and shuddering from his own orgasm, Ewan is biting down hard on his shoulder and coming, too.

He collapses against Jude, breathing heavily. "Fuck, Jude..." he says hoarsely. "Need another shower now..."

"Yeah... yeah." Jude stares absently at the ceiling. "Shower... in cold fucking water." He chuckles, still giddy, but he's coming down quickly. He has said things to Ewan, things he would only say in the heat of passion, things he almost regrets saying. He groans internally. Ewan knows now. Jude looks over at Ewan's flushed and sweaty face, damp hair clinging to his forehead and he feels the sudden urge to brush the hair away and kiss him there. He settles for squeezing him a little.

 _Ewan knows I want to fuck him._

Suddenly that doesn't seem so bad. Maybe next time. Some time not so far away. And this time, Jude will be ready.

He sits up in bed, rolling Ewan away from him. "All right. But this time, I'm first."

"Go on, then." Ewan pokes him with his toe. Reaching down between the bed and the wall, he feels around for the box of tissues he knows should be there somewhere. Somewhere... With an annoyed huff, he rolls over and looks down. There they are. Why couldn't he reach them before? He grabs a couple and scrubs off his belly and his greasy hand and his dick and, God, there's lube on his thigh, too?

"Ugh." He tosses the tissues aside and gives up in disgust. "Here, I'll join you," he calls after Jude, who is already out the door and heading for the bathroom. Smacking him on the arse as he bounds past, Ewan grins and adds, "No funny stuff this time, though, or we'll be here all day."

"Ow..." Jude shakes his head and rubs his stinging backside, following Ewan into the bathroom. "All day? I think you're boasting, McGregor... All right. You can share my shower." He grins. "Just as long as you don't start singing."


	6. A Double Celebration

"Hey!" Jude calls out excitedly, almost falling through the front door. "Hey Ewan! Guess what?!" He toes the front door closed behind him and heads for the kitchen. It's a mess, as ever, and he shoves a few things aside to make way for his shopping bags. "I got the part! And, despite your dire predictions, I didn't even have to blow the director!" He laughs and looks around. "Ewan? Where are you? We have to celebrate!"

"Hang on..." Ewan finishes pissing and flushes the toilet. Sticking his hands under the tap briefly, he starts to dry them on his jeans and then stops. Right. Leather. Not good for drying. Wiping them on a towel instead, he gives himself a quick once over in the mirror, combing his fingers through his hair. "What's this about celebrating, then?" he asks, joining Jude in the kitchen.

"I went to Sainsbury's on the way home," Jude says, grinning. He reaches into one of the carrier bags and pulls out a bottle of champagne. "Ta da! Look! The real stuff. Moet et Chandon. I even bought glasses..." He turns to show off the bottle and for the first time catches sight of Ewan, taking in his appearance. Leather trousers and an indecently tight t-shirt. Jude's face falls. "Oh..." he says, disappointed. "You're going out."

"Oh, well I was, yeah, but it's not like the end of the world if I don't." Ewan grins, taking the bottle from Jude's hand. "After all, what was I going out for but drinking and sex, and if you're going to provide the drinks for free..." he trails off, raising his eyebrows at Jude and letting the implication sink in. After a moment he looks away, putting the bottle down on the table and poking around in the other bag. "Let me see these glasses then."

"Men don't make passes at blokes who buy glasses..." Jude says with a wink. He pulls a cardboard package out of the second carrier bag and starts peeling it open. "I wasn't sure we had anything except tumblers and so I got these... flutes instead of the bowly type champagne glasses. They spill too much and only girls can carry them around and still look dignified." He grins. "Look, if you really want to go out, don't let me stop you. I could... I could come with you. Make a real night of it."

"D'you want to?" The thought of Jude out at the club with him gives Ewan a weird feeling he can't quite put his finger on, or maybe it's several feelings all at once. He can't deny he'd like to see Jude out there, dressed up and dancing, but the thought that Jude might end up copping off with someone other than himself, well, he doesn't want to think about that at all. "I mean we can, sure, if you want. Here, pour us a glass, then," he says, taking one of the flutes and holding it out.

"All right... let's see if I remember how to do this." Jude picks up the bottle and peels away the foil, twisting the wire away quickly. "I'm not going to shake it up and waste good champagne," he says, frowning. Carefully he grips the cork, covering it with his palm to stop it from flying off under pressure, and slowly eases it from the bottle. There is a satisfying hiss as the air escapes and then, quite suddenly, foaming champagne is rushing up the neck of the bottle and spilling over his fingers. "Oh! Oh! Fuck!" Jude tilts the bottle, trying to get as much champagne into Ewan's glass as possible but there's still a few splashes over Ewan's hands and shirt before the bubbling subsides and Jude can right the bottle again. "Oh dear," he says ruefully. "It must have got a bit shaken up on the way home..."

Frowning, Ewan glances down at his shirt. It's a dark red, so once the spots dry - and there really are only a few small spatters - they shouldn't show. He might smell like champagne, but who's going to notice at the club anyway? "'s all right." He grabs a couple napkins off the counter and wipes his hands off before picking up a glass for Jude and holding it out to be filled. He grins. "At least it didn't go all over the room."

"Waste of good booze," Jude mutters, but when he starts to pour he finds that, thankfully, the bottle is still almost full. He puts the bottle in the fridge and then takes his glass from Ewan's hand. "Cheers," he says, tapping the glass against Ewan's so that it rings tinnily. "To getting the part!" He lifts his glass to toast his success and then takes a sip. "God. I could get used to this..."

"Congratulations. You deserve it." Ewan takes a sip and leans in to kiss Jude. It's nothing really, just his lips on Jude's for no more than a few seconds, but he suddenly feels odd, like he shouldn't have done so. Quickly gulping down another mouthful, he jokes, "And no blowjobs involved, really?"

"Well not yet, anyway." Jude rubs absently at his lips. That was nice. Unexpected, but nice. He grins. "It was weird," he says, wandering into the sitting room, still talking as Ewan follows him. "Final audition and all that and I had this weird feeling that they were a bit bored, like they weren't really paying attention. Like they'd already made up their minds. So, there I was..." he sits on the sofa and pats the seat next to him, "doing my speeches and all and I'm thinking that maybe I'm wasting my time. And then at the end, I go up to the table and..." He grins and takes a sip of his champagne. "Well, then they were all 'Thank you very much, Mr. Law, we'll be in touch' and they were grinning and shaking my hand and I didn't know what to think."

Settling back in his seat, Jude kicks off his shoes and puts his feet up on the table. "So I said, right out, 'Well, have I got it?' and the producer grins and nods and said everything was all hunky dory... I walked out on air and then went to my agent's to hang around and... they rang up half an hour later and said I'd got it and would I turn up on Monday for a first read through, please."

He grins and punches the air in triumph. "So yeah... I got it!"

"Brilliant. That's really fantastic." Noticing his glass is empty, Ewan holds it up and asks, "Shall I get the bottle then, or are we going out?"

"Oh yeah... get the bottle..." Jude drains his glass and waves it at Ewan. "No point in letting it go flat now...."

"Right." Ewan grins and sets his glass on the coffee table. Off come his boots and socks, and he shoves them under the table with one foot before getting up to fetch the rest of the champagne.

When he comes back, he pours Jude another glass and then refills his own. Still holding the bottle in one hand as he sits down, he says, "This stuff's pretty good."

"Should be. It wasn't cheap." Jude lifts his glass to his lips and then has a second thought. Sliding a hand along the back of the sofa he leans over and clinks his glass against Ewan's again. "And here's to your next job too. You're a man very much in demand... everyone wants you." Smiling over his glass, Jude takes a sip.

Do they now?" Downing the contents of his glass in one swallow, Ewan sets aside both his glass and the bottle. " _Everyone_?" When he kisses Jude this time, it's not just a chaste brush of lips against lips. His tongue glides over Jude's lower lip, tasting champagne that seems to have a different flavour from that in his own mouth. Then Jude's lips part, and Ewan's tongue is darting inside, his hand resting lightly on Jude's thigh, thumb rubbing circles on the fabric.

"Everyone," Jude breathes, his arm sliding around Ewan's shoulders and pulling him closer. His glass hangs forgotten in mid air, only his nerveless fingers keeping it from crashing to the floor. Ewan's kiss is sweet and welcome, promising more. "And if they don't, they should..."

Breaking the kiss, Jude drains his glass and deposits it on the table. Turning back to Ewan he smiles, and his arm comes up hesitantly to touch Ewan's face as he leans in again for another kiss. "I have excellent taste."

Fuck if Jude doesn't have a sexy voice, and Ewan is hard from it, from hearing Jude say that. Leaving a wet trail along Jude's jaw, he nips his earlobe and murmurs, "And you, then... What do you want to do with me?"

 _Fuck. Fuck._ Jude squirms uncomfortably in his seat, his knee bent at an awkward angle, his trousers too tight. This is moving a little too fast again, even though this is almost exactly what he had in mind the moment he decided to buy the champagne. What more perfect end to a celebration than a good shag with a good mate. But fuck... "Christ, Ewan," Jude snorts, mostly amused. "Just let me get a little more dutch courage in me before I actually proposition you."

Ewan freezes for a split second, annoyed at the implication that Jude still needs to be drunk to sleep with him. _Well, fine then._ Reaching for the champagne, he squirms around so that he's straddling Jude's lap and takes a drink directly from the bottle. Holding the liquid in his mouth, he laces his fingers in Jude's hair and pulls his head forward for a kiss. The champagne trickles slowly onto Jude's lips and then, when they part, into his mouth.

Melting under the soft liquid kiss, Jude closes his eyes and swirls his tongue around Ewan's, tasting, pushing into his mouth. He slides his hands under Ewan's shirt, lifting it up, gripping his back and pulling him closer so that he can gently thrust up against Ewan's groin. As the kiss breaks, Jude swallows greedily and smiles up at the grinning man on his lap. "More," he commands, rocking his hips upwards to emphasise his demand.

After first swallowing some himself, Ewan shares another mouthful of the champagne, and another, his free hand working to unbutton Jude's shirt. And so it goes: one for him and one for Jude, until the bottle is nearly empty. The last mouthful he lets spill down Jude's chin and over his chest, eagerly lapping up the champagne as soon as it touches his skin, the empty bottle dropping from his fingers onto the sofa and rolling onto the floor. He pays it no mind.

"Glasses," Jude murmurs, lacing his fingers through Ewan's hair, "are very much overrated." He lies back to let Ewan strip him of his shirt and smiles up him, lazy, relaxed and happy. "All champagne should be drunk from a lover's lips or not at all."

"Mmm," Ewan agrees, tongue flicking out to tease a nipple. He sucks it into his mouth as it hardens, nipping sharply at it as he fumbles with Jude's belt and then his fly, finally getting his trousers open and freeing his straining erection. It's hot and thick in his hand and he moans, thinking of how it would feel driving into him. "Still no proposition?"

Jude moans softly, thrusting up into Ewan's hand. For a moment the thought of just blowing Ewan, getting blown in return, flits through his mind. Right now he just wants to get off because just feeling his cock encased in a strong firm hand not his own is driving him to distraction. But it could be... even better. Reaching down, Jude hooks his fingers under the hem of Ewan's shirt and pulls it off over his head. Ewan emerges, grinning, and immediately reaches for Jude's cock again but, tossing the shirt aside, Jude stops him, grabbing his arms. Slowly, staring up at him, Jude pulls Ewan down towards him and wraps his arms around him, holding him. "Ewan..." he says softly. Ewan's soft hair brushes against his cheek and Ewan's ear is just inches from his own lips. Even so, Jude drops his voice to a mere breath of sound. "Ewan... I want to fuck you."

"Fuck yeah." Scrambling to his feet, Ewan digs around in his pocket, triumphantly producing a small tube of lube and a couple condoms. There'll be no frantic searching through his room for supplies this time. Grinning, he says, "Was going out, right? Gotta be prepared."

"Right. Great." Jude straightens up and stands, a hand absently caressing his dick. No backing out now. "Your place or mine?" he says, grinning nervously.

Ewan briefly considers his own room, but there's practically the entire contents of his wardrobe on the bed and Jude's is sure to be tidier and thus require less time between arriving in the bedroom and actually being able to get down to the fucking.

"Yours," he says, smirking. As he turns and makes his way to Jude's room, he lets his hips sway loosely, knowing he looks good in these leather trousers and wanting Jude to watch, to want him.

Following Ewan closely, Jude can't stop staring at his arse. He licks lips suddenly gone dry, tasting champagne. If Ewan walks like that when he's on the prowl, all masculine grace and sexual energy, it's no wonder he can pick up so many men so easily. As Ewan stalks ahead of him into his room and turns, posing a little, Jude grins, "Nice pants, McGregor," and reaches for him.

"Ta." Ewan grins back, stepping into Jude's embrace. Their lips meet hungrily, and Ewan cups Jude's arse with one hand, the hand that's not clutching the lube and condoms, making sure they don't get lost somewhere along the way. He rolls his hips, letting Jude feel the glide of the leather against his bare cock.

"Oh yeah..." Jude sighs against Ewan's jaw. He clings to Ewan, thrusting against him, his eyes closed. "Oh... want to fuck you. You..." He turns his head again, searching out Ewan's lips with an open eager mouth, thrusting inside with his tongue. His hands are kneading Ewan's arse, firm muscle through slick leather and he lifts Ewan slightly, taking that last step towards the bed and tipping them both over on top of it. Straddling Ewan, Jude keeps kissing him, thrusting against him while his hands push his trousers down.

Dropping the supplies onto the bed next to them, Ewan helps Jude with his trousers for all of two seconds before deciding he's better off letting Jude deal with that while he works on his own. He slithers out of them quickly, wanting to feel skin on skin. And there it is, both of them naked and writhing together, all legs and arms and jerking hips. "Want you," he mumbles, tugging on Jude's lip with his teeth. "Fuck me."

"All right, all right," Jude says, eager and determined. He grinds his cock against Ewan's hip again because it feels so good and because he can. "Show me how..." He reaches for the lube. "Just tell me where to start."

"All right, here, look." Pushing Jude off him so he can sit up, Ewan takes the lube and squeezes some out on Jude's fingers. "You can't have too much, really, so you can add more if you want." Grinning, he rolls onto his stomach, pulling his knees up under him and wiggling his arse. "Sometimes I like it a bit rough, but the more you use, the easier it'll be."

Kneeling behind Ewan, Jude slides a finger down between Ewan's cheeks to find the entrance. Hesitantly, he pushes just his fingertip inside. "Does it hurt?" he asks, curious. "It seems so... small."

"Nah, doesn't hurt. Feels good." Ewan presses back onto Jude's finger and looks over his shoulder with a wicked grin. "It'll feel even better when it's your cock stretching me wide whilst you fuck me hard." His cock jumps just thinking about it and he moans softly, his eyes closing. "Fuck yeah, that'll feel good."

Pushing his finger in, Jude wiggles it around a bit, like he thinks maybe he's supposed to. Inside, beyond the corrugated ring of muscle, it feels warm and moist and very smooth. Pulling out, Jude examines his finger briefly. It seems clean enough but he wouldn't like to lick it, he thinks. Not now he knows where it's been. But it's easy enough to add a whole load more lube and push two fingers inside. Ewan shifts slightly and Jude bites his lip. He might not be doing this right, but surely Ewan would tell him.

"That's good," Ewan says encouragingly. He's never had to do this before, to try and explain what to do. Maybe he should have offered to fuck Jude first and then he could have just said to do as he did. Anyway, he doubts Jude would go for that, so what does it matter? He squirms, pushing back on Jude's fingers. This part is awkward, but Jude's proved to be a quick study with blowjobs, so Ewan is optimistic. "Here, try just sort of curling your fingers a bit when you're doing that..."

"Yeah?" Jude frowns and then slicks his fingers up with yet more lube. Well, Ewan had said you couldn't use too much. It all seems strangely mechanical and a whole lot of bother just for a shag. He tries again, this time crooking his fingers just as he buries them up to the knuckle. "Like that?"

"Oh God yeah, yes, like that," Ewan babbles, his fingers clenching in the blanket. "Right there, nnngh," he grunts as Jude does it again.

Jude grins. Ewan's obviously enjoying it so he must be doing okay. More enthusiastically he works his fingers back and forth, trying to make Ewan squirm again.

"Okay, okay, okay..." Realising he sounds like a broken record, but somehow unable to connect that first word to the rest of the sentence, Ewan continues to rock back on Jude's fingers. Taking a deep breath, he tries again. "Okay...enough. Enough, just fuck me, _please_ , it's driving me crazy."

"My cock's a bit bigger than that, Ewan..." Jude says uncertainly. Nevertheless he reaches for the condom and starts ripping away the wrapper with his teeth. "Are you... sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," Ewan snaps impatiently and immediately regrets it. In what he hopes sounds like a more patient, understanding tone, he adds, "Look, it'll...stretch. It'll be good, I promise. I _have_ done this before, you know." He smiles reassuringly. "You can put some lube on your cock, too."

"Huh?" Jude looks puzzled. He has the condom ready to roll on but he stops and reaches for the lube, trying to figure out the mechanics of it all. "Oh... after the condom you mean..." He laughs nervously. "Fucking things are hard enough to get on without having to struggle with a slippery dick. You'd think by now they'd have invented something more convenient..." He's babbling. He knows he's babbling. _Shut up, Jude._ Rolling the condom down over his cock - at least he knows how to do that - he slicks himself with a little more lube and positions himself right up behind Ewan. Ewan is waiting, peering over his shoulder at him. This is it. This is fucking it. Jude takes a deep breath and, using one hand to steady himself, presses his cock up against the entrance to Ewan's body. "Oh God..." he murmurs, frozen. "Oh God..."

 _Nonono, don't stop now!_ "Please, Jude, c'mon," Ewan mutters, and when Jude still doesn't move, he rocks backwards, his mouth falling open as the head of Jude's cock slides in. "Fuuuck," he breathes, pressing back a little more. "Tha's it, yeah."

It's going in... right inside Ewan's body. Jude watches in fascination. His dick is gripped so tightly and yet, as he slowly begins to push forward, it slides in smoothly. He gasps and then pushes in hard, as far as he can and - _ohgodohgodohgod_ \- it's so fucking good and tight and warm and Ewan is crying out something but Jude can only cling onto Ewan's hips and stare down at his body, joined so intimately with Ewan's.

"Oh God...! I'm inside you, Ewan..." His voice sounds shocked, disbelieving. But isn't this what he's been trying to imagine for weeks now? It's better than that, better than any fantasy he can spin because it's real and it's happening now and _fuckfuckfuck_ it's incredible.

"Yeah, I'm aware of thannnggh God!" Ewan reaches down with one hand to grasp his cock, the head already wet with pre-come, and starts jerking himself off slowly. Oh, this is good. Jude is fucking him, actually really for real fucking him. Well, right now he's still just kneeling there stunned and not moving, and if it didn't feel so damn good, Ewan would say something sarcastic maybe. Something about it not really being _that_ different from fucking a girl, so would Jude just get over it already and hurry up and fuck him? But instead he just moans, " _Please_ , Jude."

"All right..." Jude's fingers tighten on Ewan's hips and he pushes in again. "Yeah... fuck." The motion is familiar, even if the broad back beneath him is not... well not in _this_ way anyway. And now the rush of taking that step is coursing through him; he's doing it, actually fucking Ewan, slamming in and easing out before shoving forward again, and again. Ewan is pushing back against him, their bodies slapping together and Jude finally settles into a comfortable, pleasurable rhythm.

Ewan rocks with him, not thinking of anything but the way Jude's cock feels, hard and thick, pounding into him as he pulls himself off. He's not going to last much longer. The tension is building, his balls pulling up tightly as his hand moves faster and faster and _oh God, there_. "Unngh!" He bites his lip hard, his whole body convulsing as Jude thrusts in again.

"Fuck..." Seeing Ewan come, _feeling_ Ewan coming beneath him is the final push over the brink for Jude. A final few thrusts as the orgasm hits him and he comes, groaning, right after Ewan. "Ohhhh... fuck."

"Yeah..." Ewan grins, still a little out of breath himself. "Good, eh?"

Jude nods wordlessly and then, realising Ewan can't see him, murmurs, "Yeah." He's a little shaky so he slides his hand down to hold the condom and pulls out, flopping on the bed next to Ewan. Rolling to face him he smiles wryly. "I suppose you're going to tell me you told me so, now."

Straightening his legs and turning half on his side, Ewan laughs and says, "Now would I say something like that?"

Laughing, Jude shakes his head. "Nooooo... it would be completely uncharacteristic of you." Staring down and frowning, Jude eases the condom off, ties a knot in it and leans over to put it carefully on the bedside table. Lying back, he makes himself comfortable and looks over at Ewan. "So yeah... not bad." He's itching to reach out, to sling an arm round Ewan's neck and pull him closer but he doesn't want to presume. They've ended up in bed a few times now, just for casual blowjobs and the like, and apart from that very first time, Ewan has never stuck around long afterwards. Jude settles for ruffling Ewan's hair. "And I don't want to hear an in depth criticism of my technique, either. I'm a beginner, okay?"

"Mmm..." Sighing contentedly, Ewan inches closer, enjoying that lazy, achy, well fucked feeling you get with a good shag. "No, you were good...once you got the hang of it." He grins. "You just need more practise."

"You volunteering to help me out there?" Jude grins, and now he can't resist it any longer. He scoots up closer to Ewan and worms a hand under his body, pulling them together. "How noble of you," he says, sliding his arms around Ewan and squeezing him.

"You have someone else in mind?" Ewan says jokingly. The idea sort of bothers him in the same way the idea of Jude copping off with someone else at the club was bothering him earlier. And it's strange, because Jude does go out, and there've been girls come round the house and that sort of thing, and Jude must have slept with some of them at least. Maybe not all, because birds don't always go for one night stands and that sort of thing. But seeing him with them, or hearing about them, that doesn't give him the same sort of weird feeling that the thought of Jude shagging another bloke does. He shrugs it off, not wanting to think about it anymore.

This is nice, though. Lying in Jude's arms. He relaxes, just now realising that he'd tensed up a bit when Jude had drawn him close. Maybe he'll stay here for a little while.

"Nah, not really," Jude says, sleepily. It's still early and he's not even tired, really, but he's enjoying just lying there, Ewan's solid weight on his arm and shoulder and the way he smells, sweaty and sexy. He rolls his head a little so that his cheek rests against Ewan's hair, ticklish and soft. Absently he kisses the hair, his lips find their way to Ewan's ear and nibbling on it gently, not really thinking about anything in particular, just how contented he feels right now. There are some niggling thoughts, some questions he's been meaning to ask, but he doesn't want to spoil this moment.

 _Good_ , Ewan wants to say, but he stops himself just in time. That's a stupid thing to say. Why should he care if Jude wants to shag someone else? Instead he just makes a small happy noise in the back of his throat and lets Jude kiss him again.

Even though he's enjoying himself, he starts fidgeting a few minutes later and eventually sits up, extracting himself from Jude's embrace. "I'm gonna go piss," he says, standing and stretching before padding off to the bathroom without a backward glance.

"Fine," Jude says flatly, "go ahead." He sighs. It's probably time for Ewan to do his usual disappearing act. Which is fair enough. Ewan's had his shag. No need to hang around like it was anything more than that. Rolling onto his back, Jude pillows his head on his arms and stares up at the ceiling. Oddly enough he's not even sleepy anymore. A quick glance at the alarm clock shows it is still quite early. Probably early enough for Ewan to get dressed again, go out to the clubs and the bars and find someone else to fuck or to fuck him. Someone who will do it properly. Not like his own fumbling, amateur effort.

Sighing again, Jude rolls on his side and curls his arm around his pillow. He doesn't quite know why he's at all bothered. He shouldn't be. After all, he's got the part and he's got laid. What more could a guy want? But the strange itchy feeling that something is missing won't quite go away. He punches the pillow again and sits up. _I know..._ Perhaps if he's quick enough he can catch Ewan before he leaves, go out with him and find out what the all the fuss is about. _Yeah._ Maybe he can find some... one - his mind quickly skates over the thought of trying to pick another bloke up - at one of Ewan's clubs and practice his new found skills on... him. The idea doesn't really appeal that much but he's sure that with a bit more alcohol in him, he'd find it more attractive. Sliding quickly out of bed, Jude pads out into the hallway to find Ewan.

After pissing, Ewan stands at the sink, hands stuck absently under the running tap as he tries to decide what to do next. He could go back to his room and, well, not sleep, he's not really tired at all and he's pretty sure it's not anywhere near the time he usually goes to bed. He could read. Or he could watch television in the front room, or a video or something. He could even go out still if he wanted to, but he doesn't, really. It just seems like a bother now. Or he could go back to Jude's room. And do what? Shag again, possibly. Talk. And it isn't like he _disliked_ lying there with him, cuddling or whatever. He just isn't used to it.

Turning off the water finally, he wipes his hands off on his thighs and opens the door, only to find Jude waiting for him on the other side. Suddenly he feels stupid for simply assuming that Jude would even want him to come back to bed. For all he knows, Jude still wants to go out. He forces a grin. "Oh...did you want to use the toilet?"

"Uh... might as well," Jude mutters, pushing past Ewan and into the bathroom. "But, no, actually. I came to find you." He positions himself carefully in front of the toilet bowl. "I just wondered what you were up to next," he calls out, trying to sound casual as he raises his voice over the liquid rumble of his stream hitting the water below. "I mean..." he adds, as he shakes the last drops away and reaches out to flush. The sound of rushing water drowns whatever he was going to say, so Jude uses the sink to rinse his hands briefly and then follows Ewan out into the hallway, shaking stray drops from his fingers.

"I mean..." he continues, more quietly now he doesn't have to yell, "I wondered if you still wanted to go out. It's not that late. Or, if not, I've got another bottle of the fizzy stuff. Spanish Cava, or something... It's not real champagne but close enough."

"Nah, not much point in going out now... 'less you really want to...?" Ewan asks, hoping the answer is no. "I could use a drink, though."

"I'm not really that bothered," Jude shrugs. He strolls casually into the kitchen and opens the fridge, looking for the second bottle he bought earlier. "It's just a bit early to crash out so I thought... uh...might as well finish this off." He opens the bottle quickly and looks around for the glasses. The half open packet is on the counter and he pulls two new flutes from the cardboard and thrusts them towards Ewan.

"After all... I dunno about you, but I'm celebrating twice tonight." Jude grins and, gripping the bottle casually by the neck, heads back towards his bedroom. He glances back at Ewan over his shoulder. "Coming?"

"Apparently so, if I want my drink." Ewan laughs, following just far enough behind Jude that he gets a nice view of his arse. A very nice view. He wouldn't mind fucking Jude, but seeing as how Jude had made it pretty clear that he didn't want so much as a finger up him, Ewan is more than happy to have it this way.

Back in the bedroom, Ewan comes up behind Jude, quickly wrapping his arms around Jude's waist before he can turn around. Resting his chin on Jude's shoulder, he holds the glasses out. "Here, pour us a glass then."

"Mmm hmm?" Jude wriggles back against Ewan, pressing comfortably into his warmth. His free hand slides over Ewan's arm, holding it against his waist. _That's more like it._ Carefully he fills the two glasses as Ewan holds them steady.

"Cheers!" Jude takes one glass from Ewan's grasp and raises it to his lips. He can't keep standing there though. He's slowly growing more and more aware of Ewan's groin pressed against his arse. It's not unpleasant but... it's not something he wants to dwell on right now. He turns slightly and smiles at Ewan, casually disengaging and then dropping onto his bed. He motions to Ewan to join him. "It's not as good as the Moet," he says, making a face at the sparkling wine, "but it'll do."

"I'm not complaining," Ewan says, downing most of his glass in one swallow. He flops down next to Jude, sprawling out on his side and holding out the flute to be refilled. Jude does so and Ewan takes another drink, just a sip this time. "You really went all out with that Moet, though. Too bad you had to waste it on me, eh?"

"Quite literally," Jude says, smirking. "I dunno... I can't think of anyone I'd rather celebrate with though." He sits up to refill his own glass. "Besides... how do you know I wasn't just trying to get you tipsy so I could have my wicked way with you?"

"Biggest waste of money ever, if you were." Ewan laughs. "No need to get me drunk for that."

"Damn..." Jude says mildly. "If only I'd known..." He laughs and then looks at Ewan, sobering. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Course you can. What is it?" Ewan asks curiously.

"Well..." Jude crosses his legs, absently playing with his toes. "When you... when did you realise you liked blokes? I mean, did you always know? And did you ever fancy girls at all? I know there was that one..." He trails off, blushing slightly as he buries his nose in his glass.

"Erm...just always, I guess. It was never like one of those big things," Ewan gestures vaguely with his glass, "revelations. It was never a big revelation or anything." He pauses, realising that Jude is, in fact, having 'one of those big things'. "Different for everyone, obviously," he says in what he hopes is an understanding-but-not-condescending tone. His glass is empty again, but this time he just takes the bottle from Jude and fills it himself.

"I've just never fancied birds that way. I mean, I can look at a girl and say she's pretty, but it's not like...a sexual thing, you know? I've never got hard thinking about a girl, let's put it that way," he adds with a grin.

"Right..." Jude swirls the last of his drink around the glass, watching it circle around and around. "I don't... really get hard thinking about guys. I just never thought about it really. I mean... maybe. There's you, of course. But in general... I just never really looked at men that way." He shrugs, tips the remainder of his wine down his throat and then looks at Ewan, smacking his lips. "I suppose I might in future."

Sipping his drink, Ewan raises his eyebrows skeptically. "Never?" he asks, running his fingers along Jude's thigh. "You've never looked at a bloke and thought you'd like to shag him? I was the first you ever thought that about?"

Jude throws his head back and laughs. "You're definitely the first bloke I fantasised about shagging, yeah." He tilts his head, thinking about the question. "There was... there was a guy at school I had a bit of a crush on. In the football team. Made me feel a bit... you know, tongue tied, when he talked to me but he hated me and I pretended to be far too superior to associate with the likes of 'im. I might have been a bit young for thoughts of fucking." Jude shrugs and chuckles fondly at the reminiscence. He sips the champagne, feeling the buzz. "And there's always Paul Newman..." he grins, "then again, I think I wanted to _be_ him, not shag him."

"Paul Newman, eh?" Ewan squints at Jude, pretending to eye him critically. "You're much better looking," he pronounces, as if the entire world has been waiting to hear his opinion on the matter.

"Thanks..." Jude rolls his eyes. "So then... who would you fuck? Paul Newman or Robert Redford?"

"Um..." Finishing off the last of his champagne, Ewan flops onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. "It'd have to be the young version either way. I don't go for old guys. Um," he says again, chewing his lip as he tries to decide, "Newman? No, Redford... Well, seeing as it's a fantasy anyway, how about Newman fucking me whilst Redford sucks me off?" Grinning, he looks over to see Jude's reaction.

"Hmmm... three guys, eh?" Jude ponders the mechanics of this, pursing his lips. It's hard, no, impossible even, to imagine being in between two guys without one of them fucking him up the arse. Nope, not going to happen. His buttocks tighten reflexively. He takes another drink, surprised to find his glass is almost empty again. He doesn't feel drunk. "Sounds like fun," he says flatly, sounding unconvinced.

"You don't think so?" Sitting up, Ewan peers at the bottle - almost gone - and pours out the last of the champagne, dividing it evenly between his glass and Jude's. He reaches over and sets the empty bottle on the nightstand before lying down on his side again, propping himself up on one elbow. "Having sex with two big Hollywood film stars doesn't sound good to you?"

"Well... yeah... sounds okay," Jude says frowning. "Only I don't want to... I sort of... feel funny about the idea of something... up there. I mean, I know you like it and there's nothing wrong with that," he adds hurriedly, "only the idea of it makes me squirm a bit." Shrugging casually to show it's no big deal, Jude is half tempted to ask Ewan what it's like, what he sees in it and why on earth he gets off on it but... no, no he's not interested.

"Makes me squirm, too," Ewan grins, "but probably not the same way you mean. Weeelll...so you wouldn't want to do both Newman and Redford at the same time, all right. Who would you do, though? I mean, now you've done it, and you've sucked me off a bunch of times, so even if you didn't fantasise about blokes before, now you know you like them. So c'mon then, who?"

"Uh... just guys?"

Ewan rolls his eyes. "Well, we _are_ talking about shagging blokes, so yeah, that is sort of what I meant. You can say girls if you want, though."

"Well then... uh... ooh, I know! James Dean. Everyone wants to shag James Dean, right?" Jude could probably think of half a dozen women off the top of his head, but that's probably not what Ewan wants to hear. "And uh... Johnny Depp. He was so good in Edward Scissorhands. Actually, I'd do them both, Johnny _and_ Winona."

"Hmm...yeah, I wouldn't mind Johnny Depp." Finishing off his drink and placing the empty glass next to the bottle, Ewan sighs. It's obvious Jude's having a hard time coming up with any answers and it's rather depressing. Just another reminder that Jude doesn't really like guys. _So what's he doing here, then?_ Ewan thinks irritably. Time to change the subject before he starts dwelling on it. "So, erm...that's the last of the champagne, eh?"

"Yeah, it is," Jude says, quickly finishing his glass before Ewan gets any ideas. He dumps it on the bedside table and then lies down, stretching his body alongside Ewan's. "Funny, I don't really feel that pissed at all. Pretty good celebration though," he adds, tentatively sliding a hand over Ewan's belly.

"Mmm...yeah, _very_ good celebration." Ewan smiles, arching into Jude's touch. There, this is better than talking anyway. He puts one hand on Jude's hip, rubbing circles with his thumb.

After a minute or so, lying there in comfortable silence, Jude finds he has another question. "Can you do it front ways?" he asks, curious. "Only I would have liked to have seen you..." He trails off, fearing he sounds stupid. "You know..."

"Like this?" Ewan grins and throws one leg over Jude's hip, pressing close. "Sure you can."

"Yeah?" Jude strokes Ewan's leg, his fingers hooking behind the knee and pulling it up even more. "Fucking like that?"

"Oh yeah," Ewan murmurs, kissing along Jude's jaw and then again on his neck. "Definitely yeah."

"Want to show me how?" Jude murmurs, his hand straying to caress Ewan's hip. He's not hard yet, but he can feel definite stirrings of arousal. He smirks. "Unless you've got something better to do..."

"Better than sex?" Ewan chuckles into Jude's neck, his hips beginning to move in an unmistakable rhythm. He sucks at the skin, leaving a small mark behind. "Not bloody likely."

Jude laughs, delighted. He presses closer, rolling against Ewan, his body thrilling at the contact as his cock stiffens. Tangling his hand in Ewan's hair he pulls his head up for a kiss. "You are _such_ a considerate teacher."

"Well, teaching is a delight when you have such an apt pupil as yourself." Rolling onto his back, Ewan pulls Jude on top of him, wrapping his legs around Jude's waist. They're both getting hard now, cocks rubbing together, making him gasp and moan.

"Apt? Apt?" Jude lets Ewan position him as he will, grinding against him with growing enthusiasm. "That's not what you called me this morning when you couldn't find the milk..." He silences any opportunity for a come-back by kissing Ewan, hard, using tongue and teeth to worry at Ewan's lips.

Ewan doesn't protest. Talking is overrated anyway; it certainly doesn't come anywhere near comparing to the feel of Jude's body, lean and firm, sliding against his own as Jude practically devours his mouth.

Facing Ewan, being able to kiss Ewan like this, his hands caressing Ewan's skin in gentle familiar motion, seems more intimate to Jude. It's just shagging, just sex, he reminds himself and Ewan's a friend, nothing more. Although his kisses taste good. Pulling his mouth away from Ewan's, Jude licks along his jaw line and moves down to nuzzle at his throat. "Ewan..." he murmurs, "I want to be inside you again."

"Yeah...yeah. Want you." Ewan pats the bed next to him, but all he finds is the soggy spot where he wiped his hand off earlier. "Where's the stuff?"

Jude lifts his head from his sensual exploration of Ewan's collarbone and looks around. The other condom is lying on the bedside table, where he left it, but the lube is no-where in sight. "Hang on," he says, scrambling backwards and searching under the covers, "it's around here somewhere, I know."

Finally his hand bumps against something small and hard and he fishes it out with a grin of triumph. "Got it!" It's already open so he squirts a good measure of lube onto two fingers and shuffles forward again, pushing on one of Ewan's thighs to open his legs up more, and slides his fingers down to find Ewan's entrance once more. Again it seems to him to be a strange mechanical interruption of the mood but one glance at Ewan's aroused, expectant face reassures him. He pushes in.

Ewan lifts his hips, rocking as Jude fucks him with his fingers. His eyelids flutter and his mouth falls open slightly as he stretches one arm up, curling it around his head. With his other hand, he reaches down to grasp his cock, fingers splaying over his chest and ribs on the way. He's posing, and it's only so long before he has to open his eyes, looking up through his lashes to see Jude's reaction.

 _He's beautiful._ Beautiful in the way someone confident in their sensual appeal radiates sexuality. Jude is staring; staring at the way Ewan's hair fans over the pillow, the way his dark liquid eyes and moist open mouth reflect glinting highlights in the semi-dark, the way his nipples blush pink on his pale skin and the subtle play of light over the muscles of his belly as he thrusts against Jude's fingers. Jude's eyes are drawn to Ewan's cock, standing out hard and proud, darkened with blood. So beautiful. Slicking his fingers with lube again, Jude slides three fingers inside him, pushing hard, fucking him hard and watching him writhe with each thrust. A small drop of clear liquid shines at the tip of Ewan's cock and Jude bends forward, his tongue snaking out to gently lap it up. _Beautiful._

"Jude, oh..." _Oh God, that's good._

Each thrust of Jude's fingers lifts Ewan's hips off the bed, and Jude's face is so close now, bending over him. He rubs his cock across Jude's cheek and over his lips, watching as Jude's tongue flicks out again to lick the head. Ewan smiles slowly. "Do I taste good?"

"Oh yeah," Jude breathes, warm air whispering over Ewan's sensitive skin. He runs his tongue over the slit again. "Like mine, only..." Jude looks up at Ewan and licks his lips, "only more like you... somehow." He thrusts his fingers in again, giving them a little twist to find that spot Ewan liked so much before and as he does so, he opens his mouth and sucks Ewan down, not far, but hot and warm and tight, using his tongue. Ewan's going to love this, he knows.

Letting go of his cock, Ewan threads his fingers through Jude's hair, fingernails scraping his scalp. Jude's fingers are fucking him hard, pushing him up so he can fuck Jude's mouth as he holds Jude's head in place, and it's good. Too good. Not good enough. He could come from this, and soon, but that's not what he wants.

He tugs Jude's head up. "No...c'mon. Need you, fuck me, please..."

"Oh yeah..." Jude grins smugly and reaches for the condom. He struggles with it briefly, his fingers too slick to grip the packet properly, but he manages to open it eventually. Kneeling back on his heels, knees spread widely between Ewan's outstretched legs, he concentrates on sliding it on. Finally he's ready. He looks up at Ewan, who is watching him with growing impatience, and grins at him. "Okay..."

Putting one heel up over Jude's shoulder, Ewan urges him forward. "You gonna keep me waiting forever?" he asks with a mock pout. And it does feel like forever, though it can't have been even an hour since he was begging Jude to fuck him the first time.

There's no hesitation this time. Jude positions himself quickly, barely fumbling at all, and, gripping Ewan's hips to steady himself, glides smoothly home. It's still incredible. For a moment it's too much and he can feel his cock pulse briefly as his eyes squeeze shut. But he wants to see so he forces his eyes open again to watch Ewan tilt his head back in pleasure, his mouth widening into a satisfied smile. If he could reach to kiss that grin he would, but Ewan's leg is in the way, and so Jude settles for grabbing Ewan's cock instead, his hand moving slowly over it as he begins to thrust in earnest.

Arching his back, Ewan moves with Jude's thrusts, each one driving him up into Jude's hand. _Jude doesn't want this?_ It's incomprehensible, truly. _He doesn't know what he's missing._

He runs his hands over Jude's arms, his chest, wherever he can reach. Taking one nipple between his fingers, he twists and pulls, fingers going slack for an instant when Jude gets just the right angle. "Fuck, oh God Jude...harder," he gasps.

"Oh yes, that's good," Jude sighs happily. He tries to push in again just the same way, hoping to see Ewan shudder again, his mouth pink and gasping wide open, the cords of his neck standing out as he tenses. It's lovely to watch and even better when Ewan pulls at his nipples like that. No one else is ever this rough with him. "Do it again... twist it hard."

Ewan complies readily, tugging and twisting as Jude pounds into him again and again. Jude's face above him is flushed and sweaty, but God, he looks amazing, and Ewan can't help but wonder why Jude's here with him at all. Suddenly gripped by the desire to make sure that whatever the reason, Jude keeps coming back to him, Ewan gives his nipple another savage twist and clenches his muscles tightly around Jude's cock.

"Ohhhhh," Jude moans. _Incredible._ If he hadn't already come this evening, he feels sure he wouldn't last much longer. As it is he keeps thrusting, pushing into Ewan again and again, rocking him back and forth as he finds the right rhythm. "Oh, it's good," he groans, "so good, Ewan."

"Yeah," Ewan agrees breathlessly, "'s good." He wants to kiss Jude suddenly, wants to feel his breath, ragged and shallow, mingling with his own. Sliding his leg off Jude's shoulder, he wraps it around his waist, pulling him close. Arms around Jude, he can feel the knobs of his spine, the sharp juts of his shoulderblades, and then one hand moves up to tangle in his hair, gripping tightly as he crushes Jude's mouth to his own.

Jude slides an arm around Ewan's neck, holding him close, kissing him in joyous abandon. He can still feel Ewan's cock, crushed hot and hard between his belly and his hand and he grips it firmly, hand jerking awkwardly up and down between them. His hips snap forward again feeling like he couldn't go harder, couldn't go deeper, couldn't do better than this. "God," he moans, finally breaking the kiss. He feels like whispering endearments into Ewan's ear because in this moment, he's never felt closer to anyone in his life, but what would he say? "Fucking brilliant, mate, you're fucking brilliant..." He wants to come, so close now, but not before Ewan. Not before he sees Ewan. "I want to see you come, Ewan," he whispers. "Please...Ewan, for me."

"Yes..." Ewan bites Jude's lip, his jaw, his ear, and then kisses each spot he bit. His hips are pumping, grinding his cock against Jude's belly, into his tight grip. "Jude...yeeessss," he breathes again as his whole body tenses and everything just seems to _stop_ for an instant before his orgasm overtakes him. Eyes closed, mouth open wide, heart pounding rapidly, he clings to Jude as waves of pleasure wash over him.

 _Such an amazing sight._ Ewan's face is so close, Jude can't quite see the whole picture. He watches the rosy flush creeping over Ewan's cheeks, the way he screws up his eyes, his face lined and twisted with tension, his teeth bared, and he can see the moment Ewan's climax overtakes him and he shudders beneath him, all tension draining from his suddenly slack face. Jude watches it all entranced, his eyes wide and shining, waiting until Ewan's mouth curls into a gentle satisfied smile. _So beautiful._ It's enough. He buries his face in Ewan's sweaty neck and with a few last urgent thrusts he comes.

When it's all over, when they've finally caught their breath, Ewan holds him, not tightly now, but holding him all the same. One leg is twined with Jude's, one arm wrapped around him, stroking his back, one hand cupping the back of Jude's head, fingers laced through his hair as their lips meet in a lingering kiss.

"You all right there?" Jude finally mumbles. He rolls to the side slightly, taking his weight off Ewan but still tangled up around him. He groans contentedly. _What a fuckin' amazing shag._ He kisses Ewan's shoulder, light hearted and friendly. "All right. I'm convinced."

"Hmm? Convinced of what?" Ewan asks.

"Of the benefits of shagging blokes," Jude says airily and then ruins the effect by yawning. "Uungh... bloody knackered. It certainly tires you out."

"Oh, that. Yeah...'s good." Ewan yawns, too, then and adds, "Should do it more often."

"Mmm... yeah," Jude agrees sleepily. A thought occurs to him and he half sits up, pulling off the condom and getting rid of it. Quickly, before Ewan decides he's going to get up and leave, Jude settles back down again and slings an arm over his chest, nestling his head against Ewan's shoulder. Any other cleaning up can wait till tomorrow, as far as he's concerned, as he's far too boneless and wrung out to move right now. "Night," he murmurs, his eyes closing as he makes himself comfortable.

"Night," Ewan echoes, scooting around a bit so he can pull the blanket up over them. He wonders briefly if maybe he should get up and go back to his own room, but he doesn't feel like moving. _And it is nice, just once in a while_ , he thinks as he drifts off.


	7. Nothing Like That

The Queen's Head isn't too crowded tonight, which is a relief. The usual pub regulars are scattered around, most of them grouped up the other end of the bar where the big screen is showing the mid-week match. Jude isn't particularly interested in either team so he only glances up when a few desultory cheers or groans from the onlookers indicate someone's come close to scoring. Still nil-all, so he sips his pint and turns back to Jonny and Ewan.

They had been thinking of going to the Albany, but that was deemed too far to walk home, so Jonny had come over and met them at the local. He's meeting his bird after she gets off work but for the moment Jonny's sitting there, enthusiastically relating the latest backstage gossip in gory detail and Ewan is sipping his pint and nodding at the appropriate moments.

"...flings open the door and there they are, him and the wardrobe girl, and she's copping a good feel of those inside leg measurements, if you know what I mean."

Jude's heard this story already but Ewan snorts in amusement. "Checking the fit of the trousers, eh?" His broad grin lights up his face and there's something so catching about the way his eyes shine with laughter, Jude can't help grinning with him. Ewan glances over, his gaze lingering a little longer than necessary and suddenly Jude can feel the heat rising in his face. He concentrates on downing the last of his pint but his mind flits ahead to the end of the evening. Perhaps it's going to be another of 'those' nights.

"So anyway," Jonny clears his throat and continues, "the upshot is that the girl's been sacked, the wife's spitting chips and Dickie boy's slinking around with his tail between his legs."

Sniggering a little, Jude reaches for the packet of crisps on the table. Ewan's hand is there already and there's a brief scrabble for the last few chips. Looking across at Ewan, Jude sees the guarded heat in his expression. Yes. Definitely one of those nights. He squirms comfortably in his seat.

"I'll get 'em in then," Ewan says, rising, and with a nod at Jonny he heads to the bar. Idly Jude watches him go before turning back to Jonny, only to find Jonny watching him quizzically.

"So...wassup with you and him?" Jonny jerks his head in Ewan's direction.

"Nothing! Nothing's up..." Jude says, a little too hastily. He looks at Jonny, an expression of innocent puzzlement fixed firmly on his face. "What you on about?"

"Well, you know..." Jonny shrugs diffidently, but his shoulders are tense. "How come he keeps looking at you like that?"

"Like what, you idiot?" Jude scoffs, without heat.

Jonny places his pint carefully back on the table. "Like he wants to get into your pants."

Jude raises his eyebrows. "Well, everyone wants to get into my pants." Maybe if he keeps it light, keeps it amusing and laughs it off Jonny will drop the fucking subject that suddenly seems so very important to avoid.

Jonny doesn't take the bait. His face turns serious and he lowers his voice. "More like he's succeeded."

"I..." _Fuck!_ What can he say to that? "I don't know what you're on about."

There is a short awkward pause. Jude opens his mouth to say something, anything, but the moment is saved by Ewan arriving back from the bar, three pints balanced between his fingers. Grinning, he slides in next to Jude and immediately starts complaining about the appalling lack of decent looking blokes in the pub tonight. Jude laughs and dives into the conversation, relieved to be changing the subject. And if Ewan is sitting just a little too close, if his leg brushes against Jude's just a little too often, Jude ignores it, for to pull away would make him look even more guilty. Jonny sips his pint, slightly subdued but by the time it's Jude's turn to get the next round of drinks, he's laughing and joking again.

"Get us some more crisps while you're at it, eh?" Ewan calls out as Jude wends his way to the bar. Lighting another cigarette, he looks up to find Jonny watching him again, an odd expression on his face. It seems like Jonny's been looking at him strangely all evening.

"So...uh...Ewan," Jonny says finally. "You two seem pretty...close."

 _Ah. So that's it._ And if Jonny's asking him, then Jude'd probably refused to tell him anything. Or maybe told him there was nothing going on. Vaguely unsettled by that thought, Ewan taps the ash off his cigarette. "Yeah..." he says slowly, still mulling over what to say, then suddenly it comes to him, "we've been shagging like rabbits."

"What the fuck?!" Jonny says, gaping at Ewan.

Sitting back in his seat, Ewan blows smoke across the table at him. "Just taking the piss, Jonny, don't give yourself a heart attack." He sounds annoyed and wishes he didn't.

Jonny plays with his coaster, looking like he's not sure how to respond to that. Eventually he says, "I'm just... Sorry, I thought you were serious for a minute."

"What if I was anyway?" Ewan snaps, reaching for the crisps. "Is that so bad?"

Staring at Ewan suspiciously, Jonny says, "Well, it's okay for you, being queer and all. But Jude...he's a bit...impressionable. I'd hate to see him fucked around."

It's hard not to take that the wrong way, if there's even any right way to take it. And how is he supposed to answer? Nothing's going on? No, I won't fuck with him? What the hell does my being queer have to do with it? Nothing seems right, so Ewan doesn't say anything at all. Jonny doesn't either.

Instead they sit in silence, casting idle glances at the telly and over to where Jude stands at the bar. Ewan checks out the bloke next to Jude; his face isn't visible, but his arse is nice, his jeans clinging to him like a second skin. Ewan wishes he'd turn around. Perhaps he should go over there; he could use the excuse of having forgotten to ask Jude to get something and then he could see what this bloke looks like up close. But no, he reminds himself as his gaze slides back over to Jude, whose arse is just as nice, though his jeans aren't nearly as tight. He doesn't want to cop off with anyone else tonight.

He's still admiring Jude's arse when Jonny says suddenly, "So...you doing him up the bum or what?"

Choking on a mouthful of crisps, Ewan coughs until his eyes tear as Jonny looks on worriedly. He wasn't expecting _that_. "No." It's the truth after all; Jude's not the one getting "done up the bum".

"That's all right then..." Jonny sits back, visibly relieved. "I mean. He's not stupid. But...you're not going to push him into anything, are you?"

Taking a drag on his cigarette and wishing Jude would hurry the fuck up, Ewan rolls his eyes. "It's nothing, Jonny, don't worry about it. Jude's my friend too, all right?"

He glances over and sees Jude coming back to the table now, finally, three pints in his hands and a bag of crisps in his teeth, which he drops in front of Ewan before setting down the drinks.

"Took you fucking long enough," Ewan says, suddenly cheerful. Jude grins, dropping into the seat next to him - not quite as close as before, but still close enough that they're bumping elbows and knees, and Ewan settles back, determined to enjoy the rest of the evening.

* * *

Ewan is kicking an empty beer can as he walks, shoulders hunched and hands stuffed in his pockets, wishing he'd put on a jumper before they went to the pub. He's sort of glad Jonny didn't want to come along back to the flat with them; the more he thinks about it, the more it bugs him that Jonny would think he'd...hurt Jude, or whatever. Just because Jonny and Jude have known each other longer. And anyway, it's only shagging; it's not like Jude's his _boyfriend_ or anything.

He kicks the can harder, watching as it skitters on ahead of them. "Shame Jonny couldn't come back with us, eh? Could've hired a video or something."

"Yeah...shame that," Jude says half-heartedly. In truth, he doesn't really mind. It means he'll have Ewan all to himself this evening and he's half drunk and glad he won't have to hide the fact he's eyeing Ewan off. He giggles. "But he's got to keep the girlfriend happy."

"Yeah." Ewan's gaze slides over to Jude, watching him from the corner of his eye. "He seemed surprised you haven't got one yourself yet. It's been, what? Couple months since you broke off with whatshername, Fiona," he says, surprised he remembers her name, but then she was the only thing Jude talked about for ages when they were together, so maybe it's not so surprising after all that it sunk in. "More than that, even..."

"Why would Jonny care who I'm shagging? He should mind his own fucking business," Jude says, frowning. Jonny's questions in the pub bothered him; gave him a squirmy uncomfortable feeling at the thought of anyone, even Jonny, finding out about him and Ewan. "'sides," he adds, "I've had girlfriends... Just haven't lasted very long, that's all."

"I know, that's what I meant. I just, you know, there's a difference between shags and girlfriends, yeah?" They've caught up with the can now, and Ewan is kicking it again, back and forth between his feet like a football. He watches the ground instead of Jude. "Anyway, 's not like he _cared_ , just like, was surprised is all, I think. Maybe he thinks Fiona put you off birds," he adds, laughing.

"God no..." Jude laughs. "She wasn't that bad...for a heartless cow."

Grabbing Ewan by the elbow, Jude holds him back and jumps in to take control of the improvised ball, kicking it out from between Ewan's feet. The can skitters along the pavement for a few paces and Jude races up to place a foot on it, teasingly waiting until Ewan has almost caught up again before he's off, kicking it ahead again. He grins, looking back at Ewan challengingly.

"Oi! Get your own can!" Ewan calls, running up behind Jude and tackling him. Grinning madly, he wraps his arms around Jude's waist and tries to swing him around so Ewan is between him and the can. He kicks it out of the way so as not to step on it as they tussle, and then, when he sees an opening, abruptly lets go and runs after it, kicking it on ahead again. He follows the can, yelling over his shoulder, "Wanker! Is that the best you can do?"

"You tosser!" Jude yells, chasing after Ewan. He tackles him from behind, not minding that he's far closer than would be allowed in a real match, and tussles for the 'ball'. "Think you're hot stuff, do ya?" he pants, trying to get around Ewan. Ewan twists and turns, keeping himself between Jude and the can, and Jude laughs, grabbing Ewan's shirt and holding him back.

"Leggo of my shirt, cheater." Ewan laughs and grabs Jude's wrist with one hand, trying to pry his fingers open with the other. Jude's got a death grip on his shirt, though, and what's worse, Ewan's having a hard time concentrating on keeping the can away from him at the same time, and there have been several close calls.

Suddenly he has an idea and, abandoning his futile battle with Jude's fingers, he ducks, arms up in the air, and manages to slither out of his t-shirt. "Cold!" he gasps, but he's free and that's all that matters. So what if he's covered in goose pimples? He quickly kicks the can away, laughing loudly.

Gaping, Jude is taken by surprise. Ewan is already half a dozen yards ahead by the time he flings himself forward, racing after him. "You sneaky bastard," he cries out, flailing at Ewan's arse with the t-shirt and catching him with an ineffective thwack. He laughs, delighted, grinning hugely at Ewan. "You just can't keep your gear on, can you?"

Ewan's hands find their way to his waistband, fiddling with the top button of his jeans as he turns to face Jude, the can momentarily forgotten behind him. Still grinning, his voice drops seductively. "You want me to take it all off?"

"No!" Jude shrieks, laughing still. "Not here in the street! You would, too, wouldn't you, you mad Scottish git!" Grinning, he holds out the t-shirt to Ewan, the can forgotten as he slouches forward trying to regain his breath. "How about you save it for when we get home," he says, with a nod.

Pulling his shirt over his head, Ewan sighs dramatically and says, "Well, it is a bit cold out for going starkers, so it's all for the best, I s'pose." Clammy now from all the running, he wraps his arms around himself to keep warm and bounces on his heels. "We going straight home then, or what?"

"Yeah." Jude looks around. They're already pretty close to the flat. "I wouldn't mind getting some extra beer from the offy. And maybe some...uh..." he looks at Ewan and can't help the slightly embarrassed flush, "supplies."

"Oh, supplies, eh?" Ewan can't resist teasing. "And what kind of supplies would these be, exactly? Cleaning supplies?"

"Johnnies, mate..." Jude grins and shrugs. "Just in case any half-naked birds come round, you know?"

"I see." Ewan starts walking. "Well, I'll let you know if I see any half-naked birds, then."

"Course," says Jude, catching up and grabbing Ewan by the elbow again, "I wouldn't turn my nose up at a half-naked guy, you know...if he met my high standards." He drops his hand, not wanting to be seen fondling another bloke in the street, but he still smiles warmly at Ewan. "Like...you know...a certain half naked Scots git."

"Hmm, well...I might be able to help you out there," Ewan says, grinning back. They've reached the shop now, and Ewan pulls open the door, slapping Jude on the arse as he pushes him through. "Go on, then. I'll fetch the beer."

Jude jumps, frowning. Ewan's smack was friendly, nothing suggestive to it at all. He just wishes he hadn't done it in public. Still, no one saw, he's pretty sure of that. The shop is nearly empty with just a couple of people browsing the shelves. Finding the toiletries section, Jude picks out some plain Durex. There's some fancy ones and for a moment he's tempted, but it's probably best to stick to the no frills stuff. He smiles to himself. Something about buying condoms still gives him a thrill, just like buying his first packet, long before he ever got to use one for real.

The guy behind the counter is eyeing him strangely. _Probably thinks I'm going to nick something._ Jude smirks and saunters to the checkout, tossing the packet onto the counter and digging in his pocket for change.

Ewan comes up behind him, awkwardly holding three bottles in each hand. "This all right?" he asks. "Only I forgot to get a basket and couldn't carry any more." Making a face, he adds, "And besides, I haven't got much money anyway."

"Nah, that'll do," Jude says, eyeing the bottles. "Don't need to get legless, do we?"

"I dunno, do you?" Ewan says, surprising himself with the slight edge in his voice. The bottles clatter as he sets them down and gets out his wallet.

"What, you trying to say I'm an alkie?" Jude looks sidelong at Ewan, a little puzzled. He pockets the condoms and turns, waiting for Ewan to pay for the beer. Maybe Ewan's a little annoyed because he's short of cash. "I can chip in if you want. Is that what you want?"

"No, that's not what I want." Rolling his eyes, Ewan pays for the beer and grabs the bags. Heading for the door, he calls over his shoulder, "You coming then?"

"Yeah, sure." Jude feels deflated but can't quite put his finger on what it is that's wrong. Or not wrong...just a little off. He shrugs. Ewan's just being his moody self and will no doubt be back to cheerful by the time they get back to the flat. He hopes so. Following Ewan out of the door, Jude hurries to catch up. It's really not far now and he's quite looking forward to getting home.

They walk a little ways in silence, but it's awkward and uneasy and Ewan is annoyed with himself for causing it. "So...you got the supplies?" he asks inanely, trying to get back to the happy, playful mood they had before.

"Yeah..." says Jude, tapping his pocket knowingly. He pulls his key out and slots it in the keyhole, swinging the door open. "You got the half-naked Scotsman?"

"Hang on..." Ewan kicks the door shut behind them and sets the bags down so he can pull his shirt off. He tosses it at Jude, grinning as it hits him in the face. "Now I do."

"Brilliant... We're all set then," Jude says, grinning. Ewan's pale skin gleams in the light from the streetlight, filtering through the window above the door. Suddenly awkward, Jude wonders if he should grab Ewan now. The smile on his face slowly turns serious as he looks at Ewan and takes a small step towards him, his hands reaching out of their own accord. He stiffens self-consciously and grabs one of the bags instead. "We should...ah...we should get upstairs, eh?" And then as Ewan's starts to frown, "We might find a half-naked Englishman up there for you."

Picking up his shirt and the other bag, Ewan slings his arm around Jude's shoulders as they walk. He leans in, breath ghosting across Jude's cheek as he whispers, "Only might?"

"Well...seems only fair," Jude says softly, his hand snaking around Ewan's waist and even sliding under the waistband of Ewan's jeans. "One for you, one for me..." They negotiate the stairs carefully, Jude giggling a little at the awkwardness and the way his foot seems to tangle in Ewan's leg just as they reach the landing, but he still doesn't want to let go. Not yet. As soon as they're on safe footing he squirms round and pulls Ewan to him, holding him close.

Bringing his free hand up to cup the back of Jude's head, Ewan closes those last few inches between them. He kisses Jude softly, running his fingers through his hair, and murmurs, "What're we waiting for then...?"

Pulling back, Jude catches his breath, a thrill coursing through him. He grabs his own shirt and skims it off swiftly. "There...that's better," he murmurs and grins at Ewan. "We seem to be in luck. Now...where?"

Laughing, Ewan smoothes his palm over Jude's back and down to cup his arse. "Maybe not right in the corridor."

 _Doesn't sound so bad._ Idle thoughts of fucking Ewan right there in the corridor flit through Jude's mind as he leans in to kiss him again, but the technicalities escape him. Besides, it would probably be too fiddly and not quite as hot as he imagines it. Something to think about later... Ewan's hand on his arse sends shivers of arousal through him and Jude is keen to get out of his clothes, to touch, to feel, without cloth between them. "My room?" he murmurs, kissing Ewan's neck.

"Yeah, all right," Ewan says, setting down the beer and pushing Jude towards his bedroom. He drops his t-shirt as well, and now both hands are on Jude's arse, pulling him close as Ewan grinds against him, getting more aggressive the closer they get to Jude's room.

"Oh...yeah..." Jude's fingers are touching Ewan's jaw, playing over his nipples, running down his belly to dive below his waistband. He can feel the head of Ewan's cock, smooth and firm under his fingertips. He pushes down, trying to reach for more, but he can't slide his hand in any further. A quick flick and Jude has Ewan's button undone, sliding the zip down carefully to free his prize. "Mmmm..." he purrs, triumphant, as he slides his hand comfortably around the hard length, holding it steady as Ewan thrusts against him.

Wrapping his arms around Jude's neck, Ewan widens his stance, resting his head on Jude's shoulder as he pumps his hips. It's not that much further to the bed, but he doesn't care; he doesn't want to move. This is good right here. He moans, making soft encouraging noises as he nibbles at Jude's neck.

Sliding an arm around Ewan, Jude pushes up against him. One step, two and Ewan is backed against the wall. Kissing him hard, pressing him, all Jude can hear is the harsh sound of their breathing and the moist smack of their mouths and lips and tongues sliding together. He works his hand further into Ewan's jeans, his fingertips dragging over the soft skin of his balls, digging in, cupping them and lifting them. Ewan moans softly and Jude grips him, crushing him between his body and the wall.

 _Oh yeah, that's it, that's..._ Ewan whimpers, arching into Jude's touch. "Jude... Jude, want you," he mumbles, his teeth closing over Jude's lip. His fingers tug urgently at Jude's fly, fumbling with the button, trying to get the damn thing open. Finally freeing Jude's cock, he wraps one leg around Jude's waist, kissing and biting and panting breathlessly, "Fuck me."

"Yeah...yeah," Jude pants, thrusting against Ewan. He pushes Ewan's jeans down, baring him to the thighs, and slides his cock against Ewan's. "Want to fuck you again..." He pulls back finally and grabs Ewan's shoulder, pushing him towards the bed. "Come on...come on then."

Ewan stumbles, falling back onto the bed, and he quickly shoves his jeans the rest of the way down and kicking them off. Or trying to, as one leg catches stubbornly on his heel and he has to reach down and pull it off by hand. Jude is skinning out of his own jeans, pulling the condoms from his pocket, and that reminds Ewan. "Don't s'pose you've got any lube around here...?" he asks, balling up his jeans and throwing them across the room.

"Oh...no I don't." Jude looks at Ewan, crestfallen. "I forgot..." He casts around, wondering if Ewan left a tube here after last time but he can't seem to find it. He could kick himself. "We can go to your room...you have lube there, don't you?"

"Course I do," Ewan assures him. He had sort of wondered whether Jude mightn't have bought some of his own, but he's not really surprised to learn otherwise. _Wouldn't want anyone to think you were gay or anything_ , he thinks, a touch bitterly.

He doesn't let it show, though; he just grins and stands and kisses Jude before grabbing his hand and pulling him along to the other bedroom. "Come on, then. It's not far at least." Though it does take longer than it should, hard as it is to walk when you're tangled up with someone else.

Collapsing with relief onto Ewan's bed, Jude pulls Ewan down on top of him. He's got half a mind to tease Ewan about the state of the room but in the end he just grins at him and slips his hands down to cup Ewan's arse, pulling him closer against him. "Not expecting visitors, I see," he says softly, and leans up to kiss him.

"Mmm, any visitors I'd have," Ewan says between kisses, straddling Jude and rocking against him, "wouldn't be overly concerned with whether I've tidied up or not."

Jude snorts. "I'm not looking...really," he says, grinning. He closes his eyes and holds Ewan, thrusting up against him and soon he couldn't care less about anything else but the silken feel of Ewan's cock against his own and the desire for more. "Ewan... Ewan..." he pants, breaking the kiss. "How do you want to... Can I fuck you?" He opens his eyes and looks directly into Ewan's face. "Please?"

"Yes...God, yes," Ewan moans, reaching blindly for the nightstand and the lube which he knows is in the drawer this time, because he'd put it there this morning after finding it under his pillow, along with an old t-shirt.

Fingers closing around the tube, he sits up a bit, grinning eagerly at Jude. "Like this?" He rolls his hips to illustrate. "You want me to ride you?"

Jude nods enthusiastically. "Please."

Rising up on his knees, Ewan lubes a couple fingers and reaches back to prep himself. An idea strikes him and a grin spreads across his face. Wrapping his hand around his cock and stroking slowly, he fucks himself with his fingers. He half-closes his eyes, watching Jude through the fringe of his lashes. "You want me?" He thrusts in hard, hips rocking forward. "You want this to be you?"

"Yeah..." Jude croaks, dry mouthed and wide eyed. "I want you..." He reaches up for Ewan, fingers trailing over his chest and down to touch lightly on the hand that covers his cock. "I want my dick to be where your fingers are. Want to be inside you, Ewan..."

"Want you, too..." Ewan pats around until he finds the condoms, frowning as he opens first the outer package and then the wrapper. _Finally._ He rolls it over Jude's cock and then inches up into position. His mouth falls open as he sinks down, chest hitching at the burn. "Oh fuck, oh God," he gasps, "so fucking good."

Arching up, Jude just throws his head back, crying out wordlessly as Ewan lowers himself, his cock enclosed in velvet heat. His hands are rigid, searching in the air for something to cling onto and he finally bends forward and grasps Ewan's hips. "God..." he moans, "oh, please, please, fuck me like that...oh yes." Urging Ewan to move, he lifts him, pushing himself down on the bed and then shoving up sharply. He chokes on his words. "Unngggh...so good."

Ewan bites his lip, trembling as he bends forward to clutch Jude's shoulders as he moves. He so close, teetering on the edge as Jude's cock stretches him, rubbing against that spot, and then suddenly it's too much. His teeth slice through the inside of his lip and he grunts, biceps bulging as his grip tightens and then goes slack, the tension running out of him. A drop of blood trickles down his chin and drips onto Jude's chest to mix with his come.

"Oh God..." Jude strains upwards, eyes wide, and then he's coming too, lacing his arms around Ewan's and gripping his shoulders, holding him steady as his hips pump in a few last thrusts. He closes his eyes, gasping for breath as his arms start to shake and then he slowly allows Ewan to sink forward on top of him. "Fuck..." he says weakly, wrapping an arm around Ewan.

There's something odd about Ewan's mouth though, when he looks, and Jude touches it gently, smearing the dark liquid across Ewan's lip. "Hey..." he says nervously. "You all right? This is...this is blood."

Pushing his tongue against his lip curiously, Ewan mumbles, "Jus' bit my lip is all..." He licks the blood away, sucking Jude's finger into his mouth briefly, and then grins. "Not bad, eh?" Lifting himself up to let Jude's softening cock slip out, he flops over onto his side, legs tangling with Jude's. He smiles, sighing contentedly, and says, "I could get used to this."

"Yeah..." Jude says absently. It's a bit cold without Ewan's warmth on top of him. He settles himself more comfortably, pulling the cover up over both of them. "Yeah, 's not bad. I can't believe I was such a wuss about it..."

Something about what Ewan said bothers him though. Jude frowns. _Getting used to this..._ Yeah, he's getting more used to this himself but Ewan sounded like he was envisioning some ongoing routine...even relationship. One that goes beyond mere friendship. "Hey Ewan..." Jude says carefully. "We're mates, right? And we're always going to be mates...aren't we."

"Yeah, of course," Ewan says automatically, not really paying attention. Slowly it dawns on him that that's a rather odd question, and he props himself up on his elbow, frowning down at Jude. "Why?"

"Nothing really," Jude says, idly playing with the hairs on Ewan's arm. "But that's all, isn't it? Just mates?"

"Oh. Oh yeah, definitely," Ewan says quickly. "Just mates, not...nothing like that. Anyway, I'm still shagging other blokes and all..."

"Yeah, me too..." Jude nods earnestly and then, realising what he said, chuckles. "Only girls, of course." He sobers then and smiles sideways at Ewan. "Yeah so...as long as it doesn't get all complicated, you know?"

"Wouldn't want me complicating up your life," Ewan sighs, making a face, and rolls onto his back, muttering under his breath, "First Jonny, now you."

Now it's Jude's turn to prop himself up on his elbow and look down at Ewan. "Jonny have a go at you too, did he? I think he's on to us, you know. I told him he was imagining things but you know how he is."

"That he was imagining what?" Ewan asks. "That we're shagging or that we're...together or something?" It's a small difference, but it feels important, and he stares up at the ceiling, tongue probing relentlessly at the cut on his lip.

"I can't remember what I said to him," Jude says impatiently. "But I got the distinct impression he'd figured out we were shagging, yes. And I suppose in his book that might mean he thinks we're...uh...an item, even though that's not true." He sighs, shaking his head. "He's one of my oldest mates, Ewan. I've known him even longer than you..." Flopping back down next to Ewan, Jude looks up at the ceiling. "It's just a bit weird, that's all," he adds lamely. "What did he say to you then?"

"Just stuff..." Ewan replies, resisting the urge to curl up in a ball. It doesn't help any that Jude's answer is only what he'd expected. His teeth close over the cut and he tastes blood again.

"Asked me if I was doing you up the bum, he did," he adds suddenly, forcing a laugh.

"Christ!" Jude sits up. The blankets pool around his waist and he turns to look at Ewan, half over his shoulder. "I hope you told him no."

"I told him the truth," Ewan says, chewing harder at his lip. "I'm not, am I?"

"None of his business if you were," Jude says sulkily. "Wossit got to do with him anyway...?" He plucks fretfully at the covers and then turns back to look a little harder at Ewan. He seems bothered by something, Jude realises. Probably something Jonny said. "Look," Jude says sympathetically, and lays his hand on Ewan's forearm. "I'm sorry if he gave you a hard time, okay? I'll talk to him. Sort it out."

"He didn't give me a hard time..." Jude's hand feels heavy on his arm and Ewan shrugs it off. "He's just...concerned about you." Rolling his eyes a bit at that, Ewan turns on his side and starts poking Jude randomly. "Anyway, I'm hungry. Have we got anything in the house, d'you suppose?"

"Oi! Cut that out!" Jude fends off Ewan's prodding fingers with his elbows. He laughs, glad to be changing the subject. "And since when do I fix your food for you, you daft git? Who do you think I am? The next Mrs. McGregor?!"

"I didn't say you had to fix it for me," Ewan says, his poking turning to tickling. "Only asked if we had anything."

"Well, how would I know?!" Jude laughs, squirming on the bed but making no real attempt to get away. "We should have got something at the shop... All right, all right... How about we go look. There might be some baked beans or something."

"All right, then," Ewan says, giving Jude's arse a pinch as he scrambles up off the bed and heads out to the kitchen, picking up the bags of beer in the corridor on his way. "You'd better be right," he growls, trying to sound threatening. "I don't want to've got up for nothing."

Padding down the corridor to the kitchen, Jude wonders if he should go find some shorts or something. After all, someone might see them through the windows. But that's pretty unlikely, and besides, the lack of clothing doesn't seem to worry Ewan. Not that it ever does. By the time Jude gets to the kitchen, Ewan is already digging in the fridge, the light from the open door casting his naked body in a pale bluish light that makes him seem like some sprite of the night, straight from A Midsummer Night's Dream. He looks beautiful like that. Jude clears his throat. "Well? You find anything?"

"Actually, yeah," Ewan says, quite pleased with his find. "We've sausages, and look!" Grinning, he waves a half-full saucepan at Jude. "Porridge."

"You can fix the sausages if you like," he says, leaving the fridge open and putting the porridge on the stove. He turns on the gas and then looks around for a spoon. "It's from last Sunday, but it should still be good," he says optimistically. "I'd forgotten all about it."

Jude shudders. "I think I'll give the porridge a miss, thanks." He starts opening the packet of sausages, using his teeth on the suddenly tough plastic wrap. "These are supposed to be for breakfast, you know...but what the heck. Might as well cook them up now. And I'm sure there's eggs as well, somewhere." He grins at Ewan. "How about that then, breakfast at midnight. Only with beer instead of coffee..."

"Sure, why not?" Giving up on finding a clean spoon, Ewan takes a dirty one from the sink and washes it up, shaking the excess water off at Jude. He grins. "Besides, I'm not gonna go hungry just cause someone else decided this is breakfast food."

Pottering around the kitchen, Jude manages to round up some eggs and a frying pan, while simultaneously avoiding falling over Ewan. "I wonder if it's wise to fry sausages naked," he muses aloud. When Ewan turns to him and looks him up and down, he starts to giggle. "I could wear an apron. Cover my sensitive bits. I'd look like a right fairy. Mrs. McGregor indeed." Jude laughs at the very idea, and then another thought occurs to him "So...are you going to stay single for the rest of your life? Or would you like...have one of those fake marriages, you know...just for the sake of your career."

"No way," Ewan says, wrinkling his nose. He stirs the porridge, poking his finger in to see if it's warm enough. Satisfied that it is, he takes it off the stove and scoots out of the way so Jude can fry his sausages. "Would you?" Still standing, he starts eating directly out of the saucepan and continues with his mouth full, "I mean, not like that, but I mean marry someone you didn't really fancy just to help your career. Anyway," he adds as an afterthought, "not getting married doesn't mean I have to be single. You make it sound like I'll be some lonely old man or something."

"So you'd take up with a guy, would you?" Jude says, turning the sausages in the pan. He nods to himself, considering that. "And no...I suppose I wouldn't marry someone just to get ahead. Shag someone, maybe... I don't know. I never really thought about it. You want a couple of eggs?"

Already more than halfway through his porridge, Ewan eyes the eggs hungrily. "Yeah, sure, if you don't mind." His gaze slides downward, coming to rest on Jude's arse. _I wonder if he'd freak out if I tried rimming him._

"You might shag someone, eh?" he says, eyes still on that perfect arse, mind half occupied with wondering how he'd taste, the sounds he'd make. He shifts his weight, conscious that he's starting to get hard again but not overly concerned. "I might...only they'd probably all be fat and old, the blokes I'd have to shag. And it's sort of...well, I'd like to think I could get the roles I wanted on my talent," he pauses, grinning, "and I don't mean my talent in bed. So, you know..."

"Yeah, yeah." Jude nods. The sausages are nearly done and the eggs are cooking nicely. "Any clean plates?" he says, looking around, before continuing, "And while I might think about shagging someone for a role... I'd like to think I wouldn't have to either. Depends on the situation, I suppose. But no fat and old blokes."

Putting his saucepan down on the counter, Ewan gets two plates out of the cupboard and holds them out. "Here."

"Thanks," Jude mutters and serves out the food. He jumps backwards when a sausage goes skittering towards the edge of the plate, threatening to fly off and hit him, but he manages to get everything on the plates without injury. Handing Ewan the salt and ketchup, he picks up the plates. "Where'd you want to eat this?"

Grabbing a couple beers from the fridge, Ewan shrugs. "Sofa? Bed? Doesn't matter to me."

"Breakfast in bed then," Jude says, grinning. "It's too cold out here, unless I go get some clothes on. Lead the way."

"Oh no, don't put clothes on," Ewan says. "I'm admiring." To prove his point, he walks backwards through the front room, keeping his eyes on Jude, barring the occasional glance back to make sure he's not about to trip over or run into anything.

"You dirty letch," Jude says, but he plays along, posing a little as he walks. Even if it's just Ewan, it's nice to be appreciated. And Ewan seems to be appreciating him quite nicely. It's early yet, Jude thinks, eyeing Ewan up and down.

Once back in the room, Jude waits for Ewan to clamber back into the bed before handing the plates and scooting in next to him. He's hungry, he realises and he tucks in eagerly. It might be completely the wrong hour of the day for breakfast, but Jude can't think of a better place to eat it. "One good thing about sausages," he observes airily, waving his fork, "is that there are no crumbs. Excellent breakfast in bed food."

"So is porridge," Ewan says a bit huffily. "And it tasted just fine, too. Oh well, it was more for me. Anyway," he continues, taking another bite of egg, "these are quite good."

"I'm not...casting aspersions on your Scottish heritage." Jude laughs, chasing the last of his egg around the plate with a piece of sausage. "I just thought the porridge was a bit past its sell by date. Oh well, at least you put it out of its misery. So...where's that beer," he adds, looking around for somewhere to put his empty plate. "I need something to wash down all that meaty goodness."

Ewan leers at Jude as he hands him one of the beers. In a seedy voice he says, "I'd like to wash down your meaty goodness," but ruins it at the end by dissolving into a fit of giggles.

Trying not to snort his beer, Jude laughs at him. "Like I said, you're a dirty letch." He grins and shakes his head. "I'm racking my brains here for some dreadful double entendre about sausages but nothing's coming up." He hoots with laughter. "Well, not yet, anyway!"

Still giggling, Ewan says, "Not yet, eh? We'll have to do something about that, then." But he doesn't yet. He just reaches down to put his empty plate on the floor and then settles himself comfortably, lying on his side next to Jude. This is nice, he thinks, sipping his beer. It's comfortable and easy and joking around and sexy. Perfect. He doesn't want that to change, ever.

Smiling, Jude catches Ewan's eye. He's on the verge of saying something silly or lighthearted but the look on Ewan's face stops him. If Ewan was a...girlfriend or something like that, he would probably say something dippy and embarrassing instead. But he can't. Not to Ewan. That would be even more embarrassing. Jude bites his lip, uncomfortably warm all of a sudden, but he can't stop looking back at Ewan. Slowly, half wondering what the hell he is doing, he leans in to brush a soft kiss across Ewan's lips.

Hooking his forearm, beer bottle and all, around Jude's neck, Ewan returns the kiss. Soft at first, it soon deepens as his tongue flicks out over Jude's lips, demanding entrance. Jude tastes of sausages and ketchup and beer.

With a clatter of cutlery, Jude's plate tumbles to the floor as he scrambles to press himself bodily against Ewan. He stretches out, full length against him, hip against hip, chest against chest, lips dragging wetly over lips. The beer gets in the way so Jude pulls away briefly to swig some down and then set the bottle aside before once more rolling eagerly into Ewan's arms, slinging one leg over his knee and wrapping himself around him.

Ewan, too, leans over to set his beer on the nightstand, just barely able to reach. The bottle teeters on the edge, but he doesn't care, not with Jude pressed against him like this. He pushes his thigh between Jude's legs and kisses him again. It's an odd sort of mood, halfway fierce and halfway lazy, his hands sliding slowly down Jude's back even as his mouth can't seem to move fast enough. Jude's teeth catch on his sore lip and Ewan whimpers because it feels so good.

"Sorry," Jude murmurs against his skin, and gently kisses the corner of his mouth.

"Sorry? Oh, lip... No," Ewan mumbles, "don't be." He pauses then, unsure what he means to say. _It hurt, but in a good way. I liked it. Do it again._ But instead, he says, "Didn't hurt."

"Tough guy," Jude says, affectionately teasing, and kisses along Ewan's jaw. Lovely as it is to be held by Ewan this way, there's a growing urgency in his movements as he rocks against Ewan's body. His hand steals down, crushed between their writhing bodies and grasps Ewan's erection, pressing it against his own. "Yeah..." he breathes, "...yeah..."

Burying his head in Jude's shoulder, Ewan thrusts into his fist, loving the feel of their cocks held so tightly together, of skin sliding against skin. His hands wander down to rest on Jude's arse, pulling him closer, fingers slipping between his cheeks to stroke the puckered skin of his hole.

Jude's eyes fly open. He stills, staring over Ewan's shoulder, the muscles of his arse tensing at the tentative touch. Already he is panting rapidly, his breath coming fast and shallow. Whether it's fear or arousal, Jude doesn't know. He's hard, so very hard and there's something so very decadent and thrilling about being fingered so intimately. And the fear that Ewan might go further is part of the thrill. His grip tightening, Jude thrusts gently against Ewan's cock and as he rocks back he allows Ewan's fingers to brush over his entrance once more. He gasps wordlessly and does it again.

Encouraged, Ewan increases the pressure, just the very tip of his index finger sliding in. Jude's muscles clench tightly, but he doesn't say to stop, so Ewan just waits, still stroking gently with his other fingers until finally Jude relaxes, and then he presses in a little further. This is good; he likes this, likes hearing Jude's harsh breathing in his ear and the small sounds of pleasure that escape his lips as he rocks back against Ewan's finger.

"Oh God..." Jude whimpers, his voice high and desperate. All sensation in his body, the pleasure of his dick sliding alongside Ewan's is almost forgotten as his focus narrows to that finger slipping inside him. He can't think what to say, what to do. He can feel his body's resistance slowly melting as Ewan pushes in further and further, and he rocks against Ewan harder and harder, but he's getting more and more nervous. What if he's not...clean? How humiliating would that would be. He whimpers again and tenses up. He can't help it. But he doesn't want Ewan to stop.

"'s all right," Ewan murmurs, his hand smoothing across Jude's back. He can't move his finger much now, not with Jude so tight and without even spit to help him. He does wiggle it a bit, as much as he can, and he kisses Jude's neck softly, soothingly, his lips forming words barely audible, reassuring him. Trying to get him to relax.

Again Jude whimpers, his free hand digging into Ewan's shoulder. He shifts slightly, sliding his leg further over Ewan's, opening up to him a little more. He still can't bring himself to ask for more. He just wants to...let it happen, whatever it is that's happening. _He's shoving a finger up your arse, that's what's happening._ "Oh God..." Jude moans and closes his eyes, surrendering to the sensation.

Ewan smiles, pressing in further as Jude relaxes. It's thrilling to hear him, to feel the way his body reacts, to know he's the first person to ever touch Jude this way, to show him how good it can be. He crooks his finger forward, feeling for that sensitive spot, and then he hears Jude gasp and his smile widens, knowing he's found it. Jude's muscles tense, clenching around his finger, holding it in place, and he presses again, thrusting hard into Jude's hand at the same time.

With a shocked moan, Jude thrusts hard against Ewan. Back and forth. It's like fucking twice. Twice as fucking good. Push forward, tightening and straining, push backwards, opening and accepting and _Oh!_ the tingling sensation is building, sweeping over him. He bites down hard on Ewan's shoulder to stifle his cry as he comes and comes.

"Oh...oh God..." Ewan arches his back, eyes snapping open as everything happens all at once. Jude's cock pulsing against his own, Jude's muscles spasming around his finger, Jude's teeth digging into his skin, and Ewan's own orgasm seconds later, rushing through him as his hips snap forward one more time.

Breathless, he wraps his arms around Jude, clinging tightly until he realises what he's doing and scoots back a bit. They're still tangled up together, just not so...well, Ewan doesn't know how they were, but they're not so that way anymore. He scoots back a little further, patting Jude lightly on the shoulder and draping an arm loosely around his waist.

Barely able to move, Jude just lies there, his limbs floppy and seemingly unconnected to his brain. That was incredible...and uncomfortable to think about. At least Ewan has pulled his finger away. Jude shifts, bonelessly rolling to lie close to Ewan but not quite snuggled up against him. "You bastard," he murmurs, but it's without heat, and he squeezes Ewan's waist to show he doesn't mean it. Vague thoughts of perhaps returning to his own bed flit through his mind but he's comfortable where he is. Slowly his breathing returns to normal and he sighs happily. "Wow."

"Yeah..." Ewan grins. "Feels good, eh?"

"Yeah...well, it worked," Jude says, dragging a hand idly over his belly, knowing that by tomorrow it will have dried into a sticky mess. He sighs, too relaxed and comfortable to do anything about cleaning up just now. "Weird...but yeah, it was okay."

From "wow" to "it was okay". Somehow Ewan's not surprised. He thinks back, trying to remember if he'd ever thought it was weird. Maybe once, when he first found out that's how blokes have sex. Must have, then. But he can't really remember when that would have been; it seems now like he's just always known, but someone must have told him once. _Maybe Jude just needs time to get used to the idea, too_ , and that makes him feel a little better.

"Hey," he says, squirming out from under Jude's leg. "Hey, I gotta go piss." He gets up carefully, shoving the plates under the bed with his heel so they don't get stepped on, and makes his way to the bathroom.

Groaning, Jude rolls over to let Ewan get up. He rubs a tired hand over his forehead and wonders if he should follow him. He knows he could do with a clean-up. And maybe he shouldn't have said it was "weird" after all those times he'd done the same to Ewan and more. He'd just meant that it had felt weird to him, good but somehow invasive. He sighs again. Perhaps he should explain that to Ewan...but that would be awkward and put a real damper on things. Better leave it til next time. And the thought of 'next time' sends a little jolt of anticipation through him. _Yeah, next time._

Swinging his legs off the bed, Jude stands and follows Ewan into the bathroom. He shudders a little when he sees Ewan is carefully washing his hands. _Oh...yeah._ Grabbing a cloth, he wets it and starts to scrub himself down, not sure what to say.

Ewan wipes his soapy hands down his chest and belly and then dries it all off with a towel. Good enough for now. Anyway, most of his come had already got wiped off on the blankets. "Did you need the toilet, too?" he asks, standing aside a bit to let Jude pass if that's the case.

He wonders if he should hang around or just go back to bed, and if he does, will Jude follow him or go back to his own room? He's not sure how he feels either way; he's sort of got used to sleeping with Jude afterwards, not all the time by any means, but more than he's ever done with anyone else before. Of course he's never shagged anyone as many times as he has Jude, so maybe that's not a good comparison. But still. It's comfortable somehow, in a way it never is with other blokes. Maybe because they're such good mates.

"I should clean my teeth," he says abruptly, glad to have thought of an excuse not to leave first.

"Nah, I'm fine," Jude says. He looks at his toothbrush, wondering if he should clean his teeth too but there's not that much room at the sink. He can do it in the morning. Standing there uncertainly, he isn't sure where he should go next. With a sinking feeling Jude realises that Ewan might not want him in his bed all night, taking up space, stealing blankets, rubbing up against him in his sleep. Best to give him some space and not presume. He reaches out and brushes his fingers over the small of Ewan's back. "Well, goodnight then."

"Night," Ewan says automatically, spitting out his toothpaste. When he looks up to see Jude heading the wrong direction out the door, he quashes his disappointment and quickly turns back to the sink, taking a drink of water and dragging the back of his hand across his mouth to wipe the foam away.

"Yeah, all right...g'night, then," he calls out, flicking off the light and making his way back to his own room.

Settling into his own bed, Jude spreads himself out comfortably, relishing the feel of crisp clean sheets against his heated skin. Poor old Ewan will have to make do with a sweaty, rumpled bed, he thinks to himself. Funny how that wouldn't seem so bad if he was sharing, Ewan sleeping next to him all night. _Oh well..._ Rolling over onto his belly, Jude slides an arm over his pillow, pushing aside the small achy pang of loneliness. He's only being daft and it's too late for that rubbish. Closing his eyes, Jude buries his head in his pillow and is soon asleep.

Back in his room, Ewan mills around, picking up clothes and piling them on the chair in the corner. When that's done, he straightens the blankets, putting the lube back in the drawer and taking a swig of one of the beers - he's not sure whose. It tastes weird after having just cleaned his teeth, but he drinks the rest of it anyway. He turns off the light finally and sits down on the bed. The rest of the flat is dark and he knows Jude has probably already long since gone to sleep, so he gets under the covers slowly and curls up on his side, but it's a long time before he falls asleep.


	8. With a Bang

It's that twilight in-between time where it's not quite dark, but not quite light either, and you have to squint to see much of anything. Ewan's been out all day, just hanging around without much to show for it and now he's eager to get home and relax. Eager to see Jude, too, though he doesn't dwell on that.

He stops at the supermarket on the way, meaning to get more beer and maybe something to eat as well. There's probably food of some sort back at the flat, but who knows if it's the edible sort. Then the fireworks catch his eye and immediately he's calculating how many he can buy if he skips on dinner. Maybe Jude will have bought food. Even if not, surely there's at least something tinned at home, because he doesn't want to do without the beer and he's much too excited about the idea of setting off fireworks with Jude now not to buy any.

So he puts back the sausages and the loaf of bread and the milk and fills his basket with rockets and roman candles and sparklers instead. And beer. The beer's not going anywhere. He pays for it all with less than a pound to spare, but it'll be worth it. It'll be fun.

He's practically bouncing the rest of the way back to the flat, and he calls out loudly as he unlocks the door, "Jude? You home?"

"Yeah, yeah...in here," Jude calls from the kitchen. He looks up as Ewan bounds in. "Was just thinking about making something to eat, only there's not much here." He closes the fridge door with a thump and then spots Ewan's carrier bags. "Oh, you been shopping? You get anything edible?"

"Erm...beer?" Ewan grins sheepishly. "I was hoping we had something here, actually." The bottles clink as he puts the bags with the beer on the table. He hefts the other bag and holds it out. "What do you suppose I got instead?"

"Uh..." Jude has a worrying suspicion he can guess what Ewan has got but he plays along, pretending to think hard. "The complete works of Shakespeare? A month's supply of condoms? My Christmas present?" He smiles slightly. "Go on then...tell me."

"Ooh, a month's supply of condoms. You gonna help me use 'em up if it is?"

"Well, anything to help out a mate," Jude says with a smirk. "Wouldn't like to see them go to waste... No, seriously, what's in the bag?" He pounces, snatching at the bag in Ewan's fingers. "Let's have a look."

"No, you've gotta guess." Ewan laughs and holds it up, standing on tiptoe to try to keep it away from Jude. They're struggling and Jude's trying to get the bag from his fingers, and it's so tempting to just lean forward those few inches and kiss him. Instead he gives in. "All right, all right," he says, laughing still, and pushes Jude away, dumping the contents of the bag onto the table. "Tada!"

"Ooh, rockets... Brilliant!" Poking gingerly with his finger, Jude examines the merchandise. "And...what's this? Golden fountain? That's one of them ones you stick on the ground..." he waves his arm vaguely, "and it sends up a load of sparks. Oh that's fabulous!" Jude frowns a little. "But where are you going to set them off?"

"In the street. Wherever. Doesn't matter, does it?" Ewan says, grinning and still bouncing a bit. "And I bought them for you, too, you know?"

Jude laughs and shakes his head a little. "Well...okay...you got to let me do one of the rockets, okay? Shall we... Oh, wait. We need a milk bottle to stand them up in. And it's a bit early. I've got some cash. You want to go get some fish and chips first?"

"Mmm," Ewan says, wrapping his arms around Jude and hugging him from behind. "You're a lifesaver. I thought I was going to have to starve, but fish and chips would be brilliant. Ta." He does kiss Jude now, just a quick peck on the cheek, but he has an excuse, at least in his head, and that makes it feel less like...well, like whatever it is he finds himself feeling all too often lately. And after the fireworks maybe they'll fuck and then he can kiss Jude as much as he wants without feeling weird.

"Well, seems fair. I provide the food, you provide the entertainment," Jude says, smiling. He leans back, enjoying the quick hug. But Ewan's arms don't drop away immediately and Jude feels a little odd, like he's being held back somehow. He reaches forward for his wallet on the kitchen bench, breaking Ewan's hold. "Come on then. Let's go get food."

"Oh, I'll provide entertainment all right." Ewan leers and smacks Jude's arse as they head out.

"Promises, promises..." Jude mutters, grinning. With growing excitement he feels sure Ewan's idea of entertainment is not going to end with just a few fireworks. Even better. Guilty at pulling away, Jude turns and plants a swift sloppy open-mouthed kiss on Ewan's lips. "I'll hold you to that," he says, his voice lowering a notch. "Let's go."

* * *

It's fully dark by the time they stumble back in; has been for hours. The fish and chips needed a beer to wash them down and one beer turned into several. It takes Jude several tries to fit the key in the lock, Ewan cheering him on ironically when he finally swings the door open.

"'m not pissed," Jude says, with barely a slur. "It's just dark that's all..." Grumbling a little he leads the way up to the flat. "I uh...you think we ought to leave the fireworks until tomorrow? It's a bit late..."

"Don't be daft," Ewan says cheerfully, pushing Jude into the kitchen. "It's not the same if we do it tomorrow. Anyway, there'll likely be some leftover, so we can do both." He starts picking up the fireworks and putting them back in the bag. "Oh...I forgot to put the beer in the fridge. Is there any left in there?"

"Oh...maybe. We can pop the others in the freezer for a bit." Jude opens the fridge and frowns. "Just one..." He grabs it and hides it behind his back. "Mine."

"No faaaaair!" Ewan wails, but he's grinning as he edges towards Jude, trying very unsuccessfully to look innocent and unthreatening. "You'll share it with us, won't you?"

Jude shakes his head. "Nope. I'm enjoying the sight of you standing there looking miserable. Tears rolling down your cheeks... Oi!"

He snatches the beer away as Ewan makes a dive for it. "Mine...all mine." Backing away, Jude dangles the beer teasingly. "I was going to share but if you're going to be like that..."

"Wanker!" Ewan laughs, dropping the bag of fireworks to the ground and tackling Jude from behind as he tries to make a dash for the front room. Jude holds the bottle high in the air, standing on tiptoe, and Ewan, one arm wrapped around Jude's chest, is just exactly the wrong height to be able to grab it from him. "Gimmeeee!"

"Ha ha, not a chance!" Jude squirms, exhilarated. "You have to fight me for it!"

No matter how Ewan hops, the damn bottle is always just out of reach, so he changes tactics. "Fine," he says, tickling Jude. "But I don't fight fair."

"Aargh!" Jude is giggling in earnest now. He twists to elbow Ewan in the ribs but he doesn't put much force behind it. His arm brushes ineffectively along Ewan's chest. "You fucking cheat!" Still holding the bottle high, Jude continues to turn until he's facing Ewan and can tickle him back. "Two can play at that game." He laughs and grabs Ewan's arse, pinching hard.

"Ow," Ewan says without much conviction. He's almost forgotten about the beer, though he makes another half-hearted grab for it with one hand while working the other up under Jude's shirt, only sort of tickling now. He's breathless and dizzy and giggly and he knows it's because he's drunk, but it could be just because he's so close to Jude. His fingers still and his hand slides down to Jude's waist and he leans in to kiss him.

Slowly, Jude lowers his arm until it's wrapped around Ewan's neck, pulling him closer as he kisses back hungrily. The beer bottle dangles forgotten in his hand. The other rubs Ewan's backside in small intimate circles. Jude's getting hard and he can feel Ewan firming as they press together. Eventually, Jude pulls back. "So..." he says breathlessly. "We gonna fuck? Or are we going to light these rockets?"

"Rockets...yeah, for now." Ewan disentangles himself reluctantly and goes back into the kitchen, scooping up the dropped fireworks and putting the beer in the fridge. He can hear footsteps behind him; Jude's followed him in. "Oh, milk bottle or something. Have we got anything?" he asks, balling up the empty bags and tossing them in the bin.

"Uh...maybe in the bin." Jude makes a face, revolted at the idea of digging through rubbish to find an empty bottle. He holds out the beer. "Here, help me finish this and we can use this one."

"It's mine now," Ewan crows gleefully, snatching the bottle from Jude. He pops it open and downs about half of it before handing it back with a flourish. He grins. "But I'm generous, so I'll share."

"Wanker..." Jude mutters, taking the bottle and swigging. He manages most of the rest and hands Ewan the bottle back with a couple of mouthfuls left in it. "So, you got matches? Let's take these outside."

"I've got my lighter," Ewan says, finishing off the beer. "All right, then." Wrapping one arm around Jude's waist and planting a kiss on his neck, Ewan hangs on Jude, causing him to stumble a bit as they make their way through the front room. "Out back?"

"Yeah...the back garden." Jude smiles at the idea of describing the weed choked patch of dirt and gravel where they park the dustbin as a 'garden'. "Remember...I baggsed one of those rockets."

"Sure." Ewan grins, letting go of Jude as he clatters down the stairs. "You can have as many as you want. Just not all of 'em," he adds.

In the back yard, Jude kicks a few weeds out of the way and holds his hand out for the bottle. "We can put it here, I reckon," he says, eyeing the dirt critically. "Or do you want to start with something else, huh?"

"Why don't we save the rockets for last?" Ewan says, dumping everything out of the bag again. "Go out with a bang, and all that." He squats down, picking out one of the Roman candles and setting it down on the ground between them. Digging his lighter out of his pocket, he holds it out to Jude, grinning. "Want to do the honours?"

"Don't have to ask me twice," Jude says eagerly, grabbing for the lighter. He glances around, noticing that it's very quiet. "Hey...you don't think it's a bit late for this, do you?"

"Oh, come on. Don't be a spoilsport." Ewan reaches out as if to grab the lighter back. "Here, if you're not gonna do it, let me."

"No!" Jude snatches the lighter back out of reach. "And I'm not a spoilsport, I just...oh, what the heck." Motioning Ewan away with his other hand, he lights the fuse and then jumps back. "What's this one supposed to do anyway?" he asks, realising it's a little bit late for questions now.

"Er...that," Ewan says, as the fuse burns down and the candle goes off with a bang, shooting up a blast of sparks.

"Brilliant!" Jude is even more excited now, his eyes shining as he watches the sparks fly. As the firework slowly fizzes out he turns eagerly towards Ewan. "What's the next one?"

It takes a few seconds before Ewan realises he's being spoken to, he's so wrapped up in watching Jude. "Oh, um..." He squats down again, scrambling to collect his thoughts. "We've got...erm, more of the candles, or I got a couple fountains as well. We could do those. Or there's always sparklers." He keeps his eyes on the fireworks in his hands, as if not looking at Jude now will somehow cancel out the fact that he was staring before. "Not very exciting, sparklers, but still fun, yeah? Your choice."

"Save the sparklers til after!" Jude is leaning over Ewan as he digs in the bag, a hand on Ewan's shoulder. "Gimme another of those candles...and a fountain. Let's put it on the wall..." He laughs, delighted. "Let's light up the neighbourhood!"

"Brilliant." Ewan hands Jude a candle and a fountain and then gets the last two candles set up on the ground in front of him. Anything to keep himself busy and not thinking. Especially not thinking about Jude. What is there to think about anyway? He's a good mate, a brilliant shag, and that's it. That's all there is to it. Right. "Here, hurry up, I need the lighter," he says, jumping up and joining Jude at the wall.

"Okay..." Jude holds out the lighter and then, just as Ewan reaches out for it, snatches it away again. He grins, teasing Ewan before finally dropping the lighter in his outstretched hand. "Here you are then. Don't say I don't share." Standing back, Jude makes room for Ewan to light the next fuse. "Come on then..." he says, imperiously. "What are you waiting for?"

Ewan lights the fuse, grabbing Jude's arm and pulling him back as the fountain sends a shower of sparks into the air. "Here, let's get those candles going, too." He looks from the one in Jude's hand to the two lined up on the ground. "All of 'em at once."

"You're evil!" Jude laughs delightedly, entranced by Ewan's roguish grin and the way his eyes glitter with mischief in the dim light. Carried along in the same spirit of child-like glee, Jude decides he doesn't even care about annoying the neighbours. He looks up and spots a couple of small heads, peering through a second floor window nearby. He grins again and waves at the children. "All right then...go on. We have an audience."

"An audience, eh?" Ewan turns and waves at the kids as well. "Mustn't let them down, then." He quickly grabs the other fountain and gets it going next first. With those burning on the wall behind them, Ewan sets up the third candle and then lights them all, bouncing excitedly as he waits for them to go off.

"Whoo!" Jude shrieks at the first bang. He pumps his fist in the air and yells out. "Fucking brilliant!" Grabbing Ewan's elbow, he waits for the others to explode.

They go off one right after the other, leaving Ewan's ears ringing and the small garden grey with smoke. "Now for the rockets!" he yells, tossing the lighter to Jude with a grin. He places the empty beer bottle on the ground and hands Jude two of the four rockets. "Two for you and two for me. You first."

Jude kneels and, scrabbling around in the dirt, seats the empty bottle firmly. He's just setting the first rocket in place when a window flies open in one of the houses behind.

"Oi!" The man's voice is angry. "There are children trying to sleep here."

Jude hesitates momentarily, his fingers fumbling with the lighter. Looking up again, he can still see the kids in the other window, peering out. He lights the fuse. "Go back to bed, you old fogey!" he yells and scrambles backwards, giggling.

"That's the spirit." Ewan punches him on the shoulder. The rocket shoots up into the air and explodes with a burst of colour. He can see it out of the corner of his eye, but really he's watching Jude again. He tells himself it's only because he knows they're going to shag after.

Turning away quickly, he drops to his knees and sets up the next rocket. "My turn next."

"Here you go then." Jude hands him the lighter, watching as Ewan's capable hands make short work of getting the rocket ready and lighting the fuse. He looks like he knows what he's doing, Jude thinks, unlike his own fumbling efforts. He's probably had more practice. Jude stands back, watching the fuse burn down, winking at Ewan when Ewan looks at him again.

"I'll call the cops, I will!" the voice calls out again.

"Oh, fuck off!" Ewan yells, grinning madly and waving both arms in the air as he flips the man off. The rocket goes off with a bang, and when it quiets down again, he adds gleefully, "It's our patriotic fucking duty!" He's not even looking to see if the man's even there or listening anymore. He doesn't care.

Laughing, he grabs Jude around the waist from behind and tries to swing him about. "All right, your turn again."

"Whoo!" Jude says breathlessly, feeling happy and giddy. He staggers slightly as Ewan sets him down, leaning against him heavily. "Shame we haven't got two bottles. We could set 'em off at the same time." Jude is carefully placing the wooden stick of the rocket in the bottle. He flicks the lighter and concentrates as the flame licks the stringy fuse. "Next year, eh? Do it properly..."

Jude steps back and Ewan shouts to be heard over the noise of the rocket. "Yeah, next year!"

Ewan sets up the final rocket next, glancing up to see the kids still watching from the window, but the man seems to have given up. Or maybe gone to call the cops, but he doubts that was anything more than an idle threat.

Gripping Ewan's arm, Jude watches the trail of the last rocket climbing into the night sky, holding his breath until it finally explodes, showering green and gold sparks over the rooftops. "Ooooh..." he murmurs. "You saved the best til last. It's brilliant. So much better than going to the public display." He smiles gently at Ewan. "It's so much more fun when you do it yourself."

"Yeah," Ewan turns to Jude, placing one hand on his shoulder and kissing him softly, "brilliant."

Jude laughs, leaning in for a swift kiss but then he pulls away. He tugs at Ewan's arm. "Come on...someone might see."

"It's dark," Ewan says, pushing Jude into the shadows, "no one'll see anything." When they're backed up against the wall, he leans in for another kiss, murmuring, "Come on..."

"All right... All right..." Jude is breathing hard, panicking a little, even as he wraps his arms around Ewan and presses close to him. His eyes dart from window to window, needing to be certain they are not being watched. There's no one around but still Jude can feel his heart thumping in his chest, his fingers clenching in the back of Ewan's jumper, his cock hardening with the exhilaration as he grinds against Ewan's hip. "Not here..." he murmurs weakly, but he makes no move to pull away, sagging backwards against the wall and pulling Ewan with him. The shallow breaths can't come quick enough.

"Not here what?" Ewan murmurs between kisses. He's hard now, too. Didn't take much; he's been half-hard ever since they got out here. One hand slides up under Jude's shirt; the other curls around the back of his neck. "We're only," he sucks Jude's lower lip into his mouth and then moans, "only kissing..."

"Yeah..." Jude breathes, in between long strokes of his tongue into Ewan's mouth. "Only kissing." He slides his hands down under the hem of the jumper to cup Ewan's denim clad backside and jerks Ewan's hips hard up against his own. "Just...kissing."

Ewan groans, clutching at Jude as they thrust against each other. "God... God, want you..."

"Me too..." Jude says shakily. He closes his eyes, leaning back against the wall again and slides a hand around to cup Ewan's erection. He breathes for a moment and then squeezes. "Want this." Opening his eyes again, he fixes Ewan with a sly grin and reaches for the button at his waistband, flicking it open and then tugging his jeans apart. "Want you."

"Yeah, all right," Ewan mumbles. He's more than a little surprised; hell, he's surprised that Jude even allowed the snogging out here. But he's not about to complain, no. Pulling Jude around so he's the one against the wall now, Ewan grins and shoves his own jeans further down around his thighs. "Go on, then," he says, shivering a little with cold and excitement.

Carefully, Jude lowers himself to his knees, rubbing his hands against Ewan's thighs for warmth. The skin in the hollow of Ewan's hip is warm and soft and he just rubs a cool cheek there, just touching gently as he snakes a tongue out to lick at Ewan's erection. His breath curls around the shaft, faintly visible in the chilly air. It's too cold to hang about so, with a quick upward smile, Jude swirls his tongue around the tip of Ewan's cock, just once, and then eagerly sucks it down. He can feel the heat rising from Ewan's belly as he works his mouth up and down along the shaft.

"Oh...ohh..." Ewan leans back against the wall, hips jutting forward. He's biting his lip and trying to stay quiet. Jude's mouth is impossibly hot after the cold air, his hands warming Ewan's skin wherever he touches, and Ewan's moans get a little louder, a little more urgent. "Love this," he whispers, carding his fingers through Jude's hair, "so fucking much."

Jude hums in agreement. The cold is seeping into his knees but he's not worried about that, not when Ewan is moaning and stroking his hair and clearly loving it. His jeans are uncomfortably tight and the zip is pressing painfully into his erection so he sneaks a hand down, undoes his fly and starts to stroke himself in time with Ewan's thrusts into his mouth. He must be getting good at this, he thinks with a small burst of pride, because Ewan's groans are loud enough for Jude to start worrying about being spotted again. "Shhhh..." he murmurs and winks up at Ewan.

Ewan grins down at him. "Sorry," he mouths, but Jude has already turned his attention back to the task at hand, eyes closed and forehead creased in concentration. Letting his head fall back, Ewan closes his eyes as well, focusing on the glide of Jude's lips and the way his tongue presses hard against the underside of Ewan's cock. He can feel his balls tighten under Jude's fingers, hips jerking as he strains to get that last needed bit of friction, and he forgets to warn Jude that he's about to come.

So caught up in licking and sucking, Jude is taken by surprise when Ewan stiffens, his cock pulsing, and Jude's throat is suddenly flooded with something warm and sticky. He chokes, vaguely shocked, and swallows automatically. _Fuck!_ Without thinking Jude starts to pull away. His fingers dig into Ewan's thighs as he fights for control. It's already too late. He might as well keep swallowing, even though only the head of Ewan's cock is in his mouth now.

This is brilliant. He's doing it, actually doing it, swallowing Ewan's come. Jude is thrilled. The taste is saltier than he remembered and damn, it's thick and hard to swallow, not going down easily. Gagging again, his eyes watering, Jude just can't swallow the last mouthful. He holds it in his mouth, keeping quite still until Ewan finally shudders and slumps back against the wall.

Still breathing heavily, Ewan opens his eyes and looks down at Jude. Hair mussed and eyes shining, Jude is looking up at him. There's a trickle of white running out of the corner of his mouth and he's got his jeans undone, one hand wrapped loosely around his cock, and it's possibly the sexiest fucking sight Ewan's ever seen.

He sinks down, one hand on Jude's shoulder for balance, and leans in to lick him clean. The lick turns into a kiss and there's his own come still hot in Jude's mouth and he moans, reaching between them for Jude's cock.

"Unnngh..." Jude groans, lifting his hips to push himself into Ewan's hand. It's cold, he's beginning to shiver and he's still gagging as the last of the sticky semen refuses to slide down his throat. The salty taste fills his mouth, the smell sharp in his nose and he pulls away from Ewan's lips. "Wait...wait... I'm sorry," he says and spits. "It's...all a bit..."

"Oh." And then it hits Ewan what just happened. "Fuck, I'm sorry... I didn't think..." Jude doesn't seem angry, though, not at all. So that's good at least. "I know you don't like..."

"No, no...it was good." Jude pushes his tongue over the roof of his mouth and smacks his lips, trying to get the strange taste out of his mouth. Or at least make it feel less strange. "I don't...it's a bit funny but..." Looking directly into Ewan's eyes, Jude can't restrain a beaming grin, and his own growing sense of accomplishment. "I swallowed your come, Ewan... I did it."

"You did at that." Ewan laughs. It's fucking surreal, is what it is. They're crouched down in the back garden and Jude is...boasting about swallowing his come. He leans in again, lips just barely brushing over Jude's. "Let's go upstairs."

"Yeah...yeah. Bed." Nodding, Jude is already tucking himself back into his trousers. "It's too fucking cold out here. Help me up here. I think my knees are frozen to the ground." He laughs, high on excitement and then suddenly looks around. "Oh God...you think anyone heard?"

"Nah," Ewan says, helping him up. "Who cares anyway? Fuck 'em all."

Jude laughs again. It's brilliant that Ewan doesn't care. Sometimes he wishes he could be so blasé. "Yeah, fuck 'em. God... I can't feel my feet." Sliding an arm around Ewan's waist, Jude leans against him heavily. "I need warming up. Take me to bed."

"Pushy, aren't we?" Ewan grins. "We forgot the sparklers," he adds as his gaze alights on the remaining fireworks. He turns, pulling Jude with him towards the door. "Save 'em for tomorrow, eh?"

"Yeah," Jude says absently. "Tomorrow."

It's warmer inside, but not exactly cozy. On their way past the kitchen, Jude suddenly stops. "Hey," he says, heading to the fridge. "I could do with another beer or something. Just a few mouthfuls. Want one?"

"Sure, might as well," Ewan says, following him into the kitchen. Jude is standing in front of the open fridge, half bent over and as he straightens up, Ewan comes up behind him, wrapping one arm around Jude's waist and pulling him close. "Ta," he murmurs against Jude's neck, reaching out to take one of the bottles from Jude's hand.

"God, that's better," Jude says after a couple of swigs. He can actually swallow now, the clean taste of the beer washing away the bitterness in his mouth. He leans against Ewan, as Ewan doesn't seem to want to let him move away, and turns his head to brush against Ewan's. "You going to let me fuck you then?"

"Can't think of anything I'd rather do." Ewan pulls away reluctantly, one hand still lingering on the small of Jude's back. "Shall we, then?" he asks finally, gesturing towards the bedrooms with his beer.

Jude nods and leads the way to his bedroom. He's already starting to pull his clothes off, juggling the beer from one hand to the other. His shirt is already unbuttoned when he sets the bottle down on the bedside table and sits on the bed to pull his shoes off. "Fuck... it's still freezing in here."

"We'll just have to warm each other up then, won't we?" Ewan laughs, shirt, shoes, and jumper already in a pile by his feet. He opens his beer finally, taking a long swallow and then setting it down next to Jude's. He shoves his jeans down and steps out of them, stretching. Showing off. "I'm sure we can think of something, eh?"

"It's all right for you," Jude mutters affectionately. "Great hairy Scots git. You're used to the wind whistling round your privates." He's watching Ewan though, admiring the confident way he moves and the smooth glide of muscles under his skin. Glancing up at his face and then back down at his cock, Jude licks his lips deliberately and smiles. Next time he sucks Ewan off, he's going to try to swallow again, he decides. Not just now, though. And it's still fucking cold. Pulling his jeans off quickly, Jude lifts the bed cover and slides between the cool sheets. "Come on," he tells Ewan, "Get in here and keep me warm. I'm an icicle."

Ewan climbs in with Jude, lying half on top of him, one leg thrown over his thighs. "An icicle, huh?" he murmurs, running his hand up Jude's side. "You don't feel so cold to me. You feel good, though," he adds, voice dropping even lower as their lips meet.

"Mmmm..." Wrapping his arms around Ewan, Jude presses against him. It's not just for warmth, although Ewan's hands are shockingly cool on his skin; it's because the body contact feels so comforting and because it's wonderful to thrust slowly against Ewan's hip, hardening again without delay. "So do you... So do you."

"Yeah..." It's not long before Ewan is hard again, too, and grinding against Jude as his hands and mouth move over every bit of skin he can reach, everything getting more and more urgent. He pulls his leg up higher, whimpering. "Want you...God..." His teeth graze over the taut skin of Jude's collarbone. "Want to feel you inside me...fucking me hard..."

"Yeah...me, too," Jude whispers and slides a hand down Ewan's back, fingers pushing between Ewan's cheeks. He circles Ewan's entrance with a light touch, getting firmer and firmer as he pushes his fingertip inside. "Want to fuck you. So tight," he whispers breathlessly. "Pass the lube. On the bedside table."

Ewan fumbles blindly behind him, but finally has to crane his neck around to look before he can find it. He hands the tube to Jude, surprise evident in his voice. "You bought some."

Biting his lip, Jude smiles shyly. "Figured I might need some sometime...well, you know." He shrugs, flipping open the lid and beginning to anoint his fingers. "I'm sure it will come in handy some time."

"I'm sure it will." Ewan grins. "How do you want me? Just like this?"

"Uh...anyway you like but I think the way we are right now is a bit awkward," Jude says frowning. "Unless you want to do that thing where you...sit on top...but it's harder to hold you then and I want to...uh..." He pauses, thinking he sounds like he's rambling. Why is he suddenly so self conscious? Perhaps it's because Ewan is asking _him_ what they should do instead of taking charge, letting Jude just be carried along. "I talk too much," he mutters.

"I like hearing you talk," Ewan says softly, and it sounds sappy and embarrassing and why the hell did he say something like that? "Like this then," he says louder, quickly rolling onto his back, legs spread and one knee in the air. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. That's good." The covers bunched around his shoulders, Jude kneels between Ewan's legs and starts to push lubed fingers inside him. He grins down at Ewan. "So...you like hearing me talk, do you? Dirty talk, eh?"

"Yeah, sure." Well, it's true, Ewan thinks. Dirty talk would be included under the broader category of say, anything. But he's certainly not going to say _that_. "Tell me you want me..." He wets his lips, pressing down on Jude's fingers. "What you want to do to me."

"Uh...fuck you," Jude says. He's a little embarrassed, beginning to blush, but it's worth it if Ewan likes it. "I want to slide my fingers inside you. Get you nice and moist. Slick. Push in to find that place...that place where you touched me and it felt like electricity. Make you wriggle. Make you writhe."

"God, yeah..." Ewan spreads his legs wider, reaching down with one hand to stroke himself slowly. He wets his lips again. "Please..."

"Like that?" Jude asks, crooking his fingers, and rubbing hard as Ewan nods. Jude swallows hard. Ewan is beautiful...and it's not just because he's a mate that Jude is enjoying this. He's achingly hard. "Going to slick you up and then, when I can't bear waiting any longer, I'm going to slide inside you. Fuck you hard."

"Yesssss," Ewan hisses, fingers tightening around his cock. His other arm is up behind his head, clutching the pillow, his entire body rocking to meet each thrust of Jude's fingers. Fuck, if he's not careful he's going to come just from this, so he takes his hand from his cock, drawing it across his belly instead.

"I...ready now. God." Jude is panting, anticipation suddenly twisting into eagerness. He shuffles forward, positioning himself in front of Ewan and then stops. "Aaaargh! Bloody...johnnie." He's annoyed with himself, not only for forgetting but also for remembering at the most awkward moment. "Hold that thought, love," he mutters and half scrambles over Ewan to the drawer where he keeps his condoms. "Won't be a tick."

Exhaling slowly, Ewan waits and tries not to feel annoyed as Jude digs through the drawer. Not like one time would be the end of the world. It's not like Jude's just some bloke he copped off with. Not some random shag. And even random shags say they love you and call you love and all, so don't go thinking about that. It doesn't mean anything, he knows that, only he wishes Jude hadn't said it _now_ when Ewan's been busy trying to forget things like that.

Then finally Jude is back between his legs, rolling on the condom, and Ewan can stop thinking and just get back to the shagging. "Took you long enough," he chides, grinning.

"Anything worth waiting for is worth doing right," Jude says, raising his eyebrows in amusement. "Or something like that." He smacks Ewan's thigh, right on the crease of his buttock. "Stop complaining and...lift up. That's it." Positioning himself again, Jude gives his cock a quick couple of strokes to make sure he's rock hard again. And then he inches forward. "Fuck...you're so tight. I can feel it, feel you...so tight around my dick. Just...perfect." Breathing hard, Jude slowly slides home. "Perfect."

Ewan grunts in agreement, wrapping his arms and legs around Jude and pulling him down for a kiss once Jude is fully inside. It burns and fuck, but that's a brilliant feeling.

"Oh...so good," Jude moans into Ewan's hair.

His eyes are tightly closed and he clings to Ewan, scraping his nails down his side. "So tight." But Jude moves within him easily, each gliding thrust sending a hot flash of pleasure through his body. "So lucky. Oh Ewan..." Jude searches for Ewan's lips with his mouth and kisses him.

Ewan's cock is trapped between their bodies, Jude's belly rubbing against the underside as he moves. Fingers clawing into Jude's back, Ewan jerks his hips, straining for orgasm. It's so close he can taste it. And then he's there. "Oh God, Jude, I... _oh_!"

And Jude is there with him, arching his back and crying out. He's coming and coming and holding Ewan tightly. Sweat beads on his skin as Ewan's fingers skid over his back and he calls out again, the wordless cry of triumph lowering into a satisfied groan as his climax ebbs away. Weakened, Jude bows his head to rest his forehead against Ewan's body. He's hot and sweaty and, for long moments, too happy to move.

Straightening his legs out and stretching, Ewan grins. "Well, that was quite a celebration. Fireworks, beer, sex...what could be better?"

"Not a lot," Jude agrees, rubbing his cheek against Ewan's shoulder. He flops down beside him, pulling the covers up over both of them again. "And I'm definitely warmed up again now." Reaching down, Jude pulls off the condom, knots it and discards it, and then turns to Ewan again. "So...you going to stay here for the night? It'll be warmer..."

Turning on his side to face Jude, Ewan grins. "Yeah...can't be arsed to move." He might have gone, otherwise, but since Jude asked, he can't say no. Scooting a little closer and throwing one arm over Jude's waist, he adds, "'sides, my bed'd be freezing."

"Yeah...stay here and be my hot water bottle," Jude murmurs. He doesn't want Ewan to leave and is glad he's staying.

"Hot water bottle?" Ewan teases. "Is that all I am to you?"

"Course not." Jude smiles sleepily. He slides his arm down to cover Ewan's, gripping him loosely. "Bit old for a cuddly toy...guess you must be my sex toy."

"Oh well, sex toy is much better than hot water bottle," Ewan says, laughing, and pinches Jude's side. It's not like he expected anything...more. They're just mates, and that's all they'll ever be. And that's not such a bad thing. It's better than nothing anyway.

"You can be both if you like." Jude squeezes Ewan's forearm. He's sleepy and comfortable and glad to drop the subject. It's not like he could go and tell Ewan that he was more than just a bed warmer. It would weird him out. It would seriously weird both of them out, perhaps, and ruin everything. And right now, Jude's quite happy with the way things are. "Night."

"Night," Ewan echoes, tugging the blanket up a little higher and closing his eyes. He hadn't thought he was all that tired, really, but maybe he is, because it's only a few minutes later that he's drifting off.


	9. A Christmas Present

Boring, boring, boring! No one's home. Despondent, Jude drops the receiver into the cradle. It bounces off, clatters onto the floorboards, the tinny sound of the unanswered ring tone mocking him from afar.

For a whole two seconds, Jude entertains the thought of just lifting his foot and – boot! - phone straight through the window. Score! He can almost hear the sound of shattering glass. Only thing is; phone, window, both cost money. And he's not that good a striker anyway. Sighing, Jude bends and picks the receiver up from the floor, taking a moment to untwist the tangled cord before he sets it back in its place.

If only Ewan were here. But Ewan left yesterday, heading north on the train from Kings Cross with a rucksack full of unwrapped presents and dirty jeans. Not to mention the belly full of beer that he and Jonny had helped him drink in a pub just around the corner on Pentonville Road. Jonny had wandered off after that, disappearing down the tube station escalator with a cheery wave, heading back to his parents' house.

Sitting back on the sofa, Jude looks around the empty flat, his lips pressed together in dejection. Even the Christmas Tree looks sad; one of those fake plastic jobs from Woolworths, only three feet high but Jude had bought it because, well, he thought the place could do with a little Christmas cheer. Only they'd never got around to decorating it with anything more than crushed up beer cans and a couple of bits of tinfoil. It looks even more pathetic than if he'd never bothered in the first place.

It's still early. Jude checks just to make sure before he picks up the phone again. This time it's not long before it's answered.

"Hello, Mum, it's me." Jude grimaces, glad someone's home, feeling like an idiot for ringing. "Yeah, look, I know I was going to come over tomorrow for Christmas and all that... Oh no! I'm still coming, don't worry." Jude's fingers twist nervously in the curled cord of the phone. "Yeah... Yeah, well, I was wondering... Is my room set up already? Because, yeah..." Trust Mum to always ask the awkward questions. "Yeah, heaps of parties. It's just not the same without my mates though," _without Ewan_. "They've all gone home for Christmas so I dunno if I want to be bothered."

It's reassuring though, to know there's always somewhere he can go. "So I'll see you in a bit then, yeah? No, it's okay, trains are still running. No need to drag Dad away from the TV. I won't be long. Yeah, thanks." Jude smiles. "See you soon."

So that's that. Jude hangs up, feeling relieved. It's a bit fucking lame to go running home to your parents on Christmas Eve but what else is there to do? And it doesn't really feel like Christmas without anyone else around. He eyes the tree again. So fucking pathetic. Mum will have the real thing at home with tinsel and lights and crackers and the old familiar little gold angel on top. Jude is still smiling when he catches sight of something tucked under the tree. Surely that wasn't there before.

Hauling himself off the creaking sofa, Jude crouches down next to the Christmas tree and reefs out the present – because that's what it is - boxed and wrapped and inelegantly labelled with a felt-tip pen, _To Jude, Merry Xmas!_ No need to ask who it's from. Only Ewan could have left it there.

For a moment, Jude feels inexplicably angry. The _cunt!_ Typical Ewan. He didn't say a word, just swanned off to Scotland without mentioning any present and now Jude feels guilty because he didn't even _think_ to get something in return. Then again, there were several rounds of drinks Jude stood when seeing him off, wishing him a Merry Christmas and all that... but it's not quite the same. Frowning, Jude lifts the box and gives it a bit of a shake. It doesn't rattle or anything. There's absolutely no hint as to what could be inside.

Well, it's not quite Christmas yet. Tempted as he is to tear off the wrapping immediately, Jude can't bring himself to break with tradition. He carries the box into his room. It sits there, smack bang in the middle of his bed, a guilty reminder as he stuffs his rucksack with spare clothes and the trinkets he's bought for his parents and sister. Ewan's present goes in last, placed carefully on top, in case it's something fragile.

Late that night, Jude lies in his old bed staring up at the walls. Everything is so familiar and yet, just different enough to be disconcerting. Even though his body seems to fit into every dip and bump in the mattress, the single bed seems smaller and the sheets smell cleaner than he ever remembers. There's a pile of boxes in one corner, and a table with a sewing machine. _No, no, of course I don't mind, Mum._ And it's so neat.

Some things haven't changed. James Dean still lounges on the back of the door, perched on a car bonnet, a cigarette gripped between perfect lips. His Mum must have missed that one when she turned the room into her sewing area. Jude turns on his side, tired now after dinner and TV and the celebratory glasses of Baileys his parents had seen fit to give him now that he was 'an adult' but still not comfortable enough to sleep. Almost automatically his hand steals down the front of his boxer shorts, fingers playing idly up and down his shaft. It seems weird to wank off in his parents' house, but isn't that what he did virtually every night when he lived here? Jude keeps stroking, rolling onto his back and sliding his legs apart. His cock fills and thickens, the foreskin rolling back as he brushes his palm over the head and then, gripping more tightly, drags his hand down his shaft. Jude presses his lips together, trying not to make a sound, trying not to rock the bed hard enough to make that spring squeak. This, at least, feels familiar.

Once upon a time, he wanted to be James Dean. Or at least be in his place, propped up against the car, lazily watching the women stroll past while smoke drips from his lips. If he was that beautiful – and here reality recedes and Jude drops into a well worn fantasy -- the woman would turn, strut over to him, run her manicured fingers over the worn denim of his jeans, up his thighs to that old fashioned button fly, popping the fasteners one by one. Underneath, James Dean's cock would be perfectly outlined by white cotton. Jude imagines pressing his face to the bulge, open mouthed kisses along the shaft, breathing in that male scent of sweat and sex. His hand on his cock speeds up as the fantasy sweeps him away. In his head he peels the underwear down, inch by inch, his tongue pressing forward to lick and taste, burying his nose in springy copper-coloured hair and... and when was it that it was him on his knees, mouth watering at the idea of being filled with a thick, hard cock? And it's not James Dean up there, it's Ewan, tangling his fingers in his hair, pushing his head down, thrusting into his mouth. Jude gasps, and his cock jerks in his hand. _So close..._ And then the fantasy takes hold again, images flickering behind his eyelids, of standing and turning Ewan, pushing him forward over the bonnet of the car, spreading his cheeks with his thumbs and just sliding in. Tight. Slick. Jude works his fingers faster and faster, his hips pumping, his balls tightening as Ewan moans beneath him. It's his own voice, groaning through his teeth. With a strangled cry, Jude is arching up from the bed, slamming into Ewan, coming all over his hand.

Sweaty and trembling, Jude collapses back on the bed, a damp stain spreading across the front of his boxers and rapidly cooling. The only sound in the room is his harsh breathing as he listens out for any sign he's disturbed someone else in the house. There's nothing, no sound at all apart from the usual distant traffic.

Grimacing, Jude peels his shorts down and off, using them to wipe his hand and belly before he rolls over, reaches down beside the bed and tries to stuff them deep inside his backpack. It's not like he's going to ask his mum to wash them. He's groping inside his pack when his fingers nudge against something hard and square and...of course, it's Ewan's present. Jude eyes the clock. The square red letters tell him it's not yet midnight. Should he...?

No. Smiling, Jude pulls the box out and places it carefully on the bedside table. Whatever it is, he can wait to find out in the morning. He can open it with the presents from the rest of his family. He taps the top of the box. "Merry Christmas, mate," he whispers.


	10. Welcome to the Club

"God it's a fucking boring time of year!" Jude dumps his dinner plate in the sink and splashes some water on it. He'll get round to washing it some time later. Probably. When they need the plate again, anyway. "Everyone's on fucking holiday... Gone home to the parents or gone off with the girlfriend. It's the same every fucking year."

It's the inevitable post Christmas, post New Year's let down. Jude is still irritated he didn't have anyone to celebrate his birthday with. Or at least go out and party with. Dinner at his parents' house just wasn't quite the same, although he's still wearing the jeans he got.

"At least you're back," he calls out to Ewan. "So I'm not completely abandoned."

Grabbing a beer from the fridge - a bottle of Stella Artois left over from New Year's - Jude wanders back into the sitting room and flops down next to Ewan. "You know, I rang up Jonny to see if he wanted to come down the pub with us tonight, and you know what he said? He's giving his body a breather and giving up alcohol for the whole of January. New Year's resolution or something." He shakes his head disbelievingly and takes a sip of his beer. "A whole bloody month! Bloody health nut."

"You didn't get me anything?" Ewan frowns, holding up his almost empty bottle. "Oh well," he says without waiting for an answer, "I'm going out in a bit anyway, so I s'pose I can wait til then."

He flips through the channels, but nothing much is on and he's not really even looking at the television anyway. His gaze keeps sliding over to Jude. It's not like he was even gone all that long, just a little over a week from Christmas to New Year's, but it felt weird not having Jude around. He _missed_ Jude is what it is, and now he's debating giving up his plans for the night to go down the pub with him. The thing is, there'd been plenty of pubs back home and now that he's back he'd rather go clubbing or something.

"Where you going?" Jude says curiously. "I was thinking of going out for a drink."

"Thought I might go clubbing. Celebrate my return to civilisation and all." After a moment's hesitation, Ewan adds, "Wanna come with me?"

Jude weighs up his options. Going to the pub alone. Staying in alone. Going out clubbing with Ewan, finding out what strange world Ewan disappears to every week and spending the whole evening with him. Maybe even the whole night. It isn't a hard decision. "Oh yeah, I'll come," Jude says, and slowly starts to grin. The more he thinks about it, the more exciting it seems. "Where you going? Covent Garden? Soho?"

"Huh?" Ewan is still stuck on the "yeah, I'll come" and he blinks, trying to remember what Jude asked after that. "Oh. Soho, yeah. This one place in Dean Street, probably. That's usually got the best blokes." He grins and adds as an afterthought, "And music." He hadn't expected Jude to say yes, and suddenly the whole evening seems much more exciting. "So you'll come, then?"

"Yeah, sure. I mean...the music's good, right?" Jude offers his beer to Ewan silently, seeing Ewan's bottle is empty. "It's just a bar isn't it? I'm not going to...like, stick out like a sore thumb or anything, am I? You'll be there to stop me making a fool of myself?"

Taking a swallow of beer, Ewan stands and switches off the TV. "Sure, of course. Anyway, how're you gonna make a fool of yourself?" He hands Jude back his beer and starts pulling his shirt off as he heads for his bedroom. "Just gotta change, then I'll be ready."

Jude trails after him uncertainly. "Should I wear anything special or anything?"

"Nah, just whatever." Ewan tosses his shirt on the bed and looks Jude up and down. "You look fine. Oh, and thanks for tidying up, but I think these are yours," he adds, picking up a pair of y-fronts from the pile of clothes on the floor and tossing them to Jude. "I don't have any black pants."

"Thanks..." Jude grabs for them automatically and then holds them up for examination. "Hmm... They're not mine... I found them down the back of the sofa when I was cleaning up." Jude looks from the underpants to Ewan and back to the pants again. "Probably one of your guests... Oh Ewan!" He pretends to look shocked. "On the sofa. On _our_ sofa."

Sticking out his tongue, Ewan shoves his jeans down and then kicks them off. "Like you've never?"

"Well.." Jude begins to laugh and he tosses the pants so that they hit Ewan square in the chest. "They've never left their knickers behind. You dirty bugger." He shakes his head in rueful admiration. "Must have been a good one... Anyway, have you got a shirt I could borrow? Only my Mum gave me this one for Christmas and it's just... boring."

"Sure." Ewan grins and drops the pants back on the pile of laundry. Or perhaps some of the clothes are clean. He looks at the pile hopefully, but it doesn't look like there's anything decent in there anyway and now that Jude's going too, he finds himself wanting to show off a bit. There are leather trousers around somewhere. "If I were leather trousers, where would I be?" he mutters, and then says louder, "Anyway, help yourself to anything that catches your fancy."

"Right." Jude looks round dubiously. "Which is the clean pile again?" Ewan makes a vague expansive gesture and Jude sighs, digging through the clothing. "Oh hey... you wanted leather trousers, right? Here they are."

"Ta!" Grinning, Ewan takes the trousers from Jude's hand and tugs them on. He spots a likely shirt and grabs it, too. "Find anything yet?" he asks as he pulls it over his head.

Jude has been too busy watching Ewan dress to really look for clothes. He can feel his cheeks heating with embarrassment. "Uh, not yet...hang on, this looks like my size." Pulling a t-shirt out of a pile that could almost be described as neat, he holds it up in front of him for Ewan to inspect.

"Nice." Ewan eyes the shirt - white, with cropped sleeves - thinking how much nicer it'll look on Jude...and maybe coming off again later. It's quite tight on him and will probably still be fairly tight on Jude as well. He grins. "Very nice. Now let's see you model it."

"Okay..." Enjoying the fact Ewan is watching him, Jude peels out of his shirt and folds it carefully, taking his time. He steals little looks at Ewan as he does so. Yes, Ewan is looking at him. Good. He pulls on the white shirt and smoothes it down over his body. "How'd you like that?"

"Mmm..." Looking Jude up and down, Ewan grins again. "Definitely very nice." Grabbing an eyeliner pencil off his desk, he pads out to the bathroom. He flips on the light and, leaning over the sink, draws a black line under each eye. "You all ready, then?" he asks.

"Yeah..." Jude tilts his head, examining Ewan. He looks gorgeous, the blue t-shirt just brushing the top of the tight leather trousers and his eyes smoky and hot. Jude is tempted to ask to borrow his eyeliner as well but decides against it. He doesn't want to be conspicuous and he'd probably feel awkward. "You look great." He's probably never told Ewan how good he looks when he's going out for the night before.

After running a brush through his hair, Ewan turns and smacks Jude on the arse on his way out the door. "So do you."

His trainers are in the front room, one by the sofa and the other, strangely enough, over by the kitchen. He shoves his feet in them and grabs his coat. "All right, then?"

"All right." Jude grins, shoving his arms into his own jacket and grinning. "Let's go."

* * *

Despite the cold weather, there's plenty of people around in Soho. Taxis and cars crowd the narrow streets and the whole area is still lit up for Christmas. Jude can feel the excitement beginning to build. He smiles at Ewan. "God, it's good to get out of the house. Where's this place, then?"

"Not far... Fuck, it's cold." Stuffing his hands in his coat pockets, Ewan bounces a bit as he walks to try and keep warm. He looks around at all the bustle and sighs happily. "This is much better... Home is nice and all, but it's a wee bit boring. I think I'd go mad if I still lived up there." Not to mention he wouldn't have met Jude, which doesn't even bear thinking about.

"Here we are," he says as they turn the corner, and nods at the club across the street.

"Wait..." Jude places a hand on Ewan's arm. "Look, I'm being incredibly dumb and all that but, it's a gay bar, right? I'm not going to have to wear a special hankie in my pocket that says 'nervous straight boy - don't touch' am I? Not that I'm nervous," he adds, lying through his teeth.

 _Incredibly dumb doesn't begin to describe it_ , Ewan thinks. Rolling his eyes, he smacks Jude on the arse. "It's just like a regular club only with less birds." _I am not going to say anything about the straight boy comment_ , he repeats to himself. "I could always pretend to be your overprotective boyfriend."

"Yeah, all right." Jude quite likes that idea. "Lead on then." Threading through the traffic they cross the street to where music is pouring out of a neon lit doorway. A quick once-over from the bouncer and they're in, descending the broad steps into the bar. Looking around curiously, Jude doesn't think it looks much different to the usual kind of club. A bit more stylish, perhaps; more chrome and blue lighting, and the music is an eclectic, up to the minute mix. _Not bad,_ Jude thinks, beginning to relax. It's the clientele that are different, he realises; mostly male and mostly young but none of them look particularly like any of the Village People or the tragic gay stereotypes he had been half expecting, half dreading. He tugs Ewan's sleeve and shouts over the din. "Shall we get a drink then?"

"Good idea." Sliding one arm around Jude's waist - might as well enjoy playing the role of possessive boyfriend, after all - Ewan leads him through the crowd to the bar. There's been no sign of anyone he knows yet, well, not any of his friends anyway. There've been guys he recognised and he's nodded and smiled and said hi to quite a few people, but that's just shags. Not anyone important.

It's quieter near the bar, so Ewan doesn't really _need_ to lean so close, lips almost brushing Jude's ear, to ask him what he wants to drink, but he does anyway.

"Vodka and lemon, thanks." Jude turns towards Ewan, almost reaching out to place a hand on his hip. He doesn't, quite, still a little hesitant. "And get a bottle of water as well. I might dance later on."

Jude tags along as Ewan makes his way to the bar. He'd rather stick close by for now. Ewan props his elbows up on the counter, a £10 note in his hand, and waits for the bartender to notice him. Jude leans in to whisper to Ewan. "I'll get the next round, okay?"

"You'd better," Ewan says, grinning and waving the note. "This is all I've got." He orders the vodka and water and a beer for himself and then pockets the change. When the bartender returns with their drinks, Ewan hands Jude his and tilts his head back, taking a long swallow of his beer. "So. What do you think?"

"Well, seeing as no one's groped my arse yet, it's a bit of a let down," Jude snickers. He sips his vodka and reaches for his cigarettes, offering the packet to Ewan before pulling one out himself. "No, honestly? It's great. I was expecting something weird and scary but...this is almost normal. I like it." He glances round. "So this is where you hang out then... You know any of these guys?"

"Why weird and scary? Am I weird and scary?" Ewan asks, scanning the crowd for familiar faces. "Oh, there's Mark. Mark!" He only half recognises the guy with him, but he grins and waves them both over.

Jude feels his cheeks going pink. He didn't mean it like that but he's sure he's just said something offensive. Oh well, at least Ewan doesn't appear to be upset about it. "I just meant...different, unfamiliar. Sorry," he hisses in Ewan's ear. He turns to greet Ewan's friends with something akin to relief.

'Mark' appears to be the shorter one of the pair, a blond man in jeans and a mesh shirt, who calls out Ewan's name and holds out his arms in an expansively friendly gesture. Ewan hugs him swiftly, patting him on the back. Smiling blandly, Jude shakes hands with the other guy. He's tall, possibly even taller than Jude.

"Nice shirt." Jude nods at the shiny green silk number the man is wearing. It matches his eyeshadow, he realises with a start. "I'm Jude. Pleased to meet you."

"Jude! _The_ Jude?" Mark asks, before the other bloke can say anything. "I've heard _so_ much about you. I'm Mark, this is Jamie." He turns back to Ewan. "You remember Jamie, don't you?"

"Yeah, of course," Ewan says, though he doesn't really. Might've met at some party at Mark's or something, and anyway, it hardly matters. He's sure he hasn't shagged him; he'd remember that. Confident that he has that sorted, at least, he shakes Jamie's hand, grinning. "Good to see you again."

"Yeah, yeah... I'm Jude." Leaning forward to shake Mark's hand, Jude nods. _The_ Jude? He flicks a curious look at Ewan, wondering what has been said about him, because he certainly doesn't remember Ewan saying a great deal about any guy called Mark. Or he might have mentioned him, but not in any way that Jude ever thought significant. He makes a mental note to pay a bit more attention next time Ewan talks about his friends.

Mark looks him up and down, grinning. "So you're living with Ewan, are you?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're flatmates." Jude smiles back. "Since drama school, actually."

"Oh, you're an actor, too?" Jamie turns back around from ordering drinks and hands Mark a margarita.

Ewan grins. "He's a brilliant actor. Almost as brilliant as myself."

"Yeah." Jude laughs. "Almost. Only not as modest."

Mark laughs at that and raises his drink in ironic toast. "Here's to immodest actors. So...wanna get a seat?"

"Sure," Jude says, with a quick glance at Ewan for confirmation. He follows Mark and his friend, whose name he has already forgotten, to an empty table. Hopefully Ewan or Mark will mention the guy's name in conversation so he wont have to ask. Sliding in next to Mark, Ewan following close behind, Jude takes a seat and wriggles up to make room for Ewan. It's a bit of a squeeze, but Jude doesn't mind Ewan pressing up against him like that or slinging a friendly arm around his shoulder. He takes a sip of his drink and, not sure what to say, peers out onto the dance floor to see what's going on. People are dancing, that's all. Nothing particularly unusual about that at all. He smiles at Ewan, pleased and a little excited.

Ewan grins at Jude, glad to see he seems to be enjoying himself. Maybe he'll bring Jude 'round more often. Maybe he'll even loosen up a bit if Ewan's lucky. But then that leads to thinking things like maybe Jude will stop thinking it'd be so horrible to be gay, and it all just goes downhill from there because it's never going to happen anyway. Best just to hope things will keep on the way they are.

"So," pulling Jude a little closer, he asks Mark, "what've you been doing then? Any wild parties I missed whilst I was stuck out in the sticks?"

"Nah, not much. I went around to a few different New Year's Eve bashes, but nothing really spectacular." Mark leers at Ewan and then at Jude. "All the best looking blokes were out in the sticks, apparently."

"Oi, what does that make me?" Jamie smacks Mark playfully, grinning. "So what did you do over the holidays?" he asks Jude. "Or were you with Ewan?"

"Nah, went home to my parents' place," Jude says and looks vaguely embarrassed. Sometimes it's good being the youngest one around. Sometimes it's not. "I'm a local, sort of, so I was stuck in London while everyone else went away. Very boring." He grins. "Next year I'm going to pretend I'm an orphan and stay home. And have the biggest wildest party for all the other orphans."

"Oh, I'll come." Jamie smirks and then winks at Mark. "As often as possible."

Mark laughs. "You're fucking impossible...as bad as Ewan."

"I'm not bad," Ewan protests, laughing. "I'm perfectly angelic!" Turning to Jude, he bats his eyelashes and tries to look innocent. "Aren't I?"

"Only when you're sleeping," Jude shoots back. And slowly turns bright red.

Grinning, Ewan leans in even closer. "You watch me while I sleep?"

"Only when I'm trying to work out which will silence the snores quicker; smothering with a pillow or manual strangulation," Jude says tartly, but he's still smiling awkwardly, realising he's been caught out. He doesn't really watch Ewan sleeping although, sometimes when he opens his eyes, he's glad to find Ewan there.

"So...you two are together then?" Mark's partner asks casually, sipping his drink. Jude stares at him in alarm but he didn't sound like he meant anything by it, more like it was a perfectly normal thing to ask.

"Nah." Jude shakes his head dismissively. Ewan shifts uncomfortably next to him and Jude glances over at him. Ewan's face is expressionless. "Well...not really."

"Of course we're not, don't be daft," Ewan says finally, rolling his eyes. "I don't do relationships anyway." He grins then, a bit tightly, and adds, "I'm only in it for the sex."

Round the table, everyone laughs. Jude snorts and looks down, patting his pockets for his cigarettes.

"Here, have one of mine." The other guy, the one who isn't Mark, the one whose name Jude still hasn't worked out, reaches forward and offers an open packet to him.

Jude nods by way of thanks and takes one. "Ta."

"You're welcome," the man says, and flips open a chunky Zippo lighter. The flame flickers as he holds it out to Jude, keeping it in place slightly longer than necessary for Jude to light his cigarette.

"So..." Jude leans back, watching the man as he lights his own cigarette. "Look, I'm sorry... I didn't catch your name earlier. Music and all."

"Jamie...or James as my parents call me." The man puffs out smoke and tilts his head up, seemingly amused by Jude. "But you can call me..." he breaks into a lazy smile, "Jamie."

"Right. Jamie." Jude tests the sound of it. "So what do you do, Jamie?"

"Nothing as exciting as acting," Jamie says and then makes a face. "Actually nothing at all at the moment. I just finished uni last year and have been drifting around a bit since then."

"Ugh, uni." Ewan nicks Jude's cigarette from him and takes a drag. "Sounds wretched."

"Oi," Jude protests half heartedly, nudging Ewan in the ribs. "Get your own, you tight git."

Grinning, Mark leans over to take one of Jamie's cigarettes. "He is pretty tight for someone who's shagged half the blokes here."

"Half? Are you calling me easy? Hmph!" Ewan crosses his arms and manages to look offended for about five seconds before breaking into a grin. "Only a third, tops. The rest aren't my type."

"Yeah? And what is your type then?" Jamie says, lifting his eyebrows.

"I thought it was anything male," Mark cuts in.

Sticking his tongue out at Mark, Ewan says, "I won't lie and say I'm picky, but I don't like 'em all beefed up and muscular. Blech." He makes a face. "Thin and pretty, if I'm going by looks alone." Grinning at Jamie, he adds, "And yet I've had Mark, so obviously personality counts for something."

"Fuck off," Mark says good-naturedly.

"If it's got a pulse, I'll fuck it," Jamie says, grinning into his drink.

Mark nods at that, and laughs. "We know..." He waves his cigarette in Jude's direction. "So how about you, Jude? What's your type then? Smooth, intelligent, charming...much like myself?" He sits up straighter, fixing Jude with a flirtatious smile. "Mr. Personality Plus. Or do you prefer dumb blonds like Jamie here?"

"Uh..." Jude fiddles with his glass. Talk about being put on the spot. He doesn't really want to say he's straight...and it seems foolish to do so when he's here with Ewan. He flicks a beseeching glance in Ewan's direction. "I...uh...I'm pretty picky."

"Picky, eh?" Jamie waves towards the dance floor. "See anyone here you fancy? Taking the three of us as given, of course," he adds with a grin.

Sighing slightly to himself, Jude turns and looks. He could just pick someone at random. Then again, it's not like any of these guys are ugly. Well, not many. He wouldn't really want to kiss that kid with the acne over there. But his mate's not bad. Lithe, dancing enthusiastically...no. Jude glances helplessly at Ewan again.

Ewan looks back at him, clearly curious. He raises his eyebrows as if to say 'Well?' Jude sighs. No help there. He examines the dance floor again. "That guy."

Jamie tilts his head. "The gothy looking bloke in the tight black jeans? Yeah, not bad." He licks his lips and takes a sip of his drink. "I'd do him."

"Oh no, not him," Jude says hastily. "His mate. The redhead with the grin. He's more my type."

"Redhead, eh?" Mark looks out at the floor and then pointedly at Ewan. "I bet he is," he says, winking at Jude.

"Yeah...well." Covering his embarrassment by lifting his glass and draining his drink, Jude dare not look at Ewan. "You know what they say about redheads..."

"What, that they're endlessly witty, brilliantly charming, fantastic in bed, and have big dicks?" Laughing, Ewan plants a kiss on Jude's cheek, feeling oddly pleased that Jude chose someone who had at least something in common with him. "Or is that just me?"

"Just you, Ewan..." Jude smiles, looking down at the tabletop sheepishly. He can't even think of a witty comeback. "Anyway...I reckon it's my round. Want another?"

"Nah, I'm tired of sitting around." Ewan sticks out his lower lip, pouting. "If I'd wanted to sit around drinking we could've saved our money and gone down the pub."

"Well, come on then..." Jude plucks at the sleeve of Ewan's jacket. "Dance with me."

Ewan can't think of anything he'd rather do, except maybe shag Jude in the toilets, and maybe that'll come later. Grinning, he stands and pulls Jude up with him. "What are you waiting for?"

"So you're dumping us just like that, then, are you?" Mark says, swirling the last of his margarita around.

"I'm not doing anything of the sort, you lazy bastards." Sliding his arm around Jude, Ewan pulls a face at Mark and then grins. "No one's stopping you from getting of your arses and dancing."

Lighting another cigarette, Mark waves them away. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. Now you've got your new boy toy with you, you just don't love me anymore. I see how it is."

"I've been living a lie, Mark. I never loved you." Ewan pauses. "Oh wait, I never said I did either."

Laughing as Mark flips Ewan off, Jamie says, "Nice to meet you, Jude."

"Yeah, nice to meet you," Mark echoes.

"And you too, guys," Jude replies, meaning it. He squeezes out past the table. "Maybe see you some other time, eh?"

Following Ewan out onto the dance floor, Jude is grinning. Meeting some of Ewan's friends was great and he's having a good time. The music is booming and all around them people are dancing, enjoying themselves. It's infectious. Turning towards Ewan, already moving to the beat, Jude winks at him and leans close to his ear. "New boy toy, eh?" he yells. "I expect they're taking bets on how long I'll last!"

Grinning, Ewan replies, "In my experience, you usually last long enough."

"Ha ha, very funny!" Jude's lips brush over Ewan's jaw and then he's leaning back again, dancing, leading Ewan further onto the dance floor.

"Of course it's funny," Ewan shouts, not even sure Jude can hear him over the music. "You just admitted you find me endlessly witty, remember?"

"Mate... I didn't want to show you up by telling the truth." Jude grabs Ewan by the shoulders, leaning close again. "That you actually have a very small penis."

"You liar!" Ewan laughs and smacks Jude hard on the arse. "I've seen enough dicks to know what I'm talking about. Speaking of which," one arm around Jude's waist keeping him close, Ewan reaches between them and cups Jude's crotch, "you have a pretty nice one yourself."

"Oh God..." Jude whimpers, hardening quickly. He glances around but no one is watching or seems to give a toss. _Fine, then._ Moving as if he's still dancing, Jude pushes gently into Ewan's hand, pressing against him.

"A very nice one," Ewan murmurs, giving Jude a squeeze. His lips find Jude's and then they're kissing, looking for all the world like they're slow dancing to this fast-paced, blaring music and it's absolutely brilliant. They're surrounded by people, some so close they're bumping into Ewan, and Jude is kissing him! Hard himself now, he wraps both arms around Jude, grinding against him.

"Mmm..." If only they were at home, Jude thinks, he'd grab Ewan and drag him off into the bedroom and not let him out until he'd shagged him through the mattress. And maybe not even then. Jude grinds against Ewan slowly. The hand is gone but Jude can still get enough friction to make him even more aroused, keeping him hard. Looking around briefly, Jude slowly maneuvers them to the edge of the dance floor. He'd rather not get in the way of the other dancers while he kisses his... _flatmate._

Pulling back slightly, Ewan grins. "Why Jude, I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you." He laughs, his hands sliding down to cup Jude's arse. "Anyone would think you wanted to shag me rotten."

"I do..." Jude growls. He grinds against Ewan again, letting him feel how hard he is. "Tonight, when we get home, I want to fuck you."

"Oh God, me too," Ewan moans. "But I can't wait that long..." This is thrilling, and he wonders how far he can push Jude. "I want you now... I want you pressed up against the wall in the loo...your cock in my mouth... I want you..."

"We can't. We can't," Jude hisses, even though his cock jerks at the idea. "Someone might see..."

"Maybe they'll see, but who's gonna care here? C'mon..." Reaching between them again, Ewan slides his fingers under the waistband of Jude's jeans and his pants. His fingertips brush the head of Jude's cock, but the jeans are too tight and he can't go any further. "You want me. You know you want me... You want me to convince you."

Jude moans, a thrill running through him as Ewan's fingertips tease him so gently. He wants to thrust up into Ewan's hand, wants more of that dangerous contact. "Ohhhh," he moans again, clinging to Ewan's arms. It has to be pretty obvious to anyone watching what Ewan is doing, just from the look on his face. "All right...all right," Jude gasps breathlessly. "Somewhere more private at least..."

"All right, then." Ewan pulls his hand away and disentangles himself from Jude's arms. He can't resist a bit of a triumphant smirk. Jude looks absolutely amazing and he's not looking at anyone else but Ewan.

Grinning, he grabs Jude's hand and tugs him off the dance floor and towards the toilets. Several of the stalls are occupied, and Ewan's willing to bet that if they looked under any of the doors, they'd see more than one pair of feet.

"Look...we can't," Jude is protesting again, dragging his heels as Ewan pulls him along. Ewan shushes him with a glare and pushes another cubicle door. Also locked.

"See?" Jude says in growing disappointment. "There's no where to go and I'm not doing it out here." He eyes the wall at the end of the row of cubicles. It's sort of out of the way, but it's not exactly private. "We could go home or something..."

"Fuck going home..." Ewan says. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

He's just about to bang on one of the doors when he notices a stall at the end that looks empty. "Here we are. Perfect." Jude can't seem to decide whether to drag his feet or not, and it's obvious that he's only protesting because he thinks he should, so once they're in the stall, Ewan pushes him against the wall and kisses him. That should shut him up, he thinks, fumbling with one hand to latch the door.

Stung by Ewan's suggestion that he's unadventurous, Jude grabs Ewan and kisses him back, hard. His teeth scrap over Ewan's lower lip, clicking against Ewan's own teeth as he eagerly demonstrates how keen he is. His hands are already reaching for the fastening of Ewan's jeans. "Not afraid, Ewan," he mumbles against Ewan's cheek. "Just cautious... I don't want anyone to see...that's all." With a snap, Ewan's button comes undone and Jude can slide his hand into Ewan's trousers, naturally cupping his erection. "See?"

"Yeah..." Ewan thrusts into Jude's hand, his fingers busy working at Jude's fly and soon it's open as well. He reaches in for Jude's cock and brings his free hand up to cup the back of Jude's head. This is good, he thinks distantly. The thought of pulling away long enough to go down on Jude seems less and less appealing.

Kissing Ewan, pressing against him, his cock hot and hard in Ewan's hand, and Ewan's in his, Jude closes his eyes. There's something so frantic and immediate about groping in a public toilet stall that makes him feel even more excited, the mad passion of it all. He thrusts into Ewan's hand and pulls him closer. There's sounds coming from the nextdoor cubicle, soft moans and rhythmic slapping and Jude realises with a thrill that another couple is in there and they're fucking. He moans. "Ewan...want you."

"Want you, too..." Fingers tightening in Jude's hair, Ewan presses hot, wet kisses along his jaw. Everything's been going brilliantly. Despite Jude's half-hearted protests, he's obviously into it. Ewan's mouth curves into a grin as he gives Jude's cock a squeeze. Very obviously.

"Fuck me," he whispers, lips pressed against Jude's ear. "Right here..."

"Yeah...yeah..." Jude moans between hard kisses. "Right fucking here...now." He pulls at Ewan's trousers, shoving the soft leather down over his hips. Ewan's skin, when he runs his hands over his arse, is even softer, warm and quivering under his touch. "C'mon...you got the lube..." Jude mutters, pushing the trousers down further. "Get these down...or..." He glances round the stall. "How do we do this anyway?"

"Right." Ewan digs in his pocket, hoping fervently that in the jumble of keys and money and other random shite he grabbed off the desk there was some lube or something. There is, and a condom, too, and he holds them both up triumphantly.

Placing them in Jude's hand, he leans in for another kiss, grinding his cock into Jude's hip. He pulls away breathlessly a few moments later. "Right...okay..."

There's not a whole lot of room for maneuvering, but there's enough. Turning around, he shoves his trousers down around his ankles and bends over slightly, legs spread as widely as he can manage. He licks his lips and cranes his neck to look back at Jude. "Come on, then," he says, grinning.

"Brilliant," Jude murmurs. He rolls the condom on quickly, having learned by now it's easier before he slicks his fingers, and then squeezes out some lube. Leaning over Ewan, he slides his fingers inside him, working urgently to stretch him. A little too urgently if Ewan's sudden jerk is anything to go by. "Sorry..."

"No...no," Ewan says, gritting his teeth as he pushes back on Jude's fingers. "That's fine...brilliant..." It is, too, as is the thought that Jude's so caught up in this, wants Ewan so badly that he's not being his ordinarily careful self.

Jude kisses Ewan's shoulder swiftly. "Make it up to you in a moment...hang in there." Slowing down, Jude adds the third finger more carefully. He's quivering inside, wanting to fuck Ewan, wanting to get on with it before they're caught or something, but he forces himself to go steady.

Someone rattles the door, causing Jude to freeze, but Ewan just mutters, "Fuck off, we're busy in here." When Jude still doesn't move, Ewan reaches back and grabs his hand, urging him to continue.

"Yeah, all right," Jude mutters in irritation. It's his own panicky reaction that has him annoyed though. The thrill of the forbidden is delicately balanced against the fear of discovery and for a moment there... It's okay now. Ewan doesn't seem to give a damn. Ewan never seems to give a damn what other people think and that's why he loves him. Likes him.

Wrapping an arm around Ewan's waist, Jude positions himself. The angle is tricky and he's not quite as eager as he was before, but he can manage. "Okay, ready?"

"Yeah," Ewan says, pushing back. He tries to spread his legs further, but his trousers stop him. Stupid fucking trousers. Bracing himself against the wall with one arm, he reaches down and grabs his cock. He's ready all right. "Come _on_..."

"Yessss..." Jude hisses. He pushes in, feeling the resistance, but as he works his way inch by inch into Ewan's body, he can't help but grip him tighter and moan. _God, this is good._ It's _always_ good, but this is thrilling. "Oh Ewan..." he moans, "this is so fucking hot..."

Biting his lip as the initial burn slowly fades, Ewan mumbles, "Fuck yeah."

Jude's thrusts are hard and fast once he's in, and Ewan rocks back to meet them. He starts pulling on his cock, the sound of skin against skin and their harsh breathing loud in his ears.

Biting his lip to keep from crying out, Jude rocks his hips up into Ewan again and again. When he reaches around for Ewan's cock, Ewan's hand is already there, so Jude grips Ewan's hips, pulling him back onto his cock, dragging him backwards in time with his increasingly frantic thrusts, shoving him forward again as he pulls back to thrust again. Harder. Harder. Until he's gasping for air and desperate to come.

It's fucking brilliant, Ewan thinks. Even more so because he never imagined being here like this, with Jude pounding him into the wall with increasingly urgent thrusts, driving him closer and closer to the edge. His whole body tenses and then he's coming, white spatters covering the phone numbers and obscene messages scrawled on the wall in front of him.

"Mmmmph..." Jude presses his mouth against Ewan's shoulder, stifling his cry as his climax takes him. He's trembling, holding on to Ewan as the tremors slowly die away. "Fuck..." he whispers. "Fucking hell..." He can't really think of anything more to say, it was all so _different_. Exciting.

Slowly Jude becomes more and more aware of his surroundings. There are noises outside the stall; someone else going into the next cubicle but one and voices raised in laugher. Reluctantly, Jude pulls away. "We shouldn't hang about, eh?" he mutters. Pulling up his jeans and zipping himself up again, Jude pulls some toilet paper off the roll - he's vaguely surprised there is any - and carefully wipes Ewan's come off the wall. "Just getting rid of the evidence," he says cheerfully, and flushes the 'evidence' away along with the used condom.

"Whatever." Ewan laughs. "Not like they're not gonna know what we were up to in here anyway."

Grabbing a handful of toilet paper, he cleans himself off. He tosses it in the toilet and flushes again as he yanks his trousers back up. "We should do this again sometime, eh?" Grinning, he leans in to give Jude a quick kiss as he zips up his fly.

"God, yes..." Jude grins and grabs hold of Ewan, stopping him from pulling away. "It was such a buzz," he murmurs into Ewan's ear. "The fear of getting caught and...fucking you up against the wall." He steps back and smiles. "Come on, let's get out of here before someone starts barging down the door."

Unlocking the door, Ewan pulls Jude out of the stall, smiling brightly at a couple of blokes who look their way. He puts his arms up behind his head and stretches, bouncing on the balls of his feet. _Getting caught, indeed. Jude is so damn cute. Who'd even bat an eye here and yet he's worried about getting caught._ "Wanna buy me a drink?"

"I suppose it's the gentlemanly thing to do," Jude says, smirking slightly. "At least I don't have to buy you flowers."

He leads the way back into the club, not quite able to meet the eyes of the people he passes. He doesn't want to know if they can all guess where he's been but by the time they get to the bar, he's beginning to smile. That _was_ fantastic. No wonder Ewan comes down here a lot. Glancing round, Jude's eyes narrow a little, wondering how many of the other men here are regulars and how many have fucked Ewan in the toilets or in some other hastily grabbed corner, out of sight. He's relieved he doesn't recognise anyone as one of the men Ewan has brought home. "So, same again?" he asks brightly as Ewan joins him.

"Yeah, beer's fine," Ewan says, leaning back against the bar and propping himself up with on his elbows. He can't stop grinning. This was definitely a good idea.

Leaning over to catch the attention of the barman, Jude orders drinks and then hands Ewan his beer. "Now what then? Do we mingle? Find your mates again?"

"I dunno... What do you want to do?" Ewan sips his beer, looking sideways at Jude. "We didn't really do much dancing before. Or we can just hang out... Whatever."

"Drinking, dancing, and hanging out sounds good to me," Jude grins. "Not necessarily in that order but...all of the above." He takes another sip of his drink and remembers he left his bottle of water, still unopened, with Mark and Jamie. "You want to go see if your mates are still here? And then maybe we can dance in a bit. Right now, I need a fag."

Ewan pulls out a somewhat crumpled packet of cigarettes from his pocket and opens it up. There's only one left, and his lighter. "You're in luck, mate."

Once Jude's lit up, they head off to look for Mark. He's nowhere to be found, and neither is Jamie, but they do stop and chat with a few other blokes, all of whom are a little too interested in Jude for Ewan's taste. Not that he thinks Jude would cop off with anyone right now, but still.

There's more drinks and more chatter and Ewan is pleased to see that Jude seems to be enjoying it all quite thoroughly. After a while they drift back onto the dance floor and stay there until they're sweaty and fagged out and groping each other again, idiot grins plastered on their faces.

When they finally stumble out and down the road to the tube station, Ewan thinks perhaps it's the most fun he's ever had out at the clubs. The train ride home is just as brilliant and when Jude falls asleep leaning up against him, Ewan looks around quickly to make sure the car really is empty and then smoothes Jude's hair back and softly kisses his forehead.

The train stops with a clatter and the hiss of squealing brakes. Jude lifts his head, wondering when he nodded off. Ewan is tugging at his arm, telling him it's their stop and unless they want to sleep on the benches at the terminus, they have to get off. Stumbling a little, Jude follows Ewan blearily out of the station and slings his arm around Ewan's shoulders. He's tired but happy.

"Hey, you," he says, his voice rough from sleep and cigarettes, "I want to thank you. I had a brilliant time tonight. We should...we should go again."

"It was, wasn't it?" Ewan grins, pleased, and hunches his shoulders against the cold. "Anytime you want to come with me."

"I think that guy was flirting with me..." Jude giggles, still drunk. "That...that one with the earring. Don't you think?"

"They were _all_ flirting with you." Ewan laughs. "Who wouldn't?"

Grinning, Jude shrugs and squeezes Ewan's shoulder. "Good job I'm not a Scotsman with all that charm and wit and a huge penis, or I'd be beating them off with sticks. I don't know how _you_ manage it."

"Well, I've had a lot of practise." Grabbing Jude around the waist, Ewan tries to whirl him around, but is a little too drunk and a little too tired to manage. He settles for just hugging him instead and sort of dragging him along. "A huge penis, eh? So now you admit it!"

"A huge, huge penis!" Jude laughs, spreading his hands out to indicate an organ of immense proportions. "The eighth wonder of the world! A dong the size of small planet! It's a wonder you don't wear three legged jeans!" He needs to hold on to Ewan for support because he's laughing so hard. "Enough to bring tears to your lovers' eyes and make them cross their legs... 'Oh no,' they cry, 'not him again. Last time I couldn't sit down for a week!'"

"You manage to suck it down pretty well." Ewan laughs, tickling him.

"Yeah but..." Jude frowns at Ewan, trying to focus on his face, "that's my super human powers of suckage..." He giggles again. "Super Blow Job Boy, that's me. Fighting super villains with the power of...wassitcalled again? Super Fellatio." Jude laughs again and winks at Ewan. "Of course, I need to practise more if I'm to become Super Blow Job Man..."

They're nearly home, so Ewan lets go of Jude for a moment to dig out his key and then slings an arm around him for the rest of the way. "Oh, I'll let you practise more. I'm sure all those blokes tonight would've been happy to help you out there, as well."

"Well, not many blokes would turn down a blow job," Jude concedes. "Good, bad, indifferent..." He waits patiently as Ewan unlocks the door. "I might try it one day, just to see if its as much fun as blowing you."

"Be sure to give me all the sordid details if you do." Ewan pushes Jude in ahead of him and then pulls the door shut. Even leaning against each other for support, the stairs seem an arduous task, and Ewan wishes there weren't quite so many of them.

Jude sighs, looking upwards. He glances at Ewan, who is quite clearly thinking the same thing. "Come on mate," he mutters. "One last effort and then we can go to bed. Ready?"

"I'm not gonna get any readier."

Gathering his remaining energy, Jude pushes forward up the stairs, Ewan with him, their combined momentum getting them to the top with only one moment when Jude suddenly worried they were going to fall backwards. Laughing still, he makes his way towards his room, arm still wrapped around Ewan. "Did I thank you for the night out? I can't remember. It was really good of you to take me and if I start getting all reluctant and...being a 'fraidy cat basically, feel free to slap me..." Bending down, Jude starts loosening one of his shoes.

"You did thank me, yeah." Ewan runs his hand over Jude's arse admiringly and then squeezes. "Anyway, I gotta piss," he says. "All that beer."

Pulling off his shirt and tossing it to the floor, he pads into the bathroom. He glances at his toothbrush while he pisses, but decides it's too much effort. His trousers get left in a heap on the floor, along with his shoes, but he does kick them away from the toilet. He doesn't even look in the direction of his own room as he heads back to Jude's.

Half sprawled across his bed, Jude has managed to get his shoes and socks off, but he's struggling with his jeans. "Give me a hand here," he says, looking up as Ewan comes back in. "I'm too fucking pissed..."

"Too right, you are. Look at you..." Ewan grabs both legs of Jude's jeans and tugs them off. "There. Much better." Pushing Jude over - or trying to anyway - he says, "C'mon, make room."

Scooting over quickly, Jude dives under the blankets and holds them up invitingly for Ewan. "C'mon. Don't stand around in the cold. I need you to warm me up."

"Yeah," Ewan says, climbing in and pulling Jude close. "I kinda missed having someone to sleep with while I was gone."

"Yeah, well, you're back here now," Jude murmurs, wrapping an arm around Ewan. He makes himself comfortable, his eyes already closed. "Too tired to shag though..." He smiles sleepily. "Too drunk to fuck. Someone should write a song about that..."

Already half asleep himself, Ewan just grunts in agreement and after a while mumbles, "Night..."

Jude doesn't answer. He's already asleep.


	11. Things Your Mum Would't Approve Of

With a frustrated sigh, Ewan turns his book over and reaches around to try to scratch his back. Again. Every time he scratches, the itch moves, and it keeps coming back to this one spot that he just can't quite get at. Bloody itch. He's barely read a paragraph in the last thirty minutes because he has to keep stopping to scratch. He tries using his book, but it's a paperback and old and the pages are too soft to do any good. Fine, then. He'll just ignore it.

That lasts about five minutes and then he's squirming around with both hands behind him, but it's still no use. He supposes he could get up and find something to scratch with - maybe his hairbrush would do - but he's too lazy.

"Jude?" he calls petulantly. No answer, though he knows Jude's home, because he was earlier and he hasn't heard him go out. Anyway, it's late. Where would Jude go? He calls again, louder, "Ju- _ude_!"

"Yeah, what? I'm here! You don't have to fucking yell..." Jude is already at the door, silent on his bare feet. He pauses, leaning against the door frame to look down at Ewan, sprawled on his stomach on the bed. Ewan's already half naked, and Jude can see the shirt he had been wearing flung on the floor half way across the room. Jude's eyes flick over the smooth line of Ewan's back and the way it leads down to the curve of his arse, disappearing into his low slung sweat pants. "What can I do for you?" he asks, his voice softening.

"My back itches," Ewan whines. "I can't reach and the itch keeps moving anyway."

Rolling his eyes, Jude straightens away from the door frame and picks his way through strewn clothing to the bed. "All right...I'll get it." He settles himself on the bed next to Ewan, feeling the mattress dip beneath him. "Where? In the middle?" he asks, sliding a hand down Ewan's back. He starts to scratch, in the middle at the top at first and then slowly working his way down.

"Hmmm...looks like you've got a scratch here," Jude murmurs after a while. There's a hair thin line across Ewan's back, a healing scratch. "This is probably what was itching so much."

"Mmm..." Turning his head, Ewan smiles up at Jude. "It's still itchy?" he says hopefully and wiggles his back a bit. His smile widens. "I'll make it worth your while..."

"Oh yeah?" Jude laughs, his smile brightening. He keeps scratching. "Maybe I ought to be the one making it worth your while, seeing as I probably put that mark there." He rubs at the scratch again, a thin flake of scabbed skin peeling away. "Tell you what, I could give you a proper massage. Aren't you cold like that?"

"Very cold," Ewan answers immediately, though he'd been too busy with the itchiness to notice before. A massage sounds brilliant, though. He likes the way Jude's fingers feel, warm on his back, and he's not in any hurry to lose that contact. "All right, show us your massage technique then."

"Hang on a tick. Stay there. I'll be right back." Grinning to himself, Jude scrambles from the bed, dashes to his room, digs in his drawer for some massage oil and hurries back to Ewan before Ewan has much of a chance to notice he's missing. He clambers back onto the bed, straddling Ewan's backside, his thighs on either side of Ewan's hips. "Just wanted to get some proper oil," he mutters breathlessly. "Make this good for you."

Pouring a little oil into his palm, Jude rubs his hands together to warm it up. "You're going to be putty in my hands, mate," he says, smiling as he places his fingers on either side of Ewan's spine and pushes upwards in a long smooth stroke. "Putty."

Ewan sighs happily. That feels good already. Jude's fingers glide smoothly over his back, pressing in to the muscles, and Ewan sighs again. "You do this a lot?" he asks after a few minutes. "I mean, you have massage oil and everything."

"Not lately. My skills are getting rusty." Having spread the oil all over Ewan's back, Jude concentrates on the base of his neck, digging his thumbs in hard. "It can be handy in persuading reluctant birds to get their kit off and lie on my bed." He chuckles to himself. "Well, it worked once or twice." He works his thumbs down each side of Ewan's spine and then makes broad circular motions over his back to keep him warm. "Of course, with you, you're hardly reluctant. I haven't had a chance to practice my seduction techniques."

"Why, Jude, are you suggesting I'm _easy_?" Ewan asks, pretending to be outraged. Jude just laughs at that, and Ewan closes his eyes, relaxing. "Try and seduce me then, why don't you."

"Are you going to play hard to get then?" Jude says smiling. Working under Ewan's shoulder blades, he presses in hard before moving slowly lower with brisk strokes along Ewan's sides and ribs. His fingers slide under the waistband of Ewan's track suit pants and pull gently. "Lift up then," he says softly. "Or are you going to tell me 'no'? Don't tell me you're shy now...it's just a little massage." His fingertips, circling sensuously over Ewan's upper arse, give lie to his words.

"Hard to get, yeah..." Ewan lifts his hips so that Jude can slide his sweats down. Why not? Jude's keeping him plenty warm; no need for clothes now. Once he's naked and Jude's back on top of him, he closes his eyes again. "Not too hard to get if you've already got me naked," he mumbles into the pillow and then laughs. "'m getting pretty hard, though."

"Did you know," Jude says conversationally, his fingers pressing deeply into Ewan's cheeks, massaging and kneading the flesh, "that the gluteus maximus, which is your butt muscle, is the largest muscle in your body? Did you?"

"You sure it's not my dick?"

Jude snorts with laughter. "Oh yes! I forgot. That's the largest muscle in the world. But...only after appropriate massaging." It's really nice now that Ewan's naked to be able to slide his hands in one long stroke from the crease at the top of his thigh to the nape of his neck, fingers dragging at the smooth, pale skin. Jude keeps stroking, although it occurs to him that he's rather be naked, too. Naked and straddling Ewan. Oh yes, that's an idea all right. "Would you like me to?" he says breathlessly. "Massage your...front, I mean."

"Is that all part of the grand seduction plan?" Ewan grins. His muscles are loose and ropey, in direct contrast to his cock, which feels as if it's boring a hole in the mattress. "Maybe I should act coy. Make you work for it..." He laughs then at the ridiculousness of that. "I don't think I know how."

"No, I should be the one acting virginal, shouldn't I?" Jude sits back and pulls off his shirt. His voice turns high and girlish. "Oooh, Mr. McGregor, you're not going to do anything my mum wouldn't approve of, are you?"

"I don't think your mum'd approve of you sitting on my naked arse, giving me a massage." Ewan snickers. "I'm sure she'll only get more horrified from here on out."

"Yeah..." Jude says, his hands stilling on Ewan's back. That's not something he really wants to think about and he suddenly wishes he'd not mentioned the subject, not even in joke. "Well...anyway, shall I carry on doing your back?" Jude slides a hand over Ewan's buttocks to keep the skin warm. His hand curves naturally over the rounded muscle and he squeezes. "Or do you want to roll over?"

"Weeell..." It does feel good just like this. Relaxing. But there's no question which Ewan's going to choose. "All right, then. Up." He wiggles impatiently until Jude rises up enough so that he can turn over onto his back. With Jude straddling him like this, it's giving Ewan all sorts of ideas. Like what it would feel like to have Jude riding him. He runs his hands over Jude's denim clad thighs and wonders if there's even the slightest chance.

"Oh yes..." Jude murmurs. "Look at that now. Let's see if I can work the stiffness out of some of these muscles too... Oh wait." Scrambling backwards, Jude pulls off his trousers and tosses them aside. "That's better," he says and grins at Ewan, straddling his thighs once more. Pouring more oil on his hands, he starts stroking Ewan's chest and belly, working further and further down but purposefully avoiding the one place he knows Ewan wants to be stroked.

 _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck._ Why does Jude have to be so damn hot? Ewan's finding it harder and harder to breathe. Either Jude is completely clueless or he wants to be fucked but doesn't want to say so. They both sound equally plausible, and Ewan really, really wants to believe it's the latter. Jude's fingers glide over his belly and thighs, getting closer and closer to his cock, but it's more the picture he has in his head of Jude lifting himself up and just sliding right down on Ewan's cock that has him making these desperate whimpering sounds in the back of his throat. _Fuck._ Reaching out, he grabs Jude's wrist and jerks him forward, pulling him down, wrapping his arms around Jude and kissing him.

"Oho!" Jude laughs, sliding his arms around Ewan and rubbing against him. "I thought you were playing hard to get!" He kisses Ewan. "I think you want one of those full body massages, don't you?" Sliding an oily hand down between their bodies, Jude wraps his fingers around Ewan's cock and begins to stroke it jerkily, his movements cramped by the way their bodies are crushed together.

"That's better." He's hard too, his erection pressed against Ewan's hip. Jude shifts, squirming around and shuffling his knees up the bed until his cock is aligned with Ewan's and he can stroke them both together. He moans, kissing along Ewan's jaw and nuzzling at his cheek. "Much better..."

Moaning, Ewan thrusts into Jude's hand, against his cock. _Oh fuck, that feels good._ "'m not very good at hard to get."

He finds the bottle next to them, leaking an oily spot onto the bed. Doesn't matter. He gets some on his fingers and reaches down, cupping Jude's arse with both hands and teasing between his cheeks. Not even close to his hole at first, just testing. It feels almost like he's seeing what he can get away with.

Closing his eyes, Jude catches his breath. Everything pales into insignificance compared to Ewan's slick fingers on his arse. He stills slowly, Ewan's cock still trapped in his hand, his whole body poised. _What does he want here?_ Jude bites his lip. He wants Ewan to press his finger inside him again. Like before. One finger, maybe two. _And then what? Then what?_

Stealthily, Jude spreads his knees a little more and tilts his arse up so that Ewan's fingers naturally slide further down. Closer. Brushing his lips over Ewan's ear, Jude is panting shallowly. His voice is a mere whisper of sound. "Yes."

 _Oh God._ Ewan draws in a shaky breath. Does Jude know how he _sounds_? The tip of his index finger brushes over the puckered skin and he can _feel_ how tense Jude is in his arms. Waiting for it. Wanting it, fucking hell.

One hand rests on the small of Jude's back, just above the curve of his arse. "Relax," he whispers, kissing Jude's jaw, his cheek, and then his lips. His finger slides in and Jude's so fucking tight, Ewan whimpers thinking how he'd feel around his cock.

Jude lets his breath out in a long slow moan. _Oh yes..._ That's what he wanted. He pushes back on Ewan's finger, trying to relax, trying not to clench up and go rigid. It's easier than he remembered, still a stretch but it's not uncomfortable. It's brilliant. Jude moans and grinds forward against Ewan's cock and then back again, letting Ewan work his finger in deeper.

"Oh, yes," he groans. "Like that..."

Ewan's heart is racing as he works a second finger in and God, if he thought Jude sounded good before. His fingers are digging into Ewan's shoulder and he's making this _sound_ that Ewan can't even describe, but it's like little hitched breaths and whimpers and it's the best thing Ewan's ever heard. "Love...this," he murmurs, catching himself just in time. He thrusts in harder, reaching for that spot and brushing his fingertips over it.

 _Oh God what was that?_ Jude shivers with pleasure, a thin high whine escaping his lips. There's no doubt about it. Ewan is fucking him with his fingers and he's loving it. Jude thrusts backwards, presses forwards, rocking himself back and forth as Ewan's fingers stretch him, pushing deeper inside him. "Oh Ewan..." he moans, "Ewan..."

This is brilliant. Brilliant. Their cocks slide together and Ewan moans and Jude whimpers again as he presses back on Ewan's fingers. "Jude, I..." Ewan kisses him hard, biting Jude's lip when he breaks away. "I want you..."

Every sharp intake of breath hisses in Jude's throat, his breathing shallow, half panicky. He releases Ewan's cock and slides up a little, feeling the hard shaft settle beneath his balls. Lifting his hand, tentative, Jude presses his fingertips to Ewan's cheek, touching his jaw, touching his lips softly. Jude knows what Ewan wants. "You want to...fuck me," he breathes. It isn't a question.

"Yes... God yeah." And admitting it makes Ewan want it that much more. "Want to fuck you." He shoves in hard, fingers curling, hitting Jude's prostate. Demonstrating.

"Aaah..." Jude grabs Ewan's shoulder, clings on. _Oh yes..._ He wriggles, squirming, and somehow Ewan's cock is between his legs, nudging at his arse. Arching his back, Jude leans up so that he can look down, staring directly into Ewan's eyes. He nods his head.

Ewan pulls his fingers out and pats around for the bottle, pouring a little more into his cupped hand. Slicking his cock, he positions himself, not even quite pressing in yet. Still testing. He wants to say something, reassure Jude or tell him to relax, but his mouth's so dry he can't speak. His hands are on Jude's hips, holding him steady, and after he swallows and swallows again, his voice finally comes out in a hoarse whisper. "Come on."

 _Okay. This is it._ The head of Ewan's cock is hot against his entrance. He can feel the empty ache inside him, wanting to be filled. Bracing his hands on Ewan's shoulders, Jude presses back slightly. It's weird, so much thicker than the fingers, and Jude can feel the stretch growing uncomfortable. He grits his teeth, sweat beginning to bead on his face and on his back. How much bigger than two fingers can a cock be? He pushes down again. And now it really is uncomfortable. It hurts. It hurts as much as anything he's ever felt, such an intimate pain, and Jude has a sudden terrifying thought of skin and muscle tearing, of blood, of being split open. He moans, unable to go further. "Hurts, Ewan..."

"I..." Ewan breathes out hard through his nose, trying desperately not to thrust up, trying to be careful. He doesn't know what to do. Jude's looking down at him, eyes wide and panicked, and Ewan doesn't want to hurt him. Should he stop? Continue and hope it's all right? There's a brief flash of anger at Jude, but he quickly pushes it away. "I'm sorry...?"

Jude's face twists in frustration. He wants this, but he's scared, too nervous to keep going. He pulls up and flops back down on Ewan's chest, still clinging to him. "No, it's me... It's my fault... I'm sorry, I'm just scared. It was hurting... I'm sorry." Resting his forehead against Ewan's shoulder, Jude feels like crying. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I just..." Ewan frowns and smoothes Jude's hair. _I don't remember it hurting that much. Why's he making such a fuss?_ "Anyway," he tips Jude's chin up, kissing him, "you wanna fuck me?" It's easier to just fall back on that.

"I..." Jude doesn't really want to fuck Ewan. He doesn't want to do anything right now because he feels stupid and wimpy and he doesn't think he's even hard any more. He wants Ewan to hold him and tell him it's okay but he doesn't even know how to ask for that. He's let Ewan down, he knows, and he can't make that worse now by refusing. "Yeah... sure," he says dully, "I'll fuck you instead." Lifting his head up he blinks at Ewan. "Got a condom?"

"Oh." Ewan blinks, only just now realising he'd forgotten all about that part. "In the drawer, yeah."

Rolling away from Ewan, Jude fumbles in the drawer for a condom and lube. He just needs a moment. It's easy enough to lie there next to Ewan and stroke himself back to full hardness, easy enough to slide the condom on and easy enough to scramble up to position himself between Ewan's legs, lube in hand, and start stretching him. The only thing that's difficult is knowing what to say. Pushing a couple of lubed fingers inside Ewan, Jude looks up at him. "Probably best this way. I know you love it." He smiles and curls his fingers a little, just like Ewan did, just to see his reaction. "I know I love it."

"Yeah," Ewan says, his eyes rolling back. _Fuck, that feels good._ "I do." This is brilliant; he should just stick with this and not try and force Jude to try something he probably doesn't really want anyway.

Forcing his mouth into a grin, he looks up at Jude and spreads his legs wider, trying to find his earlier enthusiasm. He just needs to stop thinking about it is all. Just stop thinking altogether and concentrate on nothing but the way Jude's thumbs feel, pressing into the backs of Ewan's knees as he lifts his legs up. The way Jude's cock feels sliding in. Jude's breath, hot as he leans down to kiss Ewan. His cock trapped between their sweaty, oily bodies. That's all. He holds Jude tight, not thinking of anything.

 _That's better._ Much better. Jude moans as he slides his body over Ewan's; comfortable, sweaty, familiar. "Yeah," he murmurs into Ewan's hair, "love it." Worming his hand in between their bodies he grasps Ewan's cock again. _Perfect._

"Yeah. Yeah..." Grunting, Ewan thrusts into Jude's fist. Just a few times and then he's coming, clutching tightly to Jude and then sinking back into the bed as his orgasm ebbs away.

"Mmm." Jude is sweating, his brows drawn together as he thrusts into Ewan. Not long now. He can feel his climax building and his fingers tighten on Ewan's legs. "Oh yes..." he gasps and he's coming, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. _Fuck that's good._

It takes a minute or two to come back from that. With a grunt, Jude finally rolls off Ewan and pulls off the condom. "There...that was good, wasn't it?" he says, patting Ewan's shoulder absently. "Must give you a massage more often."

"Brilliant," Ewan agrees. For a moment, he wonders if he should say anything else, apologise again maybe. But no, better just not to mention it at all.

"I should give you one," he murmurs. "Not now, though."

"Nah...not now," Jude agrees. He rolls onto his side, his hand still resting on Ewan's shoulder. He still feels a little strange and distant and the nagging disappointment won't go away. "So..." he says quietly, he's fingers stroking ever so gently, "is it all right if I stay here the night, then?"

"Yeah, 'course." It seems weird that Jude would even ask; Ewan's gotten so used to sleeping with him. "I was thinking of maybe taking a shower, though. Just rinsing off really quick." He yawns, but pushes himself up anyway, picking up the bottle of oil and the lube and setting them on the nightstand. "Wanna join me?"

For a moment, Jude hesitates. Then he nods. _Just act normal and casual and the weirdness will go away._ He grins. "Yeah, yeah sure. Better than you hogging all the hot water." Swinging his legs out of bed, Jude is feeling more like himself already. "I'll show you how to use that strange invention called soap, if you like. It's not that hard. You might come to enjoy it."

"Fuck you," Ewan says, grinning as he follows Jude to the bathroom.


	12. Boyfriend

"Yeah...no, no, totally... Totally understand." Jude is frowning, pacing up and down as he holds the phone to his ear. "Yeah, sure. We should." He twines his fingers in the cord, jiggling it in irritation. "Some other time then. Sure." Jude halts, his voice softening. "See you then. Bye!"

He feels like slamming the phone down. Carefully, Jude replaces the receiver and turns to Ewan. "Well, looks like I've been stood up," he grumbles.

"The bitch," Ewan says conversationally, not looking up from his book. He's sprawled out his stomach on the sofa wishing it was his bed. But there's no telly in the bedroom and he might get bored with reading and want to watch something, so he's out here instead. "What's her story?"

"God, you're heartless," Jude says, without heat. "She's not feeling up to it, that's all. Wants to stay in." Flopping down in the chair, Jude makes a face. "Trouble is, I can never really tell with birds... Does 'not tonight' just mean not tonight or is it like...the beginning of a slow, steady slide towards Dumpsville, population: me." He sighs. "Still, it's only our third date or something. It's not like she's my girlfriend or anything."

"'fraid I can't help you there, mate. My experience with birds is only slightly greater than nil." Turning on his side, Ewan props his head up on his elbow and eyes Jude as if examining him critically. "Though I can't imagine why anyone'd want to dump you. You're quite pretty, nice arse, good in bed - make that brilliant in bed," he adds with a grin, "good sense of humour, erm...what else?"

"Modest. Don't forget modest," Jude says and smiles. "When you put it like that, I'm quite a catch, aren't I? Although I'm not sure girls check out my arse that much..." He leans forward and winks at Ewan. "Anyway, the thing that really pisses me off is that it's one of my few nights off this month. And I'm damned if I'm going to spend it in, washing my hair and moping over Allison. Don't suppose you want to come to the movies with me?"

"I might be persuaded," Ewan says, pretending to consider. "What's in it for me?"

"I'll buy the popcorn." Jude grins. "Come on, Ewan, when did you last go out on a date?"

Ewan sticks out his tongue at Jude. "What are you implying? I copped off Sunday down the pub. And I seem to remember shagging you not two nights ago."

"Yeah, but..." Jude shakes his head, "I'm not talking about just shagging. Come on, we don't have to go see a chick flick. I'll even let you pick the movie."

"I dunno...what's out?" Ewan's going anyway, he doesn't know why he's even pretending like there was ever any other choice. "There's that new Dracula. It's got Keanu Reeves," he makes a face, "but still might be worth a go."

"Duuuude, Keanu is most excellent." Jude laughs. "Be interesting to see if he can handle the accent. All right. Dracula it is. Want me to hold your hand in the scary bits?"

Folding the page down to mark his place, Ewan closes his book, pushes himself up off the sofa. He grabs his crotch and leers at Jude. "You can hold my naughty bits, how's that?"

"Evil fucker." Jude rolls his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere near your bloody naughty bits in a bloody cinema...maybe later though." He smiles and licks his lower lip. "If you're lucky."

"Yeah, yeah, you know you want me." Ewan stretches, t-shirt pulling up to expose his belly, and looks around. "Where's my trainers?"

"Huh?" Jude stops staring at the faint line of hair disappearing into Ewan's jeans and glances around the room. "No idea, mate. Where you left them, at a guess. But please," he adds, a teasing touch of sarcasm in his tone, "there's no need to get all dressed up on my behalf. I wouldn't want you going to any trouble."

Ewan grins. "Anything for you."

He starts milling about the front room, eventually finding his shoes under an old jumper which was in turn under this morning's paper. Leaving the paper on the floor, he pulls the jumper over his head and shoves his feet into his trainers, wiggling his left foot around when the heel gets mashed down and won't come back up again. It doesn't work and he has to fix it by hand. "You all ready, then?" he asks, wobbling on one foot while he ties his laces.

"Uh...yeah, sure." Jude jumps to his feet. He hadn't been planning on leaving just yet but there's no reason to wait around. "We can get some burgers on the way. Or catch an early show and go to the club after." He grins and follows Ewan towards the door. "Even better than a date."

* * *

The cinema's not crowded when they get there, though it's hardly empty either. They buy their tickets, Ewan trying to wheedle Jude into buying his as well, and Jude insisting he only promised popcorn. Ewan puts on a big show then, clutching at his chest and waving his arms and going on about Jude ripping his heart out, and what a good friend he is to ditch his own plans when Jude's been stood up, and this is how he's treated? It's so over the top that everyone laughs, even Jude, though he still refuses to pay for anything more than popcorn. Ewan doesn't really care.

It's still a bit before the movie starts, but they buy their snacks, find their seats, somewhere in the middle towards the back. A good view assuming some freakishly tall idiot doesn't decide the perfect spot for him is in the row ahead. Ewan props his feet up on the seat in front of him, sips his Coke, natters on about nothing, trying to be witty just to see Jude smile.

Shoving popcorn in his mouth, Jude fights to hide his grin. When Ewan wants to be, he's so much fun to be around. Then again, he's nearly always good to be around, even when he's not really trying. Jude munches another mouthful and glances over at Ewan, noticing how bright his grin is in the semi-darkness. He offers him the bag of popcorn. "Wannthome?"

Taking a handful, Ewan says, "Don't eat it all before the film even starts," and then laughs because it's just the sort of thing his mum would say when he was small and would devour his sweets immediately, and then spend the rest of the film nicking Colin's.

The lights begin to dim not long after, and Ewan puts his feet down and squirms around getting comfortable. The previews are boring, boring, boring, nothing decent at all, though a quick glance at Jude shows he's paying close attention. Ewan rests his arm on the back of Jude's seat for about five seconds before thinking better of it. He takes another handful of popcorn instead.

Holding the popcorn between them, Jude settles back in his seat. In some ways, he's quite glad his date cancelled. She hadn't wanted to see Dracula, claiming it would be too scary. Not even the offer of hand holding -- or better -- would change her mind. Jude grins. Maybe he _will_ have to hold Ewan's hand in the scary parts.

It's good, despite Keanu and his laughable disappearing accent. Not that Ewan would say no to shagging Keanu, but he's hardly a great actor and the film would have been better served by someone else in the lead role. He says as much to Jude, who not surprisingly, agrees.

There's a group of four or five girls a few rows up who obviously couldn't care less about Keanu's acting skills and have so far shown an annoying tendency to squeal whenever he appears on screen, which is rather a lot, really. Stupid bints. Ewan wishes he had something other than popcorn that he could throw at them - he doesn't think popcorn would quite reach - and contents himself with muttered curses and the occasional snarky comment.

"Shhh..." Jude is giggling too much to really protest. "They'll be sighing over you too when you're up there," he whispers, nudging Ewan with his elbow. There's only a little bit of popcorn left in the carton now. Jude pushes it towards Ewan. "Here...finish it off if you want."

"I don't want them sighing over me," Ewan whispers, ignoring the popcorn. Hand on Jude's thigh, he leans in, lips brushing over his cheek.

Jude catches his breath. Ewan's hand is warm and heavy on his leg and he can feel Ewan's breath tickling his ear. "But the people who are going to pay your wages are going to want them..." He squirms in his seat, wondering if he should tell Ewan to take his hand away. Or move it higher. Turning his head slightly he rubs his cheek inconspicuously against Ewan's. "Be careful..." is all he says.

Well, that was an invitation if Ewan ever heard one. Not "no" or "don't" or "pay attention to the bloody film", but "be careful".

"Yeah, all right," he murmurs, tongue flicking out to catch the edge of Jude's ear for just a second before he settles back in his seat. His hand is still on Jude's thigh, fingers rubbing circles as he only half concentrates on the film.

 _God..._ If he was with a date and his date had her hand on his thigh like that, Jude reckons he'd have his arm around her by now, pulling her closer and kissing her in between scenes. Maybe even trying to slide his hand inside her top to undo her bra strap. And he wouldn't care if anyone noticed them. Instead he glances around nervously. It's dark in the cinema. There's no one near them in the same row and the people in front are far too busy watching the movie. Craning his head around as if looking for an exit, Jude checks out the row behind them. Again, there's no one directly behind. No one who would have a good view of what's going on.

Turning back to the screen, Jude tries to pay attention. Gary Oldman is being menacing and doing a damned good job of it. Ewan's fingers are drifting higher. Jude takes a shaky breath and slides down a little further in his seat, stretching his legs a little further apart. After all, no one's watching.

Grinning to himself, Ewan slides his hand higher, fingertips just barely brushing Jude's crotch. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Jude squirm, mouth open slightly and eyes wide and looking entirely too kissable for his own good. Ewan almost does. He's leaning over before he even notices, his other hand hovering above the armrest, about to reach over and pull Jude towards him. With a frustrated sigh, he sits back, suddenly conscious of how many other people are around and how embarrassed, and probably angry, Jude would be if he did anything that noticeable.

Jude smiles at Ewan and winks, although he's not sure if Ewan saw it in the darkened cinema. For a moment there he thought Ewan was going to -- nah, Ewan's not that daft. _This is such a weird situation._ He's sitting here watching a movie and he's hard. And he can't cuddle the person he's with. Jude wonders what it must be like to live like that all the time and it saddens him. _It must be fucking awful._ Ewan doesn't seem to care but to him it must seem normal. Jude sighs. _It's not fucking fair._ Well, fuck it, who's going to notice? Casually, as if just stretching out and making himself comfortable, Jude slides his hand along the back of the seat, his thumb brushing gently against Ewan's shoulder. It's not long before there's a dimly lit scene in the film. The whole auditorium darkens for a moment and Jude slides his arm down to wrap it around Ewan's waist. There. Much better.

Ewan blinks, catching his breath in surprise. It's not exactly comfortable having Jude's arm around him like this - he has to squirm around a bit before it's not pressing into his back awkwardly - but it's strangely thrilling.

Only pretending to be watching the movie now, he cups the bulge in Jude's jeans, gives it a squeeze. The fact that Jude's hard is thrilling, too, in an entirely different way. He fumbles with it a bit, but eventually gets the button undone, and then the zipper, and then he's worming his hand inside Jude's pants and wrapping his fingers around his cock.

Moaning softly, Jude tilts his hips, pushing gently into Ewan's hand. He keeps his eyes fixed firmly on the screen. If he ends up with a mad crush on Gary Oldman after this, he will blame Ewan. Shifting his hand lower, he plays with the waistband of Ewan's jeans, trying to work his fingers inside. The jeans are too tight. Leaning over as if to comment on the movie, Jude whispers in Ewan's ear. "Undo your trousers..."

Half-hard himself now, Ewan is more than happy to oblige. It takes longer than it should, fumbling one-handedly - and with his left hand, to boot - but he doesn't want to let go of Jude's dick lest Jude suddenly change his mind and zip up his jeans while Ewan is otherwise occupied. _There! Finally._ The zipper's easier, and once it's down he lets out contented sigh and mutters under his breath, "Much better."

"Mmm, yes." Smiling to himself, Jude works his hand into Ewan's jeans to cup his arse. He can't quite push down far enough. Ewan shifts his position again and Jude wriggles his fingers underneath him. _Perfect._ Sliding his middle finger between Ewan's cheeks, Jude strokes lightly over his entrance.

 _Christ..._ Ewan yanks his jumper down as far as he can over his lap and grabs his cock, trying to coordinate the job of jerking the both of them off at the same time and wishing he were ambidextrous. Legs spread as wide as the seat allows, he tries to wriggle back onto Jude's finger.

Surely it must be obvious to anyone who happens to look this way what they're doing, but he doesn't give a shit other than worrying that Jude will realise it, too, and want to stop. It's exhilarating; he's never done anything quite this public before.

Heart beating fast, Jude glances around again. There's still no-one looking. And why would they? Squeezing closer to Ewan, Jude tries to work his finger inside him. The angle is awkward and he can't push in more than knuckle deep but Ewan's squirming suggests he's enjoying it. Jude closes his eye briefly. The fear of being caught is exciting. Almost as exciting as the fingers slowly working his shaft.

Teeth digging into the inside of his lip, Ewan speeds up. No finesse, nothing special, just trying to get them both off before the film is over. It's working, too, and soon he feels his balls tightening and his right hand falters, his grip going slack as he concentrates on the last few strokes that will bring him off.

When he comes, he catches it in his hand and stills for a moment, breathing hard through his nose. Turning to grin at Jude, he leans forward slightly, wipes his hand off on the underside of the seat, and then starts up where he left off.

Jude is biting his lip, trying to keep from crying out, or even just moaning too loudly. _Fuck..._ Only his nervousness has kept him from coming already and now that Ewan has turned his full attention on him, it's only a matter of time. Moving the empty popcorn container to try and cover up their movements, Jude whimpers. No holding back now. His spine stiffens, the tension building and then, choking down a groan, he is coming. In the fucking cinema. It's brilliant. Jude closes his eyes. He doesn't even care about the film any more. Slowly the tremors ease and he slumps down in his seat, half resting against Ewan's shoulder. "Fuck..." he whispers.

"Maybe later." Taking the popcorn tub from Jude, Ewan scrapes his palm clean on the edge of it and then hands it back, grinning.

"God, that's disgusting," Jude mutters. He shakes his head and looks around. Remarkably, there's still no one looking in their direction. He's breathless, his pulse racing but he's slowly recovering. He sits up in his seat, his arm still around Ewan. It doesn't feel so dangerous any more. "We really should watch the rest of the movie," he whispers.

"Yeah, yeah." Ewan wipes his hands again on his jeans and does up his fly, then reaches over to do Jude's.

The rest of the movie goes by quickly, but they seem to have missed some important bits. Perhaps he'll hire it when it's released on video. Not that it's the best film ever and he'll die if he doesn't find out what happened, but it's decent enough, and Gary Oldman really does make an excellent Dracula.

By the time the credits roll, Jude is growing self-conscious again. People are getting up to leave and passing by their seats. Even though the lights aren't up yet, Jude pulls his arm away from Ewan and straightens in his seat. "Wanna go then?" he says, half rising.

"Sure." Ewan stands, stretches, grabs his Coke, sloshing the melted ice around. "What'd you think? ...Of the film, I mean," he adds, smirking.

"Oh, it was okay." Jude shrugs. "Gary Oldman was great as usual but Keanu was struggling a bit. Uh..." He smiles. "Suffice it to say that if this cinema visit is memorable it won't be because of the film." Grinning, he heads to the exit, binning the popcorn container in the nearest available bin and wiping his hands on his jeans.

"Memorable, eh?" Dropping his Coke in the bin, Ewan shoves his hands in his back pockets and rocks on his heels. "So what're we doing now, then? You wanna go clubbing or down the pub...? Or is it dinner, movie, and then you take me back to your flat to ravish me?"

"I dunno. We could go to your place instead," Jude says, teasing. "It's early. There's still plenty of time to go out and then do the ravishing afterwards. So, it's up to you. I'm easy."

"You are, aren't you?" Ewan tsks. "Sex on the first date, and in the cinema at that! I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!"

"It's the company I keep." Jude nudges Ewan with his elbow. "You're a bad influence on me."

"Are you implying something?"

"Not at all, not at all," Jude says, raising his eyebrows. "I'm saying it outright." He grins. "Come on then. If you're going to corrupt me you might as well finish the job and take me to the club."

"And here I thought I had you pretty well corrupted." Ewan grins and punches Jude on the shoulder. "Guess I'll just have to try harder. Club it is, then."

* * *

Still exhilarated from the cinema, Jude is in a buoyant mood, glad to get to the club. He grins broadly as he makes his way to the bar, Ewan close behind him, and orders their usual drinks. Looking around, he can see a couple of familiar faces, people he knows by sight if not by name. Handing Ewan his beer, Jude picks up his vodka and lemon and sips it thoughtfully. It's odd. He's been here...what? Three or four times? This will be the fourth time, he realises, and it's starting to feel comfortable and familiar. _At home in a gay bar? -- definitely an odd feeling._

"You want to go sit down somewhere?" Jude yells over the loud music at Ewan. "Or d'you want to socialise a bit?"

"Um..." It's always a bit of a weird feeling coming down here with Jude. On the one hand, Ewan wants to stick close, dance with Jude, snog Jude, drag Jude off to the bogs... It's all rather a bit pathetic if he thinks too long on it, which he generally tries not to do. On the other hand, what's the bloody point of coming down here if all he's going to do is spend the entire time with Jude and then go home with him, too? It's more than just a bit pathetic, really.

"Socialise, I guess," he says finally.

"Great," Jude says, grinning. "Come on then, introduce me to some of your friends. Or let's make some new ones. I'm feeling sociable."

* * *

Ewan's been out of sorts the entire way home. Well, earlier than that, even, if he's honest, but he can't quite put his finger on why. Jude certainly enjoyed himself, and maybe that's it. As they turn the corner onto their street, Ewan stuffs his hands in his pockets, walks backwards so he's facing Jude.

"Pretty keen on that one bloke...wossit? Gavin. Weren't you?" He grins. "Coulda copped off with him, I bet."

"Yeah, he seemed interested enough..." Jude frowns a little. "We were just talking about football though. Mostly."

"Maybe he'll be there again next time. You should've at least got his number."

"Fuck off!" Jude scoffs, half laughing. "What would I do with his number? Give it to you, I expect." It's true, it had been a good evening, and he'd enjoyed the teasing conversation about football and the relative merits of Spurs and Chelsea, and life in general. Until Gavin had started suggesting they visit the toilets together, that is, and Jude hadn't quite known what to say. He shrugs. "He was all right, I suppose."

"Was he? You ought to've, then." Ewan doesn't know why he keeps poking at it like this. "After all, must get boring only shagging me and some birds."

"No..." Jude is beginning to wonder if Ewan is really teasing. There's a strange edge to his tone of voice. "I'll never get bored of shagging birds..."

"Whatever." Shrugging, Ewan turns on his heel, digs out his keys, and tosses them up in the air, running forward to catch them. "I was just trying to help. Don't mind me." He's at the flat now, fumbling with the lock as he waits for Jude to catch up.

"Hey! Hey..." Jude quickens his step and follows, pulling breathlessly to a halt just behind Ewan as the door swings open. He pats Ewan's arse discreetly and shoulders past him into the house. "Didn't say I was going to get bored of shagging you, though."

Kicking the door shut behind him, Ewan follows Jude up the stairs. "I didn't say you would, either. I just thought you might like a little variety, that's all. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah...uh, no..." Jude shakes his head. "I dunno. We got anything to eat?"

"Surely there's something. Wasn't there pizza left over from last night?"

"I think so. Unless you ate it for breakfast." Jude opens the fridge and sure enough, still in the pizza box are a couple of slices of pepperoni pizza. "Here we go. I can warm it up in the oven." Pulling the box out, he turns on the grill, waiting until the element starts to glow red before sliding the pizza in. "There...so, why didn't you cop of with, uh, that guy _you_ were talking to? What was his name? The blond one, not the dark haired one you were chatting to before. Now, he was definitely coming on to you, even I could tell."

"Well, I didn't want to leave you alone there, did I?" Ewan says, rummaging about in the fridge. "Haven't we got anything to drink? Oh, here we are." There's a lone Coke can all the way in the back and he pulls it out, cracks it open and takes a drink. "We'll have to share. Ought to've gone to the shops today, it seems."

"Yeah, well..." Jude shrugs. He bends down, peering into the grill to make sure the pizza isn't burning. "It's okay, you know..." he says over his shoulder. "If you wanted to go off with some guy, you don't have to stick around on my account." Perhaps this is why Ewan's irritable. He's missed out on a shag because he was feeling responsible for _him._ Jude straightens and looks over at Ewan. "I mean, I'm perfectly capable of getting home on my own if I have to..." He grins. "Might even have taken Gavin up on his offer."

"Next time I will, then. See if I don't." Ewan wanders back into the sitting room and flops down into the chair. "Otherwise it's no wonder everyone thinks you're my boyfriend."

"For fuck's sake..." Jude says irritably, "Gavin said that as well. Asked if you were my boyfriend." The pizza is probably warm enough now, the cheese looking sticky and beginning to melt. Jude pulls out the grill tray and, juggling the hot slices from hand to hand, plonks them back in the box. "I said no, of course. Told him I was straight. Here." Pushing some papers and an empty can off the coffee table, Jude makes room for the pizza box and then sits down on the sofa with his own slice. "Fucking twat laughed at me. Said straight guys didn't go to gay bars with their boyfriends." Jude shrugs and takes a bite of pizza.

Half standing, Ewan leans forward to grab the other piece. "Hot. Fuck." He sits back down again, blows on the pizza a couple times, and takes a bite. Mouth full, he says, "I dunno if you've noticed, but you're not exactly straight."

Jude frowns, bristling. "Yeah, but I'm not gay either. Not that there's anything wrong with that...just, I'm not..." And he doesn't want to be either. Life's complicated enough without adding to his worries. "Look, you're the only guy I've ever fucked, and I probably wouldn't even have done that if you weren't my best friend and queer yourself. It's not like I'm picking up blokes all the time and letting them fuck me. Like I said, nothing wrong with it, but it's...just not who I am."

"But you fancied that Gavin," Ewan says, trying to keep his voice steady. Jude doesn't mean it how it sounds; he knows that. "Anyway, I never said you're gay. You like birds, God knows why." He tries to make it sound jokey, but it falls flat, sounds like an accusation instead. "Anyway, I just meant you're not a hundred percent straight."

"Yeah...I mean, no, I suppose not," Jude says with a sigh. He's silent for a minute, eating his pizza. "Look at it this way...in our line of work there's plenty of guys who are gay and out about it. I mean, we can probably both name a dozen actors...and I mean, especially in theatre. I know loads of directors who don't care if people know they're shagging Benvolio or whatever. But look up from there." He gestures upwards with the crust of his pizza slice. "The top productions...everyone's either straight or firmly in the closet. How many gay Hollywood stars can you name? Who aren't dead or ancient, I mean. None."

Jude's finished his pizza now. He starts licking his fingers one by one. "I mean, face it, if you want to have a decent career, get work in mainstream productions...you're going to have to start hiding, be more discreet. And me?" He shakes his head. "I don't want that complication."

"I know..." _No need to fucking lecture me._ "Fine, you're straight, then. Straight as an arrow. Better stop fucking me now. Hell, maybe you ought to stop associating with me, too, just in case." It sounds horrible and Ewan's sorry as soon as he says it, but he can't take it back now. He stares down at his pizza, picking at the last piece of pepperoni.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Jude snaps. "Nobody gives a shit who I'm shagging right now. Nobody except you and me."

"This is stupid." Stuffing the rest of the pizza in his mouth, Ewan says, "Anyway, _I_ don't care who you fuck. D'you want any Coke? Only I'm gonna drink the last if you don't."

"You have it. I don't want it," Jude says sulkily. He folds his arms over his chest and stretches his legs out, feet crossed at the ankle, not sure if he's more annoyed about Ewan's comments about his not being straight or about Ewan's indifference to his sex life. And it doesn't look like he's going to get a fuck tonight, that's for sure. "Maybe I should have gone off with Gavin, then." He's still pouting. "Least I'd have got laid. And I bet he would have had beer in his fridge, the smarmy tosser."

"Whose fault is it there's no beer? Just as much yours as mine." Toeing out of his trainers, Ewan finishes off the Coke. _Bloody hell, why the fuck's Jude have to look so God damn cute when he pouts._ It makes Ewan want to sit down on his lap and just suck on his lower lip until it's bruised and swollen. Probably no chance of that now; Jude doesn't sound in the mood for shagging.

"I'll get some tomorrow..." Jude mutters, rolling his eyes. He sighs again, blowing out hard and stares at the empty pizza box. "Wouldn't have gone off with that guy anyway. He was nice, but he liked the look of my arse too much." Because if anyone's going to fuck him, it's going to be Ewan, and not some stranger, and certainly not in the toilets of some bar. "And besides..." It's now or never, or he's going to end up sleeping alone. "I'd rather shag you."

"Dunno why not," Ewan says. "You two seemed to be getting on well enough. Anyway," standing, he pulls his jumper and t-shirt over his head and dumps them on the chair, "I'm knackered." He undoes his fly and shoves his jeans down, kicking them off as he walks towards his bedroom. Halfway there, he stops. "You coming?"

"Yeah?" Jude is a little surprised as Ewan still sounds annoyed, but he scrambles up from the sofa and follows Ewan down the hallway. "Yeah, okay...um..." He's not quite sure what to say. Thanks? "Your room, then?"

"Sure." Not bothering to turn on the light, Ewan pads in and throws himself down on the bed, face down. "Ow! Bloody hell..." He rolls to the side, picks up the video cassette that had poked him in the chest, and drops it onto the floor before flopping back onto his belly.

Uncertain now, Jude sits down carefully on the edge of the bed and starts to pull his shoes off. He really doesn't know if he should be here. But here he is, slowly undressing, about to get into his - _friend, friend, he's just a friend_ \- friend's bed, and the familiar smell of his room, his clothes lying around, the faint scent of lube and sex in the air, it's all having a predictable effect on his body. By the time he leans back to slide his jeans down, Jude's half hard and getting harder. "Hey..." he says softly. "You wanna move over?"

"I'm moved," Ewan mumbles, but he scoots over a bit more anyway, leaving room for Jude next to him. Reaching out, he runs his hand up over Jude's thigh. "C'mere."

"I'm here," Jude says. He lies down and rolls over onto his side, running his hand down Ewan's arm. "'s cold... Let's get under the covers."

That means getting up again, at least somewhat. Ewan grunts, pushes himself up enough to get the blankets down, and then pulls them up around their waists. As he wraps his arms around Jude, he's sort of wishing he hadn't said anything, had just gone to bed and shut the door behind him, but then Jude's mouth's on his, hands on his arse, dick pressing into his thigh, and he's not thinking anything anymore.

This is more like it. No more stupid talking, just sex and bodies wrapped around each other, grinding together, the heat rising between them. Jude keeps kissing Ewan, tongue sliding between his lips, moaning softly into his mouth because he doesn't want to say another word or hear one either. His fingers are on Ewan's arse, kneading his cheeks, spreading them and sliding down into the crack. Just sex.

Ewan hooks one leg over Jude's hip, draws it up higher over his waist, pressing close. Jude's cock slides against the crease of his groin, brushing his balls. "Want you," Ewan moans between kisses, feeling Jude's fingers teasing at his hole.

 _Want you, too._ Those words are all right, Jude doesn't mind them. He just can't seem to say it right now. He circles a finger around Ewan's arsehole, pressing in just enough to feel how tight he is. _Always so tight, so good._

"Yeah," Ewan murmurs. _Yeah, that's perfect._ He bears down on Jude's finger, cock twitching in response. Whimpering, he kisses his way down Jude's neck to his collarbone, sucking, wanting to leave a mark. He thinks there's lube and condoms on the bedside table, under the junk there somewhere, and he mumbles something to that effect.

Stretching a hand out, Jude gropes around on the table until he finds the by-now-familiar tube and a small foil packet nearby. It's a little tricky to roll the condom on in the dark, but he's been getting enough practice, guiding himself through the process by touch alone while Ewan nuzzles along his neck and collarbone. _It's nice..._ Jude sits up a little, running his fingers over Ewan's hip to cup one arse cheek. _That's nice, too._ Lube next, the anticipation simmering away as Jude slides his fingers in deep, knowing from experience that Ewan enjoys the burn.

Ewan moans, wriggling around so he's more on his back, his hands skimming over Jude's chest. Rocking his hips, he pushes down on Jude's fingers, breath catching as they hit his prostate. No thinking, just the feel of Jude inside him. Nothing else matters. He thumbs Jude's nipple, pressing hard. Breathing raggedly, he arches up. "Fuck me."

Jude nods, gasping. That's what he's here for, after all. There's enough lube on his fingers to slick his prick as he crawls into position, pinching the tip of the condom and pressing against Ewan's entrance. He pushes in. _Fuck...always so good._ Grabbing Ewan's knees, Jude pushes them up and apart and then shoves in all the way, hard as he can, rocking Ewan up the bed.

"Oh. God." The words are jerked out of Ewan in sharp gasps as Jude pounds into him. Ewan reaches back, braces his hands against the headboard, and just hangs on. There's just enough lube that Jude's cock slides in and out easily. _Brilliant._ A good, hard fuck is exactly what he needed.

Grunting from the effort, Jude slams in again and again. This is what he needs, what they both need. He grits his teeth and pushes harder, Ewan's feet jerking in the air as he thrusts.

One hand still firmly on the headboard - he's going to be fucked right into it otherwise - Ewan reaches down, grabs his cock, and starts pulling roughly. It seems to go on forever, til they're both drenched in sweat and gasping. Ewan can feel his orgasm pooling in his belly, balls drawn up so tight they feel as if they're going to crawl back inside him. "Clo-" is all he manages to get out before he's coming, mouth widening in an inarticulate moan.

The breath hissing through his teeth, Jude grinds in again and has to gasp as Ewan's body tightens around him. _Oh yes...nearly there._ Still pressing on Ewan's knees, Jude quickens his pace, not quite so deep but faster, faster until the rush builds and he's coming, too. "Yes..."

Jude's face when he comes is something Ewan doesn't think he'll ever get tired of seeing. This time his eyes are squeezed shut, his lips parted as he gasps for breath, a flush spreading across his cheeks. Sliding his hand up Jude's arm, Ewan grabs him by the shoulder, tugs him down. "C'mere..."

Jude groans and lowers himself down, sliding an arm around Ewan's waist as he settles his head on Ewan's shoulder. Ewan's legs, no longer held up, flop to the mattress and Jude lifts himself up a little so that they can both spread out, make themselves comfortable. It's weird. After all that talk of Ewan being his boyfriend, or not being his boyfriend, Jude finds he's content here, snuggling into Ewan's arms.

A wave of affection washes through him and he kisses Ewan's neck. If it was just him and Ewan, away from the rest of the world, marooned on a desert island somewhere, Jude thinks he could be happy...but it's not. That's just a fantasy. They're living in the real world and its more complicated than that. Saddened, Jude stares into the darkness and listens to his lover's heartbeat.

It's nice at first, lying tangled up with Jude, the sheets pushed down around their feet. If Ewan could just fall asleep now, it'd be perfect, but he can't. He's wide awake, and the longer he lies here, the more tense he gets until finally he jerks away, sits up, pulling his knees to his chest. "'s too hot," he says, even though his sweat's already dried and he's starting to chill.

"Sorry," Jude says automatically. He rolls away, lying on his back and staring upwards. It's his fault, lying all over Ewan, squashing him, not giving him room to move. And if he hadn't tagged along to the club tonight, Ewan would probably have got off with some guy who would know how to do it right, could fuck him without needing to be told how to do it, who might even be able to roll over and return the favour.

If Ewan didn't have him hanging around all the time, he might even have a proper boyfriend by now, someone who could give him what he needs and not this...this half-and-half relationship, more than just fuck-buddies but not...not boyfriends. Because Jude knows he just can't take that step. Just sex between mates is fine but he can't complicate his life with anything further than that.

"I should go," he says eventually. "I need to sleep...you do, too." Sitting up, he slides his feet onto the floor and stands. "Look, thanks...that was really great. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

"Yeah..." Ewan hopes his grin doesn't look too forced. "Yeah, it was fucking brilliant. Be feeling that tomorrow." He squirms a little, wincing. Jude still hasn't moved. "So..." Pulling the covers up, Ewan rubs at his chest, lies down again, scooting to the middle of the bed and turning his back to Jude. "G'night, then."

"Yeah...night." Jude bends down to pick his clothes up off the floor, gathering them up in his arms. It's really hard to step out of Ewan's room, part of him just wanting to fling himself on the bed, curl around Ewan and stay there, but that's wrong, won't work. He just has to be strong. "See ya, then." Jude closes the door behind him.


	13. The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

It's late when Ewan lets himself in. For the past month or more, maybe two, this has been his schedule: go out clubbing, cop off with someone for a quickie in the bogs, then find someone to go home with. He's only managed to stay the night a few times - he never sleeps well with someone else in the bed, unless that someone else is Jude, and he just doesn't want to think about that right now - and so most nights he comes back home and just hopes they're already asleep.

He's hoping maybe Samantha's even gone home, but as he creeps up the stairs, he can hear her voice, and even worse, he can hear Jude, too, and the creak of bedsprings. He hurries into his room and shuts the door. That blocks most of the sound, but he's not quick enough to miss the "Oh, oh...Sammy!" in that high, breathless voice that means Jude's about to come.

Ewan yanks off his shirt and jumper and throws them in the corner. He shoves his jeans down and kicks them off with his trainers, and then he crawls into bed and tries to ignore the fact that he needs to piss. He's not opening the door again, so he'll just have to deal with it.

The tightness in his chest isn't helping anything, either. It's stupid to feel jealous. He never felt jealous before, not really, and it's not like he had anything with Jude anyway. Maybe it has been nearly a year since they've been shagging, but he knew it wasn't anything more than that. He'd just got used to it is all. He'd got used to Jude being there and wanting him, and maybe occasionally Jude would pull a bird down the pub, or have a date or two, but it was short-lived and he was always back in Ewan's bed - or Ewan in his - within the week.

And now he's not, and it's just...taking some getting used to. You shag someone for the better part of a year and it gets to be a habit. That's really all it is.

After an hour of tossing and turning, Ewan still can't get to sleep. He sits up and gets out of bed, rooting around for a pair of shorts. They should be asleep by now; it should be safe. He can go take a piss and get this stale smoke taste out of his mouth while he's at it.

 _Bloody Hell._ Jude opens one eye, not sure if he fell asleep or what. It can't have been long. Sammy's still curled up with her arm wrapped around his and one knee flung over his leg. And his bladder's aching. Maybe it _has_ been a while.

Disentangling himself slowly, Jude leans in to press a kiss to Sammy's shoulder. She stirs sleepily, making some soft moan that sounds like a question. "Shhh..." Jude whispers, stroking her arm. "Just going for a piss. Go back to sleep."

It's quiet in the flat. Jude doesn't bother with getting dressed. He thought he might have heard Ewan coming in earlier but he's surely crashed out by now. Padding up the hallway, however, Jude barely registers the fact that the bathroom light's still on. He pushes the door open.

"Oh...sorry." Jude is surprised to see Ewan in there, peering blearily into the bathroom mirror. "I...uh...didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah," Ewan wipes the back of his hand across his mouth to catch any stray toothpaste and then grins at Jude in the mirror, "you sounded pretty busy."

"Huh? Oh..." Jude looks down, blushes furiously. "Hope we didn't uh...keep you awake or anything."

"Nah, I was..." Ewan loses his train of thought as he takes in Jude's appearance: hair sticking out at odd angles, his cock sticky, and a small, red love bite on his neck. He turns back to the sink quickly, putting his toothbrush away and trying to ignore the insistent voice in the back of his head saying he should be the one making Jude look like that. "I was just reading for a bit. Not really tired for some reason."

"You were at the club? Didn't get lucky then?" Jude can't rid himself of this odd feeling of guilt. Palming his cock loosely, he positions himself in front of the toilet pan, not really looking at Ewan. It would all be so much _neater_ if Ewan could find himself someone else to sleep with, fuck, whatever and then Jude would feel like he was off the hook a bit. Like he hadn't just gone and left Ewan in the lurch the moment Samantha had come along. He tries to make light of it. "What's up? Losing your touch?"

"Oh, I pulled." Ewan smirks. "Once at the club - we very nearly had it off on the dance floor, but somehow managed to make it to a quite corner in the toilets - and then later on I went home with this bloke, Simon, I think his name was." Shrugging, he adds, "Just didn't feel like staying is all." He glances sidelong at Jude, wondering if Jude's even the tiniest bit jealous. Probably not.

"Oh, that's a shame..." Jude winces. That didn't come out the way he meant at all. "I mean, not a shame that you came back. A shame that...none of these blokes..." Good job he's nearly finished pissing because he's getting in deeper water with every word here. "Maybe you should bring one of 'em back here some time," he adds hopefully.

"Uh, yeah, maybe I will..." There's really no reason now not to go back to his own room, but still Ewan hesitates for a moment before saying, "See you in the morning, I guess."

"Yeah..." Jude shakes the last drops from his cock and turns, jostling past Ewan on his way to the sink as Ewan tries to squeeze past him on his way to the door. It's strange how they're trying not to touch each other. And how he can't quite look Ewan in the eye. "See you then..."

"Right," Ewan says brightly. "G'night, then."

* * *

Letting himself in, Jude weaves his way up the stairs into the flat. It's dark in the living room. It always seems to be these days, for some reason. Ewan must be out again. Or not... Faintly, from down the corridor, Jude can hear some kind of noise, like someone moving around in Ewan's room.

Jude kicks off his shoes, grabs a couple of beers from the fridge and pads down the hallway. It's not that late, so maybe Ewan would like some company. It's been a while since they spent a night in just sitting around and... _oh_. Jude freezes right outside Ewan's door. That's not just Ewan moving around in there; that's Ewan and some other guy. And they're clearly fucking.

It's not like it's unexpected. Ewan's brought a few guys home recently. Jude wonders if it's the punk guy with the spiky blond hair and the nose ring, or the elegant brunet who had raked Jude with an assessing look before disappearing back into Ewan's room. The low groans continue and Jude doesn't recognise the voice. Perhaps it's neither. Perhaps its someone new. But _that's_ Ewan's voice, unmistakable, getting louder and louder. "Oh! Fuck...harder! Harder!" It's so familiar, for an instant Jude feels like he's inside the room with him, Ewan's back arched below him and his arse upturned towards him as Jude lines himself up and plunges in.

"Oh God..." It's a tiny whimper. Jude bites his lip. The last thing he wants to do is be caught out here with a semi hard-on, listening to Ewan getting fucked. Quietly as he can, Jude turns and creeps back down the hallway to the kitchen where he dumps the spare beer back in the fridge. He probably should go to bed but...but then he'd be right next door. Slouching into the living room, Jude flicks on the TV, finds some late night movie, and drops himself down on the sofa. If it goes quiet, he can sneak into his room. And if not, there's no harm in sleeping on the sofa.

With a grunt, Ewan worms his way out from under Bill and rolls out of bed. He stretches, cracking his neck, and says, "Hey, I'm gonna clean off. You want a beer before you go?"

"Mmm?" Bill blinks at him, and then says, "Oh yeah, sure," and Ewan wonders if Bill assumed he'd be spending the night. _Not my problem._

Leaving Bill to get dressed, he opens the door and pads into the bathroom. He runs the end of a towel under the tap and wipes himself down, and when he turns the water off, he realises he can hear the telly on in the sitting room. "Jude? You home?" he calls.

"Yeah... Yeah, it's me." Jude sits up to peer over the top of the sofa. He can't see Ewan, but the bathroom light is on. "Expecting someone else?"

"Nah. Stupid question, I know." Ewan scrubs himself dry and pulls on a pair of tracksuit bottoms that he's pretty sure aren't his. Maybe Jude left them in here last time he showered, certainly Ewan wouldn't have hung them neatly over the towel rack. He makes his way out to the sitting room and is both relieved and stupidly pleased to see Jude is alone. "Just you?"

"Yep. Just me." Jude doesn't need to ask if Ewan's alone because even as he's grinning up at Ewan, the bedroom door opens and another guy strolls out. Jude doesn't think he's seen him before. He's bigger than the skinny punk and his brown hair is longer than the other guy's but he's probably the most attractive yet. Jude tries not to scowl at this interloper. He schools his face into a neutral expression and gestures to the fridge. "You guys want some beer? There's plenty in the fridge."

"Oh good. Beer's exactly what we're after." Turning to Bill, Ewan says, "Bill, this is my flatmate, Jude." Jude and Bill mutter hi, and that's good enough for Ewan. He rests his hand on Bill's bicep. "Hang on a sec and I'll get us a couple bottles. Have a seat."

Jude glances over at the guy. He can sit here and be churlish or he can attempt to be friendly. "So, uh..." he murmurs, giving Bill a nod, and wondering what to say. "You been at the club then?"

"Yeah," Bill grins, "Heaven's not my usual spot, but that may change. You go there often?"

"Me?" Jude's taken aback. "No...no, I don't go there very often at all. Just a couple of times with Ewan." He looks up as Ewan appears from the kitchen with a couple more beers. "Right, Ewan?"

"Yeah, not really Jude's thing." Handing Bill a beer, Ewan shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other and wishes he hadn't told Bill to sit down.

Thankfully, Bill seems to realise he's not exactly welcome, because after a few moments, he pushes himself up off the sofa and says, "I ought to be going." He takes a drink and grins at Jude, his gaze lingering a bit too long for Ewan's taste. "Good to meet you."

"Yeah...see you around, maybe." Jude takes a sip of his beer and turns back to the TV while Ewan lets the guy out. He's barely had time to pick up the plot of the movie again when Ewan is back, flopping down next to him. Jude doesn't take his eyes off the screen. "Good night, then?" he asks casually.

"Oh yeah," Ewan grins, "very." Propping his legs up on the coffee table, he glances over at Jude, eyebrows raised. "What about you? No Samantha tonight?"

Jude shakes his head. "Dropped her off home. She's got an audition tomorrow. Wanted her beauty sleep." He takes another sip of his beer and grins. "Told her she didn't need it, but she wouldn't listen. So it's just me and the beer and the TV tonight."

"Well, I hope you won't mind if I join you," Ewan says. It feels like ages since he's had a night of camping out in front of the telly with Jude. Either Jude's off with Samantha, or she's here, or Ewan's out himself. He nudges Jude with his elbow, grinning. "Course if you and your beer would rather be alone..."

"I reckon there's enough to go around," Jude says, shooting Ewan an amused look. He props his feet up on the table next to Ewan's and gestures at the TV. "Just don't ask me what's happening in the movie. I've no fucking idea."

"And here I was counting on you to fill me in."

Ewan tries to get into the film, but it must be over halfway through already and he can't for the life of him figure out what's supposed to be happening. He sets his empty bottle down on the table and yawns as he settles back against the sofa, tucking his feet up under him. It's not that long before he's starting to nod off, listing more and more to the side til his head's resting on Jude's shoulder.

"Hey..." Jude nudges him slightly but Ewan barely stirs. It's hardly worth waking him, though, so Jude just slides his arm around Ewan's shoulder, trying to get more comfortable. The film's plodding towards its climax and, even though it's rubbish, Jude wants to find out if it really was the husband after all or if there's a twist. By the time it gets to the dramatic conclusion - and how predictable, it was the husband after all - Ewan's more or less leaning against him. "Hey..." Jude tries again as the credits roll. "You awake there, Ewan?"

"Muh? 'm awake, yeah..." Ewan mumbles. He squirms around a bit, sliding down so his head's resting on Jude's chest and slinging one arm around Jude's waist. "'wake..."

"No you're not," Jude grumbles, amused. He swivels his head back towards the TV, wondering what else is on and if he should be getting to bed. The ads are still on and Ewan is a warm and familiar weight in his arms. _Ewan's such a dork, falling asleep like this._ Jude pulls him closer and leans in to kiss the top of his head. _I shouldn't be doing this._

Jude stops, freezes in place. No, he really shouldn't be doing this. He hasn't slept with Ewan since he started dating Samantha and to pick up again like...like they were lovers is just going to complicate things. It was just a...a _thing_ between them, because they were both young and horny and open-minded. Experimentation is great, but that's all it was for him. Jude pulls his leg away from where it had somehow got tangled around Ewan's. And just because he's a little aroused, well that just goes to show how quickly some things can become a habit.

More roughly this time, Jude gives Ewan another shake. "Hey, mate. I've got to get to bed." The ads are over and from the cheesy grins of the presenters, it looks like its the shopping network or something on now. "C'mon, Ewan, I've got to get up."

Ewan blinks, wondering why everything is green, until it slowly dawns on him that he's got his face smushed up against Jude's t-shirt. And Jude is shaking him. "Yeah, yeah..." Hand on Jude's thigh, he pushes himself upright, and it's only after he kisses Jude that he remembers he shouldn't have. "Sorry." He straightens, pulling away, and runs his fingers through his hair. "Sorry..."

"Hey, no. It's okay." Jude's still catching his breath. "Thought I was your boyfriend, eh?" He shifts awkwardly and eases into an upright position, elbows propped on his knees to hide the bulge in his jeans. "Bill, I mean... Anyway. I've got to get to bed."

"Yeah...me, too." Ewan stands and scratches his balls absently. He wonders what would have happened if he hadn't stopped; chances are Jude would have pushed him away and it would have been even more awkward. "And Bill's not my boyfriend...I don't even know him." Turning on his heel, he pads back into his bedroom, calling over his shoulder, "G'night."

"Night!" Jude calls after him, watching him disappear down the corridor. It's a minute or two before he stands, lets out a long breath and follows Ewan, turning aside into his own room with an odd sense of loss.

* * *

It's been a while since they've had a night down the pub, just the two of them. But Samantha's been busy with rehearsals lately, leaving Jude at a bit of a loose end. One which Ewan is only too happy to tie up.

He tells himself he doesn't have any ulterior motives, that he's not trying to get Jude drunk in hopes of...anything. But once he's got a few beers in him, Jude is a lot more relaxed, and Ewan's feeling reckless, wondering if maybe he ought to push it after all.

He's touching Jude more than he has in months, hand resting longer than necessary on Jude's shoulder as he gets up for another round, thigh pressed to Jude's when he sits back down again, and he almost thinks he could be content with just this. It's easy and comfortable and uncomplicated.

All evening, Jude's been noticing the little touches, the way Ewan sits just a little bit closer than he needs to. It should be awkward but it's exciting in a way. Ewan still wants him. Maybe it's not even conscious, maybe Ewan's not aware of what he's doing.

Of course, Jude knows he's not going to do anything about it, but it's not like he wants to pull away either. And as long as he doesn't respond, he tells himself, it's not like he's leading Ewan on. When he slings an arm around Ewan's shoulders and gives him a squeeze, it's just a friendly hug, nothing more. Just mates.

By the time it's pub-chucking-out time, Jude's almost leaning against Ewan. It doesn't seem odd at all. When they have to leave, it's Ewan who jumps up first and hauls Jude to his feet, and if he's a little over-keen in making sure Jude is steady on his feet, Jude doesn't mind. Grabbing a few extra beers from the off-licence on the way out, Jude bounces along next to Ewan for the short walk home. "'s good, this." He grins. "Haven't done it for a while..."

"Yeah," Ewan says, and his imagination is already racing ahead, providing him with detailed visions of what else they could be doing that they haven't done in a while. "Sometimes you just need to get out with your mates."

"Or stay in." Jude dangles the six pack in front of Ewan's face. "Only thing we need now is football on the TV."

"Yeah, if you want to put me to sleep." Ewan pulls a face and punches Jude on the arm. As they near the flat, he fishes his keys out of his pocket and jingles them. "Though I think just about anything on this time of night is likely to be just as boring."

"Yeah...talking heads. Newsnight or something." Jude shrugs, standing aside to let Ewan open the door. "Bit early for bed, though. We got any videos?"

"I've got a couple new pornos," Ewan says, just to see the look on Jude's face.

"Uh...don't think so." Jude shoots Ewan a crooked grin and then rolls his eyes. "Not really my cup o' tea. Normal stuff's bad enough. Maybe there's a film on..."

"Come on," Ewan says, taking the stairs two at a time, "live a little. Betcha there's nothing on, anyway."

"Oh God..." Jude groans, trailing after Ewan up to the kitchen. He shoves some beer into the fridge, carrying two cans into the living room. "Look there's got to be something better on TV than a bunch of guys shagging. I think the snooker might be on."

"Aren't you the least bit curious?" Ewan calls from his room. He finds the tapes and grabs the top one, whose cover promises "action at sea" with a bunch of barely-legal sailors, one of whom looks quite fit. Making his way back out to the sitting room, he tosses it onto the sofa next to Jude. "Mark gave them to me last week, but I haven't even had a chance to watch them myself."

"Oh come on...you're not going to make me sit through an hour of 'Ride me like a stallion, big boy!' are you?" Jude grimaces, pushing the video away with a faint sneer. It slides off the sofa, clattering to the floor. Jude sighs and reaches down to rescue it. "'Hello, Sailor'?" He giggles, holding it up. "How cliché is this? I suppose they're all lonely at sea without their girlfriends and so they just _have_ to shag each other til their dicks fall off..."

"Plot's not their strong point." Ewan grabs the tape from Jude and pops it in the VCR. "Look, you should've seen the other stuff Mark had. Be glad I didn't borrow the one with all this S&M shit starring a guy who looked like one of the Village People." He grins and flops down next to Jude. "Would've been good for a laugh, though."

"Huh...all right, all right." Jude folds his arms as his last sign of protest and leans back. It's pretty obvious what Ewan is trying to do now. He's not _that_ stupid. But he is curious. "Look, I'll give it a go. Promise you'll let me turn if off if I get..." He pauses. Implying that the idea of men fucking could 'gross him out' would probably not go down too well with Ewan, especially as the actual act doesn't seem to give him any problems these days. "You know, if it's really dumb and seedy..."

"It's _going_ to be really dumb." Rolling his eyes, Ewan turns the TV on and hands Jude the VCR remote. "Here, you're in control." The opening credits are already rolling. With a smirk, Ewan grabs a beer off the table and makes himself comfortable.

"Well, all right." Jude guesses this is Ewan's way of saying he doesn't want to hear him complaining all the way through the film. Now he's stuck with the choice of putting up with it, or disappointing Ewan. He sighs. No question which he'll choose. Tossing the remote onto the table in front of him, he sits back and sips his beer as the action starts on screen. The set up is predictable. A bunch of guys in some kind of naval uniform sitting around - and if that's a real ship they're on, Jude will eat his hat - discussing how bored and horny they are. As expected, the dialogue is nothing to write home about. Glances are exchanged and not too long later, one of them is lying in his bunk, reading a girlie magazine and unzipping his pants. Jude glances over at Ewan, but he's just sipping his beer, seemingly engrossed in the TV.

"Why make him straight?" Jude says, curious. "I mean, he's looking at girls but...hello, here comes his mate." Another guy has joined him and now they've both got their cocks out and are stroking slowly, casting occasional meaningful glances at each other. "But I mean, why not make him gay to start with?"

"Uh...you know..." Ewan shifts uncomfortably. "It's just er, a fantasy. Like that, well, maybe your mate's not as straight as he seems..."

"Oh." Jude raises his eyebrows. _'Oh' indeed._ There's not a lot else to say and perhaps he shouldn't have asked. One guy onscreen is now asking the other guy how long it is since he had a blow job... Jude can guess where this is leading. "You want another beer?" he says, brandishing his empty can. It seemed to go down very quickly.

"Yeah," Ewan says quickly. "Yes, definitely need another." As Jude heads into the kitchen, the guys on screen are getting busy, the pretty one taking the 'straight' bloke's cock in his mouth. Ewan squirms again. Despite the awkwardness of watching with Jude, he's starting to get hard. Downing the last of his beer and setting the empty can on the coffee table, he presses the heel of his hand to his crotch.

"Here you are..." Jude dangles the other beer in front of Ewan and then climbs over the back of the couch to flop down next to him. "Fuck, they don't waste time do they?"

"Not really." Still rubbing his cock through his jeans, Ewan cracks the beer open one-handed and takes a drink. "Like I said, they're not really heavy on plot."

Jude turns back to the TV. The music is some dreadful disco rip-off and the almost continuous moans and groans don't seem to bear any relation to the actual action on screen but, as he watches, he can't help but be fascinated by the way that one guy's cock keeps driving into the other man's mouth and how hard that guy is working the other guy's cock. It's enough to make even a straight guy hard. "God, he's really going for it, isn't he?"

"Yeah." Ewan's voice is hoarse and his cock is aching now. He shoves his beer between the cushions and flips open the top button of his jeans, then tugs his zipper down, and he can't help darting glances out of the corner of his eye to see if Jude's watching him.

Jude's mouth is dry. The guys on the screen have moved on to fucking and he's definitely getting hard, now. It's not just the way the groans have turned into grunts or the way one guy is shoving into the other one so hard he's rocking him up the bunk. It's not the story either. The dialogue is diabolical, just as bad as he'd expected. It's just...turning him on, and he doesn't really know why. If this were straight porn, with bouncing titties and girls spreading their legs to show their pussies, he'd have his cock out and be beating off, too, just like Ewan, but this is all a bit weird. This shouldn't be happening to him. It's probably because it's Ewan. Because sitting right next to Ewan, listening to the familiar soft grunt he makes as he slides his hand over his dick, it's all reminding him of sex with Ewan. His body's reacting to the proximity and the familiarity and, fuck it, to the stuff on screen, too. Jude shifts awkwardly, cupping the bulge in his jeans. "Fuck..." he murmurs. "Fucking hell..."

 _Fucking hell, indeed_ , Ewan thinks. Why should he have to sit here wanking when Jude's right next to him? He shouldn't. Squirming around, Ewan rests his arm on the back of the sofa and places his other hand over Jude's, gently pushing it away so he can get at Jude's fly. "Let me."

"God, I shouldn't..." Jude objects, but he's not objecting very hard. He lets Ewan push his hand away, ease his zip down, slide a hand inside his jeans. "I really...oh God..." Ewan's fingers are cool on his cock but _fuck_ that feels good. Jude whimpers and spreads his knees, pushing up against Ewan's hand. "Okay," he gasps, breathless with excitement. "Okay."

Jude's cock in his hand feels so familiar. Ewan hums happily to himself and cups the back of Jude's head as he leans in for a kiss.

"Mmmph..." For a moment Jude hesitates. He _shouldn't._ He's got a girlfriend... But he was fucking Ewan before he even met her. "Fuck it..." Jude groans and closes his eyes, leaning in to kiss Ewan back. His hand slides up Ewan's thigh to curl around Ewan's cock. And somehow it feels right.

The telly might as well be off for all the attention Ewan's paying it now. He feels an odd sense of triumph as Jude starts wanking him, and his lips curve into a smile. Jude's girlfriend doesn't matter; all that matters is that Ewan's the one Jude's snogging now, that it's his hand on Jude's cock that's making Jude moan. "Hey," he murmurs breathlessly, "wanna go to bed?"

"Yes...yes," Jude breathes. There's no point in holding back now. He sits up, easing himself off the sofa, and turns to pull Ewan up with him. "Just...your bed, okay?"

"Yeah...yeah, all right." Grabbing the remotes, Ewan shuts off the VCR and then the telly. He drops the remotes on the sofa, turns and heads towards his bedroom, already pulling his shirt off over his head. By the time he reaches the bed he's naked, grinning, and he bounces onto the bed, stretching out in the middle.

"You look pleased." Jude perches on the bed next to him, runs his fingertips down Ewan's flat, lightly-muscled chest. So different. So familiar. "I guess your evil plan worked, then. Move over."

"I didn't have a plan," Ewan protests. He catches Jude's hand in his own and grins up at him. "Though I do now, and it involves you fucking me."

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Jude pushes aside the nagging guilty voice in the back of his head, determined not to listen to it any more. Not when Ewan is lying there next to him, warm and willing and demanding to be fucked. Jude rolls half on top of him, kissing his way up Ewan's jaw.

"Okay...you still got the stuff handy?"

"Yeah, in the drawer." Ewan tugs at Jude's waistband. "You're a bit overdressed."

"Yeah, I know," Jude murmurs. He sits up and pulls his t-shirt off over his head. He'd forgotten how quickly and easily he can fall into bed with Ewan, how he doesn't have to spend what seems like _hours_ kissing and cuddling and petting first. Not that kissing and cuddling Ewan would be _unpleasant_ or anything, but it would be weird.

It's better this way, he thinks as he tugs off his jeans. Simple. Uncomplicated. Just skin against skin, getting off, fucking. Nothing more. Digging the lube out of the drawer, Jude turns back to Ewan and slides his arm around him. "Now...where were we?"

Ewan hooks one leg over Jude's waist and pulls him in for a kiss. His cock slides along the crease of Jude's groin. "Right about here, I think," he murmurs against Jude's lips.

"I think you're right." Jude runs his hand down Ewan's thigh, reaching between his legs to press a fingertip to his hole. "Right about..." he pushes in, "here."

"Nngh, yeah...like that, oh!" Ewan gasps as Jude curls his finger. "Oh _yeah_ , more of that." Rocking back on Jude's finger, he trails wet kisses up Jude's neck, catches his earlobe between his teeth and tugs.

"More?" Jude grins, pulling away from Ewan's teeth just so he can feel the strain on his earlobe. "More of that," he whispers. "Make me feel it."

Ewan bites harder, tongue playing over the edge of Jude's ear, and it's thrilling to think he might leave marks. Samantha might look at Jude's ear tomorrow and see teethmarks, and then what? He hitches his leg higher and thrusts against Jude's groin, pushes back on Jude's finger. "God..."

"Yeah." Jude scrabbles for the lube, squeezing a little onto his first two fingers. "Want me to fuck you, don't you? Want me to fuck you..." Leaning on Ewan's other knee, he forces his legs further apart, groping for the hole. "Come on, tell me you want me to fuck you."

"Fuck me, Jude, Jesus..." Ewan pants, arching his back as Jude's fingers slide in again. "Want you...nngh, fuck me..."

Jude adds another finger. He wants to make this good. He wants to make this wonderful. "Want me?" He growls, and some crazy egotistical part of him wants to hear Ewan saying it's _him_ that's important, _him_ , not the fact he's got a cock and is about to fuck Ewan through the mattress. He twists his arm, driving his fingers in deeper. "Tell me it's me you want to fuck you... You want _me_ to fuck you..."

"Jude, I... Jude, please, come _on_ ," Ewan groans. "I want you to fuck me."

"Fuck, yeah!" Jude's almost ready to plunge right in before he remembers. Safe sex. Condom. He groans. "Fucking...johnny. Hang on." Ewan's got plenty of packets of condoms on the bedside table. Jude picks one at random and tears open the packet. "Nearly there. Sorry. Won't be long..." He rolls it onto his cock with quivering fingers. "Nearly...God, yeah....yeah, ready."

Pulling his knees up to his chest, Ewan mutters, "Stop talking about it, then and do it."

"You want me to do it like the guys in the movie?" Jude grins as he positions himself between Ewan's legs. He certainly hasn't forgotten how to do _this_. Pressing in, he can feel Ewan's body stretching to accommodate him. "Jesus...so fucking tight! Oh...!" He closes his eyes, blood rushing to his head, his cock, his heart pounding. "Fuck, you're always so...ungh."

"Oh _fuck_ yeah, yeah..." Ewan hooks his legs over Jude's shoulders and reaches down for his cock, giving it a few slow strokes as Jude works his way in. It's exhilarating. Jude is fucking him. _Jude_ is fucking _him_ , and suddenly Ewan's determined not to let this be a one-time thing. "Fuck...Jude..."

"That's...what I intend...to do." Jude grunts, one hand gripping Ewan's thigh, the other planted firmly on the bed to give him leverage. He eases back, drives in, faster and faster until he's slamming into Ewan, over and over, rocking him up the bed.

"Fuck!" Ewan has to reach back, plant his hand on the headboard so he doesn't crack his skull. His other hand's pulling hard on his cock, and he really doesn't think he's going to last long like this. He bears down, clenching his muscles as Jude slams in again, grinning at the way Jude's mouth drops open in response.

"Oh God..." Jude hangs on, determined not to come before Ewan. Ewan's wide grin is infectious enough to make him smile, too, and suddenly he's grinning, the rush building up, his skin prickling. He slows, staring straight at Ewan. "Can't last...nearly there."

Ewan's thighs are already tensing, balls drawing up. Wanking frantically now, he can feel it, almost there, each stroke getting him a little bit closer, and then Jude's cock slides in just right and Ewan's coming almost before he realises what's happening.

Jude can feel it, Ewan clenching around him, his shoulders shaking as he shoots all over his belly, white trails of come all over his hand. Jude groans and his face goes slack as the orgasm hits, all senses momentarily overwhelmed as the pleasure rushes through him. "Oh God, oh... Ewan." He bows his head, trembling and breathless, and it's only when Ewan finally moves a leg that Jude pulls back and lets Ewan drop his legs back down. "Fuck...you've done me in."

"Yeah?" Ewan grins and tugs Jude down with him. "C'mere, you."

Grinning like an idiot, Jude flops down almost on top of Ewan, curling his arms around him and snuggling against his shoulder. "I'm not moving, you know."

"Mmm, I don't mind." Reaching down between them, Ewan tugs the condom off Jude's cock and drops it to the floor behind him. "You make a nice blanket."

"You make a nice mattress." Jude stretches his neck and kisses Ewan's cheek. "Hey... I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"For...well, you know." Jude presses his lips together and gives a small shrug. _For taking you for granted. For ignoring you as soon as a new girl comes along. For forgetting how much I love fucking you._ "Being a wanker."

"Pfft, you wouldn't be _you_ if you weren't a wanker, wanker," Ewan says, feeling his cheeks flush. "Don't be daft."

"You know what I mean," Jude grumbles. He's sleepy now, his eyelids feeling heavy. "I'm just glad I'm back."

"Yeah," Ewan whispers, "me, too."


	14. Sneaking Around

Ewan's got this weird fluttery feeling in his belly as he looks around for Jude. He should be here already; the train was on time. His stomach twists a little, an entirely different sort of anxiousness to the fluttering. Maybe Jude wasn't on the train at all. Maybe when they get back to the house, he'll find Jude's rung and said he's not coming up after all.

But no, there he is coming out of the toilets, a rucksack slung over his shoulder. He spots Ewan at the same time, grins and waves as he comes over.

"My dad's waiting in the car," Ewan says, giving him a quick hug. Quicker than he'd like, but it's not like- Well, there's no reason to be all over him. It's only been a week since Ewan's been gone.

It should have been two weeks, but when he'd rung Jude yesterday to say happy birthday, Jude had whinged about being alone and practically leapt at Ewan's offer to spend a few days with him in Crieff. After ringing off, Ewan had been grinning so broadly, his mum had asked (again) if he was sure Jude wasn't his boyfriend. He'd scowled at that, but it didn't last, and he'd walked around the rest of the day with a daft grin on his face.

On the drive home, Ewan sits in the back with Jude and wishes he had his licence so he could drive himself. Especially when his dad starts asking things like, "So, Jude, Ewan tells me your girl's abandoned you to visit her family," and Ewan tries to figure out how to say "I couldn't tell him she was with her _husband_ " in shrugs and grimaces.

It's even worse when they're back at the house and Ewan's mum is fussing over Jude like a long-lost son. Ewan can't decide whether to be embarrassed or sulk over the fact that she hadn't seemed this excited to see him or Colin.

Colin being home, too, means Jude gets stuck with a camp bed in Ewan's room, but that suits Ewan just fine. It feels like every time he wants to do something with Jude, Jude's busy with Sadie, but he's got Jude to himself now. For a whole four days, including New Year's Eve tomorrow.

They stay up late watching old black and white films on the telly and a couple of videos Ewan got for Christmas. Everyone else has long since gone to bed and Ewan finds himself moving closer and closer to Jude on the sofa until they're thigh to thigh and Ewan's got his arm around Jude's shoulders.

When Jude turns his head and smiles at him, Ewan's heart nearly stops and he can feel himself getting hard. With a quick prayer that no one wakes up and decides this would be the perfect time to come wandering in, Ewan leans in and kisses him. There's a momentary resistance and then Jude's mouth is opening under his, Jude's hand creeping up to rest on his arm.

The snogging lasts forever, or til the end of the film, anyway, and by the time the music fades into silence, they're both flushed and breathless and Ewan's so horny his dick's leaking onto his pyjama bottoms. He angles his hips, rubbing against Jude's leg as he worms his hand into Jude's waistband.

His fingertips brush the head of Jude's cock and Jude stiffens, pulling away. "Wait. Wait, no, Ewan...not here..."

"Why not?"

"We're in your parents' living room," Jude says, sounding utterly horrified, and Ewan would bet that he's only just remembered that. "What if someone comes in?"

"Ju- _ude_ ," Ewan whines, "I'm about to burst."

Jude stands, hand straying to the front of his tented pyjama bottoms. "I didn't say I wouldn't...just not here." Ewan stares at him blankly and Jude sighs, rolling his eyes. "Your room?"

"Yes," Ewan shoots to his feet, "brilliant idea!"

"Shh!"

They're halfway down the hall when Jude turns back, returning after a few moments with a nervous grin and a whispered "had to turn off the telly".

This time when they're in Ewan's bedroom, Jude spares no time for poking around at Star Wars figures and other relics of Ewan's adolescence the way he had earlier. Instead he looks nervously at Ewan and says, "Your bed doesn't squeak, does it?"

"Fuck the bed," Ewan says, pushing Jude up against the closed door, and soon t-shirts are pushed up and pyjama bottoms pushed down and they're thrusting against each other frantically. Jude's clutches Ewan's arse, fingers digging in. Ewan's hands are everywhere, touching Jude wherever he can. They're both trying desperately to be quiet, mouths crushed together to swallow the grunts and moans, the little gasps when they come.

Ewan's legs are trembling, his breath coming in shaky gulps as he buries his head in Jude's neck and tries not to slide to the floor. "Fuck..."

"Yeah," Jude breathes, "fuck."

"We should erm..."

Jude's arms steal up, fingers hooking in the back of Ewan's t-shirt. "Yeah..." his arms tighten around Ewan, "in a sec."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is backstory to a much longer series written for the Establishment RPG. Although these backstory fics end here, I will eventually be posting the "present day" stuff.


End file.
